rue Posted October 21, 2005 Share Posted October 21, 2005 I'll try not to make this thread to long but this is a sad situation that has gone on too long. I have been married for about 17 years and my husband is an alcoholic and has been off the wagon for 15 of those 17. We have 2 kids (girl and boy) my daughter was 2 when her dad starrted drinking again and my son has never known a dad that didn't drink. I didn't know he was an alcoholic when we met,dated, got engaged or married because he and his family kept it from me. That may sound unreal but it is true. His family is one of those "southern families" that keep their dirty laundry in the closet. I feel so stupid for not seeing it and even more stupid for staying as long as I have. Over the years, I have put up with being left alone so much it is pathetic. I have raised my children pretty much by myself and they have turned out great considering their parents marriage is a joke. My husband isn't a abusive type but he does have a sarcastic mouth and he thinks I should just go along with whatever it is that he does and never say anything against him. I am supposed to be waiting at the door "all prettied-up" and just welcome my hard-working man home no matter how late he has stayed out or how much money he has blown. I have had to move from rental houses because we couldn't pay the rent, I have had my power cut off several times because money was spent on beer. When we moved into our present location, he was supposed to come home and get out mattresses because it was the day the electricity was going to be on in the new place and off at our old one, and he didn't come home all night long. I loaded up a mattress in my jeep and my kids and we slept in the new house on the floor. It was winter when we moved and not only was there no lights at the old place there was no heat either. I lost my car because payments weren't made. I have had returned checks from the grocery store because my husband would write checks at the bar he and his buddies went to. I have a stack of old checks that I keep to remind me to stay strong and get out. They total up to about $3000.00 in about a 3-4 month period. I should be part owner in that bar. That's just the checks it doesn't include the cash he has thrown away. About 3 years ago, I kicked him out and he had to go into rehab. I had no intentions of taking him back but one night I went out with a girlfriend and we met some people.. I made a mistake, you guys know what I mean but I had been so lonely for so long. It didn't mean anything and the guy was really, really a nice guy but I felt so guilty and I went back to my husband. He knows about it and he doesn't say anything. Can you believe I asked him to forgive me? God, I am so stupid!! Things were okay for a while, he was on his best behavior and I was trying to get rid of the guilt I felt but it didn't last. He started drinking again and staying out all night. This year on my anniversary, we ate dinner with his parents, it was nice but when we came home "he went to the store" and he didn't come home all night. I found out the next morning he had been arrested for DUI. He called me and TOLD me to get our neighbor to bail him out and call his job and tell them he was sick. I did it because if he lost his job we would be out on the streets and my kids don't deserve that. They don't deserve any of the crap they have been put through. Anyway, that DUI has cost so much but he still hasn't stopped drinking. I just recently got a car because I have been driving an 89 Jeep that was held together with duck tape and prayer. Like I said, not only am I stupid I am also STUPID because I just found out that because of the DUI if our car insurance gets cancelled I could lose my car because we are both on the policy. He told me I should have waited to buy the car. Oh yeah, to top all this off my birthday was 10-16, guess what hubby did to celebrate?!! I have had it!! I want out!!! Link to post Share on other sites
KAris112297 Posted October 21, 2005 Share Posted October 21, 2005 You are not stupid. I think he needs to get his act together. And you need to focus on you and the kids. What-ever-it-takes. That is way too much for anyone to take. Help him and you have. But you need help. Reach out to family, friends...mayeb you have to leave him. He needs a sobering experience, because he isn't just doing this to himself. Theres You and the Children. Both dealing with his addiction and choas. I wish you luck. -KAris Link to post Share on other sites
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