SleeplessinFlorida Posted January 12, 2022 Share Posted January 12, 2022 11 hours ago, Dis said: There's no set time frame It depends on how strongly I still feel about an ex and quickly I'm able to heal and not think of them often After one break up I had, two exs ago, I didn't even take a healing break because he was such a jerk I didn't feel anything but relief getting away from him. But with this ex it will definitely take some time because he had a good heart and I felt deeply about him. Who knows how long it will take. But I want to take my time because I've tried dating since then and it didn't go well because I wasn't over him. Need to get through this before I can find my gem. I went threw something similar and was just curious. It's been awhile and I still think about her from time to time and haven't been out on any dates or anything like that. Guess I was just wondering if it was time for me to get back out there or not. Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
introverted1 Posted January 12, 2022 Share Posted January 12, 2022 11 hours ago, Dis said: I actually texted him a day or so ago asking if he had any rapid COVID test kits from work because I was sick and thought I had it Why on earth would you do this if your goal is to let both of you heal and move on? And presumably, as a nurse, you have access to tests or at least to other friends who might have tests. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted January 12, 2022 Share Posted January 12, 2022 11 hours ago, Dis said: I actually texted him a day or so ago asking if he had any rapid COVID test kits from work because I was sick and thought I had it Dis tsk tsk tsk You have plenty of rapid tests yourself to test yourself AND only if you're positive THEN you text him to inform him. You were only looking for an excuse to text him, which is bad for you, and pretty unfair on him! I think I have covid was an excuse. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
ASG Posted January 13, 2022 Share Posted January 13, 2022 On 1/7/2022 at 5:11 AM, Dis said: There's no spontaneity dating someone with a kid either. Want to go out to eat? Can't...the kid. Want to take a weekend trip? Can't....the kid. Want to run errands with me? Can't...the kid. There was no togetherness. Our time was always intercepted by the kid. And there's something so nice about just going to the grocery store with the person you're with. Can't even do that most of the time. I ended up going grocery shopping all the time just to get out of the house for a break...alone. I mean... You absolutely do not have to like kids, or want to date guys with kids, but this isn't true. I mean, if you absolutely don't want to do anything with the kid, then I guess it is, but most people manage just fine! My friends who have kids do all sorts of things, with the kids. They go out to restaurants, they go on weekend trips, they go on holidays abroad... And a lot of it is fairly spontaneous. It is harder to do things ALONE, yes. But also not impossible, at least for most people. However, like I said, you didn't like the kid, and now don't want to date anyone with kids, and that's 100% valid. Just pointing out that just because your ex didn't want to do anything because of the kid, that's more on him than on the kid! On 1/12/2022 at 4:04 AM, Dis said: I actually texted him a day or so ago asking if he had any rapid COVID test kits from work because I was sick and thought I had it Surely you get tests at work... And surely you have closer friends you can text asking for a test, if you happen to not have any... Youwanted to text him and used this as an excuse! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted January 13, 2022 Share Posted January 13, 2022 Your claim to being in touch with your ex and seeing him as a bandaid until you find the next guy that does it for you is essentially what you've done. This is not right. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
vla1120 Posted January 13, 2022 Share Posted January 13, 2022 After my daughter dated a single dad, she completely changed her outlooks on dating, marriage, and having children. She mentioned many of the same issues both you and Happy Lemming mentioned. Personally, I resent that loser that she dated for 4 years because he ruined any chance of me being a grandparent (at least from her) since she decided after that not to have children! 😂 (Though I do respect her decision.) I agree with what others have said, that his sedentary lifestyle would not have been compatible with you in the long term. By the way, thank you for being a nurse and being on the front line of this pandemic! I admire you, and I know you'll find someone with whom you are more compatible. 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dis Posted January 14, 2022 Author Share Posted January 14, 2022 7 hours ago, ASG said: I mean... You absolutely do not have to like kids, or want to date guys with kids, but this isn't true. I mean, if you absolutely don't want to do anything with the kid, then I guess it is, but most people manage just fine! My friends who have kids do all sorts of things, with the kids. They go out to restaurants, they go on weekend trips, they go on holidays abroad... And a lot of it is fairly spontaneous. It is harder to do things ALONE, yes. But also not impossible, at least for most people. However, like I said, you didn't like the kid, and now don't want to date anyone with kids, and that's 100% valid. Just pointing out that just because your ex didn't want to do anything because of the kid, that's more on him than on the kid! Surely you get tests at work... And surely you have closer friends you can text asking for a test, if you happen to not have any... Youwanted to text him and used this as an excuse! #1- I agree it was more of a problem with my ex not wanting to live and be active. But it really just comes down to, like you said, I really don't want to be around other people's kids so yeah it's a deal breaker for me moving forward #2- They changed their policy about testing employees as the lab is over run with processing patient tests so no I couldn't get swabbed there. And once he said he wasn't at work and didn't have access, I ended the convo. So no, not accurate on your assessment there. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dis Posted January 14, 2022 Author Share Posted January 14, 2022 7 hours ago, Alpaca said: Your claim to being in touch with your ex and seeing him as a bandaid until you find the next guy that does it for you is essentially what you've done. This is not right. Kind of a pessimistic view of it that of course you're taking because it's simplest way to crucify someone which people love to do on here. But in reality we were both willing participants who loved each other and didn't want to let go...but at the same time wanted to move on 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dis Posted January 14, 2022 Author Share Posted January 14, 2022 6 hours ago, vla1120 said: After my daughter dated a single dad, she completely changed her outlooks on dating, marriage, and having children. She mentioned many of the same issues both you and Happy Lemming mentioned. Personally, I resent that loser that she dated for 4 years because he ruined any chance of me being a grandparent (at least from her) since she decided after that not to have children! 😂 (Though I do respect her decision.) I agree with what others have said, that his sedentary lifestyle would not have been compatible with you in the long term. By the way, thank you for being a nurse and being on the front line of this pandemic! I admire you, and I know you'll find someone with whom you are more compatible. Thanks for sharing that because I'm still so surprised it changed my outlook on what I wanted for my future. I always thought I wanted kids and to have a happy little family. But after that? Nope, I don't ever want to be around a kid again lol. I want to get married, travel and have my freedom to come and go as I please. I have so much living to do I can't imagine being tied down by a kid again. You're very welcome and thanks for saying that! I know I'll meet the right guy when the time is right ❤️ Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted January 14, 2022 Share Posted January 14, 2022 8 minutes ago, Dis said: I always thought I wanted kids and to have a happy little family. But after that? Nope, I don't ever want to be around a kid again lol. I've dated several women that didn't want children, you are not alone your views on this subject. 9 minutes ago, Dis said: I want to get married, travel and have my freedom to come and go as I please. I have so much living to do I can't imagine being tied down by a kid again. I keep saying "there is a lid for every pot" Your guy is out there and he will want the exact same things. Keep searching... as he is also looking for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dis Posted January 14, 2022 Author Share Posted January 14, 2022 On 1/12/2022 at 10:50 AM, Gaeta said: Dis tsk tsk tsk You have plenty of rapid tests yourself to test yourself AND only if you're positive THEN you text him to inform him. You were only looking for an excuse to text him, which is bad for you, and pretty unfair on him! I think I have covid was an excuse. G I swear I did not have any test kits and could not find any either. They're really hard to come by and I couldn't get swabbed at work. I checked in with all my friends too and no one had them or any idea where to get any. I haven't been around him in awhile so I didn't need to tell him if I was positive or not and if I didn't need a test kit I wouldn't have said anything about it to him He didn't mind that I texted him and I ended the convo after he said he no longer had access to them at work 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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