rudiger Posted January 10, 2022 Share Posted January 10, 2022 My girlfriend has serious anger problems. For the past week we have been arguing on the phone and it caused her to break up with me because she didn't want to cause me any more pain due to her anger. But the very next day I called and she bawled her eyes out that she regretted breaking up with me and wanted me back. At the beginning of our relationship her anger was not evident it was only weeks in that it started surfacing and exploding. I know she loves me deeply as she reminds me everyday but her anger gets in the the way of our relationship, even her parents almost disowned her due to her temper. Is there any way I can find a solution to help her control her temper? As she refuses to take her medication. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted January 10, 2022 Share Posted January 10, 2022 Why won't she take her meds? No, you are not a therapist or a doctor, are you? The best thing you can do for her is to break up and tell her you don't tolerate a bad temper. That if she get's therapy and takes her medication and you see improvement you might give it another shot. Otherwise good bye for good. Never reward people for acting bad. Can she hold down a job? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
central Posted January 10, 2022 Share Posted January 10, 2022 You can't change her, and the only way to help her is to set very strong boundaries for acceptable behavior and enforce those boundaries with appropriate consequences, including breaking up permanently if that's what the behavior warrants. She will either attempt to change on her own and take her medication, or not - you'll know which. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted January 10, 2022 Share Posted January 10, 2022 3 hours ago, rudiger said: she refuses to take her medication. You can't fix or change her. She chooses to be noncompliant with treatment and that is her responsibility. However allowing her toxic abuse is enabling her and normalizing her mood/anger disorder. When you leave, she'll be 'inspired' to take better care of herself. Your self resect comes first. When someone voluntarily lets themselves fall into decay and chaos and refuses to be responsible for their health and behavior, they will not make good partners. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted January 11, 2022 Share Posted January 11, 2022 13 hours ago, rudiger said: Is there any way I can find a solution to help her control her temper? As she refuses to take her medication. No, because if she won't help herself, there is nothing you can do. She needs the sort of help you cannot offer. I am sure she already knows what to do (contact her doctor/psychiatrist and take her medication or discuss alternatives) but she appparently doesn't want to do that. It's a dead-end with people like her, I'm sorry to say. Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted January 11, 2022 Share Posted January 11, 2022 15 hours ago, rudiger said: My girlfriend has serious anger problems. For the past week we have been arguing on the phone and it caused her to break up with me because she didn't want to cause me any more pain due to her anger. But the very next day I called and she bawled her eyes out that she regretted breaking up with me and wanted me back. At the beginning of our relationship her anger was not evident it was only weeks in that it started surfacing and exploding. I know she loves me deeply as she reminds me everyday but her anger gets in the the way of our relationship, even her parents almost disowned her due to her temper. Is there any way I can find a solution to help her control her temper? As she refuses to take her medication. What were you both arguing about? What issues does she have with her parents or vice versa? Is the medication for her moods or for something else? Link to post Share on other sites
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