Why does gentle parenting offend the older generations?

[siren8272]

For those who don't  know gentle parenting is a method rooted in childhood development. It discourages spanking and instead suggest other developmentally appropriate ways of discipline. Well Ive noticed in my work in mental health and family therapy that older people especially boomers seem to get enraged at this idea. Ive had a mother get almost aggressive because her daughter chose to use gentle parenting over traditional methods. In my own family a grand kid put on their moms playlist that included gentle parenting videos and the family elders went wild. They were cussing , screaming and cancelled sunday dinner. What is the issue that some older folks have with the younger gen employing these methods? Is it because its so opposite of traditional parenting?  Also any suggestions for calming a person enraged by seeing gentle parenting methods?

 

[S2B]

When did it start being called such a funky name? We just call it parenting.

it’s better known as no abuse parenting. As in - talk to your kids instead of beating them.

it’s mainly when parents don’t discipline at all that it bothers me. Give some guidelines - set the rules - give consequences when they cross the boundary. Give praise for really great kids.

older folks may just not believe in anything but abuse - and we can see where that has left us.

Edited January 15, 2022 by S2B

[basil67]

I've never heard the term gentle parenting either....it sounds passive and weak and I think the term alone gives a bad impression.   

Anyway, I'm Gen X, I'm quite familiar with communication, guidance, teaching empathy and non violent consequences for behaviour.   Some say that spanking brings respect, but my recollection of being spanked was a feeling of fear.  And fear does not underpin respect.  

As far as the reason why people lash out, if you work in therapy, you'd be familiar with the concept that many people do not like change.   You'd also know that many people don't take kindly to having what they see as having worked for them being criticised.   And of course, there is the ever enduring thing where some old people think that all the young ones are sending us to hell in a handcart.  

 

 

 

[basil67]

I have to add, if someone told me that spanking was part of effective parenting, I'd react badly too.   It doesn't matter which side of the argument you stand on, people don't like having their beliefs criticised.