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Should I play the field?


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After a 12-year relationship and seven years married, my wife asked me for a divorce. After about a month I decided to put myself on the market and created a Match.com profile. The first person to reach out to me wasn't interested in being the "rebound" so nothing went beyond an initial conversation. The second person I started a conversation with, we connected right away and have beeing dating for the past two months. We're both separated, but she's been so for over a year and has dated other guys before meeting me. I like her and I know she feels strongly about me. So much so she's taken down her dating profile while mine has remained. About a month ago we talked and I told her how I was feeling about the budding relationship, but felt I needed to explore my options. She completely understood. We've continued to see each other and up until recently, I hadn't had much luck meeting other people. In that time myself and the woman I've been seeing have called each other boyfriend/girlfriend.

Although I wasn't actively pursuing anyone, I've attracted the interest of two other women. One I've had steady conversation with, the other not as much. I'm tentatively scheduled to meet this other person tomorrow.

Lady A has been great. She genuinely seems interested in me and willing to do anything to ensure I'm happy. She takes interest in my work and my hobbies, unlike my ex. Obviously I like her enough to continue seeing her, but at the same time I never expected to get involved in a serious relationship with the first person I met.

I've enjoyed conversing with Lady B and I'm intrigued to at least learn what she has to offer. Lady C is cute and we've had maybe one or two conversations, but we haven't exchanged personal contact information. Considering all this I wonder if I'm doing something wrong by continuing to explore my options, especially knowing how Lady A feels about me.

I understand I need to do what's best for me, especially after two failed marriages, but at the same time, if I met someone who made me happier, I'd hate to hurt Lady A, knowing the commitment she's made to me.

What would you do in this situation? Settle with Lady A who does make you happy, or continue to explore options so soon after a separation?

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Lady A is a support net for you after your divorce. Remember that you once had a spouse you considered family. Lady A slides into that role neatly. 

If you are considering exploring your options, date around and meet new individuals.

You’re torn because you are afraid to be alone. I don’t think you will heal completely from your divorce until you see how strong you are on your own and learn from past mistakes.

Be wary of repeating the same patterns again from your marriage.

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Lady A is thinking she's got you because you both have fallen into the BF/GF roles. I doubt she's thinking you are still exploring your options because of the type of attention you are giving her. It would in everyone's best interest for you to end it with lady A, and make sure the women you are meeting understand that you are newly single and exploring other options to avoid any headaches. 

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2 minutes ago, elaine567 said:

Two failed marriages behind you.
Why?

The first never should have happened, but I was thinking with my heart rather than my head. She cheated, lied, and stole money from me, then walked off with my grandmother's engagement ring.

The second, my ex just told me she didn't love me any more. She didn't give a reason, but I can speculate. It just didn't work out in the long run.

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Unfortunately, 'still married, recently separated' is the death knell for most online dating.

You can date around, but until you are settled and past the throes of divorce, you'll have a long road ahead.

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