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Seperated by greater distances daily...


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My wife and I are seperated.

 

 

heres the skinny so you have some history. We have been together 10 years, married 8. We have 2 kids 7,2 and one in the oven(one month). We have been seperated since Aug 5th-05. 2 months. i cheated on here over 2 years ago, after she left the state and told me she wasn't coming back. During the month long Fuss of the Cheating and all the drama and emotions I wallked out and left and said some horrible things. She asked me not to leave but I did any way...but 3 months later I was back. 2 years later she leaves me.

 

Here we are.

 

Now we barely communicate and are 3 hours away from eachother. I really love her and realise what i did...all i did and how damaging it was. And would do anything to fix it. She says it's not enough...she cannot get over the cheating. It's that simple.

 

I found out over the last few weeks she has been talking to men...I found some cards and a room key, its one of her ex's when I confronted her she refused to elaborate telling me "it was nothing...and to let it go..She was stupid, but I have no right to question her."

 

I go up to teh house on weekends and paly with teh kids. My wife is distant, but we have moments of authentic tenderness and emotions. We went to teh doctor together to verify the pregnancy. Last weekend she came down to my apartment...We had a great time. Incredible, We had the best...most mind-blowing sex you can imagine. Even tough she said it meant nothing. She also did something she hasn't done in over 2 months. She cuddled with me. Although she also said "it means nothing". But I saw some genuine things. She went home and she let me know she had a great weekend.

 

Monday, I called this guy. I needed for him to understand the situation. I told my wife...she hasn't spoke to me since or responded to my emails. the last thing she said was "I told you not to call him, you did this, think about that...And after the weekend I foolishly started thinging there could be a us again"(thats paraphrasing but accurate in tone).

 

I am on my way up there after work and so scared and worried she will be cold to me. But I want to be with her...see the children...be a family.

 

I am so sorry..we have to work it out...there is no other option for me.

I went to a therapist at my wifes suggestion(too late)...I don't know how it will help really.

 

 

-KAris(I started ranting...I just needed to get this out.I am having a very hard time)

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