Covid and relationships

[Trail Blazer]

This guy is no good.  He's selfish and controlling.  Living with him would be a nightmare.  Think very carefully about how you proceed moving forward.

[poppyfields]

Just a hunch, but I think there was more to his seemingly selfish and controlling reaction and this entire situation than just this one incident.

There typically is...

On both sides.

Edited January 25, 2022 by poppyfields

[basil67]

Indeed there is more to his selfishness:  As per the post which has been linked in this thread - him recently leaving a dying pet at the pound to pass alone and abandoned.   What kind of person does a thing like that? 😪 

[poppyfields]

20 minutes ago, basil67 said:

Indeed there is more to his selfishness:  As per the post which has been linked in this thread - him recently leaving a dying pet at the pound to pass alone and abandoned.   What kind of person does a thing like that? 😪 

Grrr, didn't read that!  I might have to rethink my original opinion.😳

[Alpacalia]

Just read your other thread.

I'm so sorry to hear that you're in this situation.

I think you know in your heart what you need to do.

Now, finding the strength is a whole other matter. 

Letting go of someone you care about is definitely a difficult thing to do.

 

 

[Alpacalia]

50 minutes ago, basil67 said:

Indeed there is more to his selfishness:  As per the post which has been linked in this thread - him recently leaving a dying pet at the pound to pass alone and abandoned.   What kind of person does a thing like that? 😪 

Yes, that would be enough for me.

😠😢

[Versacehottie]

1 hour ago, KelliM1969 said:

Yes, unfortunately, I know I'm a fool to still be in a relationship with him.

Oh no...I read the other thread. I think you are just getting warning signs from many angles.  Dealbreakers all around. Being that you are an animal lover as well, I would think this would be impossible for you to accept in a boyfriend. I know you are already in the relationship but what is it going to take for you to face that he's not good enough for you? come on, you are worth more than this. I got the feeling from your first post on this thread that he was brutish and not evolved...the link to the past post is more of the same.  I don't think you should want a person like this in your life let alone date him. Sorry. I know it can be hard to hear but this stuff must be swirling in your head for a little bit now. You can't be hard on yourself (bolded) if that is what is preventing you from having the courage to break it off.  Do what you need to do to stop berating yourself and being conflicted. To break up with him is a no brainer IMO.

[KelliM1969]

8 minutes ago, Versacehottie said:

Oh no...I read the other thread. I think you are just getting warning signs from many angles.  Dealbreakers all around. Being that you are an animal lover as well, I would think this would be impossible for you to accept in a boyfriend. I know you are already in the relationship but what is it going to take for you to face that he's not good enough for you? come on, you are worth more than this. I got the feeling from your first post on this thread that he was brutish and not evolved...the link to the past post is more of the same.  I don't think you should want a person like this in your life let alone date him. Sorry. I know it can be hard to hear but this stuff must be swirling in your head for a little bit now. You can't be hard on yourself (bolded) if that is what is preventing you from having the courage to break it off.  Do what you need to do to stop berating yourself and being conflicted. To break up with him is a no brainer IMO.

Thank you, I do agree.  Too many negative things have been happening lately and I just don't think I can take much more.  I deserve much better than this.

[mark clemson]

It seems generally that COVID is a "wedge" issue that has a tendency drive people apart in how they view and respond to it (or believe it should be responded to). Perhaps your relationship could work without COVID in the picture, but since there is no changing that you will have to process this as an incompatibility. Many if not most couples have incompatibilities of varying degrees - the question is whether your relationship can (or should) handle this one.

I don't have advice for you as to which way to go with that, but if there are other underlying problems that COVID is exacerbating, you could consider whether this is giving you a more complete picture of the person you're electing to be in a relationship with.

Edited January 26, 2022 by mark clemson

[jspice]

You were absolutely right to do things according to your own timeline. He sounds incredibly selfish. Any reasonable person would not want to potentially expose their partner to the virus. You were being responsible by quarantining after your potential exposure. 

[ShyViolet]

5 hours ago, KelliM1969 said:

Yes, unfortunately, I know I'm a fool to still be in a relationship with him.

How on earth, HOW HOW HOW could you be with such a bad person?  They are not "just animals", animal abuse is vile and the way a person treats animals says everything about their character.  I'm so upset and disgusted I can't read this thread anymore.

[KelliM1969]

I would like to thank everyone for their responses.  This was almost like therapy for me and it opened up my eyes to the other things that he has done and when I put it all together? We don't have a relationship anymore.  The first issue was the cat, then when I went out for the first time without him with my girlfriend, he texted me all night was asking why there was a guy standing next to our table, etc.  His reasoning for acting that way was because he was in many toxic relationships where women cheated on him.  I let him slide with that.  This time around with the Covid 19 and him questioning if I loved him because I stayed away 10 days was ridiculous and to never do that again. He was trying to tell me today that he didn't mean what he said, that I took it the wrong way, but I didn't after going back and re-reading his texts. He accused me of punishing him for being sick and when I called him out on this today, he used the same tactic as the last time "he was in many toxic relationships where he got cheated on"  I told him that I never gave him a reason to think that he couldn't trust me and if he can't trust me after being together for almost a year that we didn't have a relationship.  I told him to get out of his own head and get healed because he is bleeding on everyone that he tries to date.  Thanks again everyone and stay safe!

[glows]

1 minute ago, KelliM1969 said:

I would like to thank everyone for their responses.  This was almost like therapy for me and it opened up my eyes to the other things that he has done and when I put it all together? We don't have a relationship anymore.  The first issue was the cat, then when I went out for the first time without him with my girlfriend, he texted me all night was asking why there was a guy standing next to our table, etc.  His reasoning for acting that way was because he was in many toxic relationships where women cheated on him.  I let him slide with that.  This time around with the Covid 19 and him questioning if I loved him because I stayed away 10 days was ridiculous and to never do that again. He was trying to tell me today that he didn't mean what he said, that I took it the wrong way, but I didn't after going back and re-reading his texts. He accused me of punishing him for being sick and when I called him out on this today, he used the same tactic as the last time "he was in many toxic relationships where he got cheated on"  I told him that I never gave him a reason to think that he couldn't trust me and if he can't trust me after being together for almost a year that we didn't have a relationship.  I told him to get out of his own head and get healed because he is bleeding on everyone that he tries to date.  Thanks again everyone and stay safe!

Ok that's good. It's only up from here. No need to stay in contact with him either. Given his abuse of animals or disregard for others, I suspect he'll come back as he'll need more of someone to push around. Just move forwards resolutely.

[NuevoYorko]

I'm sorry but am I just dense?  I am not getting any idea of why being with this man would be a good idea for you.   (My opinion based on your first post - now it's cemented).

[serial muse]

On 1/26/2022 at 3:04 PM, KelliM1969 said:

I would like to thank everyone for their responses.  This was almost like therapy for me and it opened up my eyes to the other things that he has done and when I put it all together? We don't have a relationship anymore.  The first issue was the cat, then when I went out for the first time without him with my girlfriend, he texted me all night was asking why there was a guy standing next to our table, etc.  His reasoning for acting that way was because he was in many toxic relationships where women cheated on him.  I let him slide with that.  This time around with the Covid 19 and him questioning if I loved him because I stayed away 10 days was ridiculous and to never do that again. He was trying to tell me today that he didn't mean what he said, that I took it the wrong way, but I didn't after going back and re-reading his texts. He accused me of punishing him for being sick and when I called him out on this today, he used the same tactic as the last time "he was in many toxic relationships where he got cheated on"  I told him that I never gave him a reason to think that he couldn't trust me and if he can't trust me after being together for almost a year that we didn't have a relationship.  I told him to get out of his own head and get healed because he is bleeding on everyone that he tries to date.  Thanks again everyone and stay safe!

So glad to read this. Really, you dodged a bullet here! Onward and upward.