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open conflict in ukraine and living here


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My gf is refusing to leave ukraine with me given the current situation in ukraine. my friends and family are pleading with me to at least leave for 30 days until things cool over. the embassy evacd. my spec ops friends have said its not looking good and I should leave. but she doesnt want to go. its causing tension and might cause us to break up if I leave but the objective people in my life are telling me im being stupid and need to leave asap. i contacted the embassy and they said I should have a contingency plan because now that the embassy has been emtpied they wont be able to help me. travel advisory is lvl 4 ( do not travel). I dont know what to do. I know shell see me as a coward and it will most likely end the relationship. she doesnt think anything will happen. what to do

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Just now, jerrygordon3 said:

My gf is refusing to leave ukraine with me given the current situation in ukraine. my friends and family are pleading with me to at least leave for 30 days until things cool over. the embassy evacd. my spec ops friends have said its not looking good and I should leave. but she doesnt want to go. its causing tension and might cause us to break up if I leave but the objective people in my life are telling me im being stupid and need to leave asap. i contacted the embassy and they said I should have a contingency plan because now that the embassy has been emtpied they wont be able to help me. travel advisory is lvl 4 ( do not travel). I dont know what to do. I know shell see me as a coward and it will most likely end the relationship. she doesnt think anything will happen. what to do

im a US citizen*

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ClearEyes-FullHeart

Pack and leave. Your gf can’t protect you should an invasion or war break out. When the embassy left you should have IMO. Good luck. 

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Yes, you should leave as soon as possible.  If this results in the breakup of your relationship then sadly I think that's for the best.  Safety is not not something you should compromise.  

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1 hour ago, jerrygordon3 said:

i contacted the embassy and they said I should have a contingency plan because now that the embassy has been emtpied they wont be able to help me.. I know shell see me as a coward and it will most likely end the relationship.

Ending the relationship is best for both of you whether you stay or go.

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2 hours ago, FMW said:

Yes, you should leave as soon as possible.  If this results in the breakup of your relationship then sadly I think that's for the best.  Safety is not not something you should compromise.  

shes just so close minded about it. " lll die like a hero" she says. if theres an invasion. not understanding. even when it just makes sense to take a vacation for 30 days. no ok baby. no please dont go! nothing. just enjoy your vacation. I;ve been to war. Ive been shot at. I've walked in IED fields. I;ve seen it. She has no concept. and furthermore the whole of the world is saying its not a good time to remain here. at the very least just taking a vacation is the responsible thing to do. nobody knows whats going to happen. I dont think theyll fight in our city but if there is any invasion even at all borders are going to have issues. there could be check points, martial law, and being an american could be a nightmare especially IF there was some kind of occupation. its just an overall political nightmare and her perspective is that i must just be so scared. No, my family and friends are telling me repeatedly to leave and so is the embassy. the country is surrounded on all sides by NATO forces and russians and putin is saying he feels threatened now that NATO has pushed up to Russian borders. the information is there, she thinks im being extra.... if 100% of the foreign world is saying Ukraine is going to be ground zero, and 50% of ukrainians are saying nothing will happen, then the statistics still outweigh the risks. its the sensible thing to do to err on the side of caution and just stay out of it for awhile. at the very least come on vacation for 30 days so we can chill and my family can stop shitting themselves

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5 minutes ago, jerrygordon3 said:

at the very least come on vacation for 30 days so we can chill and my family can stop shitting themselves

She's not you. It's not all about you.  That's her home. For you it was a pitstop/adventure. Leave so your family won't worry.

She'll be fine. She has friends, family etc. there.

It's naïve to think a 30 day vacation to chill will help this situation.

Edited by Wiseman2
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Well, she is just your girlfriend, not your wife. Being a GF or a BF is not a very high level of commitment in a grand scheme of things. You are not obligated to stay, she is not obligated to follow you. So, if you worry about your own safety, then leave. Nothing much you can do for her if she is unwilling. Being on a 30 day vacation with just a boyfriend is probably not that appealing to her, provided that her entire life is in Ukraine. But be realistic, 30 days are not going to fix anything.

Do you think it would be different for her if you were married?

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TeddyBundy1993

Dude get out of there Russians are no joke.  You can get into more trouble as you are a US citizen. She's local right? You'll find love again but if you loose your life or get stuck in unpleasant events it will take much long to get out of it. It she doesn't want to accompany you to a safer place then let it be, people in war torn country do whatever they can to go to safer place. As one member said it's her home she belongs there.  Return to your family, Do not take chances

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