He wants to see me

[georgiagirl76]

Hey everyone

 

Today he imed me. He asked me a lot of questions to catch up and then he asked if it would be ok to call me this weekend. He was getting ready to walk out the door to go to dinner and a hockey game with some friends. I asked him if something was wrong and he said no but that he was feeling bad and he wanted to talk to me. I told him not to call me because he was feeling bad- call me because he was ready to talk to me.

 

He said he was and then said he wanted to see me to talk. So there we are- I am thinking that this meeting is going to be about closure and not a second chance but I wasn't sure where to post this.

 

At first I was wanting him back so badly that I couldn't really think of anything else. Then as time passed I started to focus on my happiness and process the success and failures of our relationship and figure out what my needs are.

 

Now I feel like I am strong enough to see him face to face. Before I was sure I would feel insecure or uneasy or emotional. I know that this meeting has potential consequences of pain but I think the closure will be good.

 

It has been 6 weeks since we saw each other and I think it will at least help shut the door and help me move on.

 

I have no clue as to why he wants to see me- but we shall see.

 

I hope you all have a blessed and happy weekend.

[curly]

Well... I'm assuming that he broke up with you....

 

So on that assumption. He wants to see if you're still an open door. A safety net. He's not so glum that he can't do anything (he went out with his friends, right?) but think about what a mistake he made. But he wants to test the waters.

 

I think you're in for a roller coaster ride. And I speak from experience. I've kept my ex on the line like this for a long, long time. It's truly not healthy or good for either of us but.... Humans are an insecure, destructive species.

 

Be very wary. Don't show all your cards. By that I mean, don't profess undying love. If he walked, let him grovel. Declare why he left and why he wants to come back. & truly listen to what he says. Feel your instincts. And don't fight them when/if they feel off. If they feel off, if he hasn't truly come back in a BIG way, say - "sorry, not enough... I don't feel it from you. Is there anything else?"

 

When you leave something that you truly miss, man or woman, you're going to go no holds barred - you're going to lay it all out and declare truthful, honest raw feelings. I've been there also. Hmmmm... food for thought.... after I left an xBF and then came back begging for forgiveness & i did really mean it at the time, I left him in the end.

 

This is going to be tricky for you. Just follow that gut reaction. It will NEVER lead you in the wrong direction. Don't question it. Don't mistrust it. It is your soul speaking to you. When you don't listen to it. You always get burned in the end.

[georgiagirl76]

Curly

Thanks for the advice however I promise you I am not about to profess any undying love for him at all. I realize that you haven't read my posts or know my story. I am just seeing him to get closure. I am very strong and I realize that he is possibly testing the waters. If you get a chance read some of my previous posts- I hope things are well for you

[francis]

hey GG, have u agreed to meet up with him?

 

he says he wants to meet up with you because he is feeling bad?

 

so it's your job suddenly to relieve him of any guilty feelings he may have?

 

don't do him any favours ok? and please please please don't let him get your hopes up...despite what you may say, you are bound to be feeling very mixed emotions about seeing him again for the first time. and i bet your stomach has butterflies.

 

let us know how it goes...we're all rooting for you. just please don't let this guy take you for a ride. i am guessing you don't suffer fools gladly, but don't let your heart cloud your judgement.

[georgiagirl76]

Francis

Thanks for the advice. I really am doing well. I don't have any grand illusions of us getting back together. I believe that it would be good closure for me to say a couple of things and finally get him to move his stuff out.

 

I am sure his motivation for wanting to see me isn't the best- I don't know why he wants to see me. He said that he felt bad that he hadn't called me but that was all he mentioned about feeling bad. Someone else mentioned that if he wanted to see me really bad he wouldn't have gone to the hockey game- sure that is true but I had plans Friday and Sat- and I had been gone all day from my computer and he imed me right when I logged in- it was almost 600 and he had to leave to go to the game.

 

Anyway- He text msged me yesterday a couple of times. This is the first day that I haven't had crazy plans but I have errands and cleaning to do so I am not even sure if I would see him now anyway.

 

I am happy. I realized that of course it hurts when someone you love breaks up with you- and you aren't supposed to want to love again right away. However, just as my heart mended and I allowed my ex-into my life- it will mend again. Time does heal and give you perspective. It helps that I know he went out on a date- and it helps that I went on a couple too. The person I went out with knows all about my healing and that I am not emotionally ready to jump into a relationship but he still enjoys my company. Therefore, it is good to get out as long as you don't lie to the other person and hurt them.

 

All of you who are still scared- and alone- it will get better. I was there and I am sure I will be there again. This process is crazy but this week I felt the best I had felt yet (and yes this was prior to him contacting me).

Hang in there

[francis]

Did you meet him GG?

[georgiagirl76]

We continued our communication all last week and he finally asked to see me yesterday. He came over and we talked for 4 hours and discussed a lot of things. We have decided to continue to see each other but keep things casual and continue to work on our individual issues.

 

It was a good conversation and when he left I felt positive about how it went and I finally feel like things will be ok whether or not we are going to end up together. I was surprised to not have any emotional withdrawl after he left or have any negative feelings of fear or regret.

 

All in all it was a positive experience. I am just going to see how things go. A new option opened up for him with is career and he has considered getting out of the army and doing something else. We are going to go out on his birthday in a couple of week but we aren't back together and I am not really waiting for that. I feel secure and healthy and I am glad that we were able to see each other and talk about things that were unresolved before.

 

Thanks again for all of your support. I no longer pine after him or cry about it. I was also surprised that I wasn't overwhelmed with a desire to be with him again. It was like a first meeting of a new person. It was fun and interesting. I have peace now and that is all I ever wanted. I hope all of you find it as well.