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Was She Just Being (Very) Nice?


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Around a year ago, I was in an elevator with a co-worker. After pressing the button she looked at me with an honest smile that lasted an entire ride (about 15 seconds). We spoke a few words.

And a couple of months later, as I was coming out of a room and she was walking across the corridor she literally stopped to say hi to me. I happened to be going her direction.

I had known her for about a year when I had these encounters, and before then, we kind of treated each other like co-workers. So, it seemed kind of sudden that she had behaved this way toward me. 

I had never had these encounters before (especially with a girl). So, part of me likes to think that she was showing interest (or at the very least curiosity). But just as equally part of me thinks that she's just being very nice and nothing more.

I don't know.

Was she just being very nice to me or was there something a bit more to it?

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It sounds ordinary. I’m afraid you’re reading into something that is not there. 

Keep your interactions with office staff professional. 

Try mingling with others outside of the office in more social settings. You’ll start to get a better read of people that way. 

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dramafreezone
1 hour ago, WildStriker said:

Around a year ago, I was in an elevator with a co-worker. After pressing the button she looked at me with an honest smile that lasted an entire ride (about 15 seconds). We spoke a few words.

And a couple of months later, as I was coming out of a room and she was walking across the corridor she literally stopped to say hi to me. I happened to be going her direction.

I had known her for about a year when I had these encounters, and before then, we kind of treated each other like co-workers. So, it seemed kind of sudden that she had behaved this way toward me. 

I had never had these encounters before (especially with a girl). So, part of me likes to think that she was showing interest (or at the very least curiosity). But just as equally part of me thinks that she's just being very nice and nothing more.

I don't know.

Was she just being very nice to me or was there something a bit more to it?

Well, it sounds like she's just being nice. 

Even if she was interested, it's irrelevant given how long ago these incidents happened.  She may have been digging you *That day* or that hour or that minute but it doesn't mean much about how she feels today.  I've had women flirt with me in the moment but I think it just applies to how she's feeling in that moment.  It doesn't necessarily mean that she's interested now, things change over time, she may have a BF, or a fiancee'.  Or maybe she saw you pick your nose at a red light and that turned her off completely.

That said, what do I know?  Ask her out and you'll have your answer.

Edited by dramafreezone
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2 hours ago, dramafreezone said:

Well, it sounds like she's just being nice. 

Even if she was interested, it's irrelevant given how long ago these incidents happened.  She may have been digging you *That day* or that hour or that minute but it doesn't mean much about how she feels today.  I've had women flirt with me in the moment but I think it just applies to how she's feeling in that moment.  It doesn't necessarily mean that she's interested now, things change over time, she may have a BF, or a fiancee'.  Or maybe she saw you pick your nose at a red light and that turned her off completely.

That said, what do I know?  Ask her out and you'll have your answer.

I've been known to flirt with someone one day, and then think better of it and decide I'm not interested in pursuing anything with that person, so whatever interest I may have shown that day, is not there the day (or whatever) after. 

 

To me, it seems she was just being nice. 

Maybe she was feeling particularly friendly that day! 

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  • 2 weeks later...

Dude! There are plenty of women outside the workplace. Getting involved with co-workers is not in anyone's best interest. If things end up not working out, you will be forced into seeing someone with whom you had a failed relationship with. It will be uncomfortable for you and for her. 

Over the course of my life - tempted as I've been - I have avoided workplace romances like the plague. I can't boast about having witnessed many workplace romances gone bad. I've only witnessed one up close and in person, and it was not pretty. The environment became so toxic, so drama-filled, that several people (myself included) left the company in search of a more professional work environment. That aside, I have heard stories of disastrous workplace romances gone horribly bad.   

As others have mentioned, keep things professional with your co-workers. 

 

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It's ok to have a crush, but there's nothing going on except working in the same place. 

Get a good profile and pics on quality dating apps and start talking to and meeting women for a low-key coffee .

Join some groups, clubs and get involved in sports and fitness. Volunteer. 

Round out your life outside of work. It's not a good idea to get fixated on a fantasy about a coworker.

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