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is it too soon to get in touch with her?


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My first love and I were together for around 3 years before we broke up about 7 years ago, it was a mutual break up as we were quite young and things fizzled out. During the time we were apart she did have a 2 year relationship shortly after she left but that she got cheated on. She did add me on social media a few years after we lost touch but I removed her after a few days as I tried to stay away from her as I was still healing, I then found out she got engaged around 6 months after that. In that time I was in another relationship which turned toxic so I left that and now I'm single. My ex however (my first love) did end up getting married but now I have found out she has got divorced recently about 3 months ago I think.

I am guessing she's single now if the divorce is fresh, I know its a long shot but she was my first love and I never really forgot about her, even though we haven't been in touch for years do you think there could still be a chance for us to be together again? I've been thinking about her a lot, so much that I end up dreaming about her! Should I try adding her on social media, if so how long should I wait? I have found out that one of her friends is getting married to one of my cousins and the wedding is next month, chances are I will end up seeing her. I really want to get in touch with her but feel so nervous, what should I do?

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18 minutes ago, smani111 said:

and now I'm single. Should I try adding her on social media, if so how long should I wait?

Sure add her on social media, why not? Why would she be at your cousin's wedding?

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By the sounds of it she'd probably already be in another relationship but eh , you can ad her , why not , break some ice. And then you'll probably end up talking to her at the wedding it's her friend so she'll be there.

The bigger thing is , just supposing you did get back with her , do you think it'd work this time , long term , honestly ?

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On 2/6/2022 at 6:33 PM, smani111 said:

we haven't been in touch for years do you think there could still be a chance for us to be together again?

It's impossible to say. 

You haven't spoken in a very long time, and people grow and change. Maybe she'd be interested, or maybe she's long since moved on. Go ahead and add her on social media. Strike up a friendly conversation, and see if she is receptive.Take it from there. 

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Make up your mind. You already told this person at Christmas that you didn’t want any contact, calling her toxic several times in an earlier thread. 

From the sounds of things contacting her again on social media isn’t a good idea. You’re responding to feelings of loneliness and loss.

If you see her at the wedding ask her how she’s doing and remain friendly. It’s a wedding after all. Catch up there in person and don’t play games with push/pull or hot/cold online or through social media. 

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My first love and I were together for around 3 years before we broke up about 8 years ago, it was a mutual break up as we were quite young and things fizzled out. During the time we were apart she did have a 2 year relationship shortly after she left but that she got cheated on.  She did add me on social media a few years after we lost touch but I removed her after a few days as I tried to stay away from her as I was still healing, I then found out she got engaged around 6 months after that. In that time I was in another relationship which turned toxic so I left that and now I'm single. My ex however (my first love) did end up getting married but now I have found out she has got divorced recently about 7 months ago I think.  I am guessing she's single now if the divorce is fresh, I know its a long shot but she was my first love and I never really forgot about her, even though we haven't been in touch for years. I've been thinking about her a lot. Should I try adding her on social media, if so how long should I wait? I know a relationship with her is probably a probably not going to happen but I am curious whether she still thinks of me in a positive way as we parted on good terms.  I know a relationship is highly unlikely with her and I don't really have high hopes of that, but could there be anything negative coming from me adding her?  The only thing is her ex husband is a family friend of mine, I'm not really that close to him but we do know each other so I'm hoping that doesn't make things awkward.  Is it worth adding her on social media?

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Leave the past in the past. Keep your eye on dating in real time. No one you date wants to see exes from decades ago on your social media. Focus on your future, not the past.

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