Darkest Place I have ever been.

[harrisratx]

I'm in such a dark place right now. I think this is one of the most tragic situations I've ever been in my life and I don't know how to get through it so I want to tell everyone the story of what I thought was true love but ended up being the most painful experience in my life.

 

It started with Facebook dating the app is fantastic! I had many updates but none really panned out to what I was really looking for until I met my ex. I matched with a beautiful redhead 37-year-old and instantly had a crush on her. She was perfect in every way that I could see and we went fast. We had an amazing first month together and things just seemed so perfect. 

 

So after dating for a month we decided to move in together however I had to move 45 minutes south so that she was close to her grandmother that of what she lived with for a majority of her life. I didn't know anyone South but I didn't care she was everything I ever wanted.

 

Was it the first two nights of living together she physically abused me punching me in the face multiple times out of anger. I just told myself it was the alcohol and that it wasn't really who she was. Nights like this continued for weeks after we moved in together until one night where she broke an ottoman tray over my head. That was the point that I knew I had to walk out. I blood gushing from my head and I had send pictures to my mom just to protect me just in case she blamed me for whatever reason. When I started walking out the door she begged and pleaded me to stay. She then tell me that she had nothing to live for and then she was going to kill herself. I turned around and asked her what in the world she was talking about it was just going to go stay at my parents for the night I wasn't leaving her. By that time it was too late she had slit her wrist and blood was going everywhere. I panicked and called 911 held pressure on her wound. I was in pure shock. The police took her off to mental facility for a 72 hour hold. They extended that 72-hour hold to 7 days which I was there for her every step of the way and she called me every night tell me her progress I was so happy that she was getting better and from that point I figured things would change. When she got out I took her on a long vacation things were great. 

 

We had had fights here and there but nothing like we used to after the next couple months. And then she got pregnant 8 months in her relationship. She became extremely distant didn't even want to talk to me hardly wanted me cuddle her our sex life went down. And I just figured it was the pregnancy hormones. 

 

Are one year anniversary hit we had amazing night and it felt like everything was rekindled. The next morning she was texting the number that wasn't saved in her phone and all I did was asked who was I wasn't upset I wasn't being nosy I was just conversating. She got so defensive that she stood up telling me that I'm very insecure and I don't trust her at all starting a full-blown fight. Knowing what we went through in the past I descalated the situation that said I'm going to go to work for my until lunch and then reconvene afterwards and talk about it.

 

When I got back to the apartment her grandma had had already most of everything packed up. And that she was leaving me. After that she'd go to me ghosted me for a month. I didn't know what to do. I tried contacting her and all sorts of fashions but she had me blocked on everything so email is the only communication I had. I begged and I pleaded her to not keep my son away after he was born. Months went by she would unblock me talk to me for a day or two and then re-blocked me telling me that I haven't changed a bit. This cycle continued all the way up until January.

 

Then she called me the day before my son was born telling me she wanted me to be at the hospital. I told her of course I want to be. She went into labor the next day at 3:50 in the morning I didn't hear my phone go off at a early meeting and I didn't expect it to happen this fast as the due date was 2 weeks later. 

 

She went off on me sending me pictures of my son early in the morning saying I was a piece of s*** for not showing up to the hospital and then she doesn't want me to have anything to do with my son and I don't love my son it killed me. 

 

After about 2 hours she called me and told me she wanted me to come to the hospital so I did I went and stayed with her for 2 days. And everything was fantastic. I fell in love with my son immediately and I felt a bond that I never felt before in my life. Her and I were getting along great. Then right before I left the hospital to go to a meeting she told me that she was not going to name my son after my last name and that she was going to use her last name after we agreed that we were going to hyphenate. I didn't understand it I was confused because we had a mutual agreement but she said her family said that they don't want my name associated with my son. 

 

So she kicked me out of the hospital after disagreeing with her. After being kicked out I wasn't put on the birth certificate nor did I sign the aop cuz I didn't have a chance to. 

 

It has now been 3 weeks since my son has been born and have not seen him since I have tried numerous attempts to get a hold of her and try to work things out. I want to be with this woman more than anything but I know that she is a narcissist and that she's trying to put all blame on me I don't know what to do from here. I can't afford to pay for retainer for a lawyer and I know that the minute I get a DNA test and I'm put on the birth certificate I owe child support from that point forward which is 17% of my income again something else I can't afford. My lawyers that I've talked to so that gives me zero rights whatsoever and that they can still withhold my son from me after I even pay child support. 

 

I am literally hurting the most I've ever heard in my life I've literally thought about suicide this woman was the love of my life and I don't know what happened we had so many great times together we talked about how we're going to build this family together and then all the sudden she disappears. If anyone has any advice for me please share. I have never been this love of my entire life and she seems so happy without me in her life. 

 

I really wish I could afford a lawyer we could have a love to have custody of my son I want to be a part of my son's life and I'm done everything I can to be a part of my son's life but I'm getting nowhere no responses from her or her family. 

[Wiseman2]

Go to a physician and discuss your suicidal thoughts and depression. Ask for a referral to a qualified therapist for ongoing support. 

As far as your son, if she wants child support, you'll hear from the courts and they will order a paternity test if you contest it.

As far as visitation, you need to get your physical and mental health in order first.

[ExpatInItaly]

I'm sorry, OP. You have been through a lot. 

My first thought is that the baby might not even be yours and she knows it. I would absolutely do what you need to do to determine paternity. There are a lot of red flags in her behaviour which make me very skeptical that you are the father. 

3 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

Go to a physician and discuss your suicidal thoughts and depression. Ask for a referral to a qualified therapist for ongoing support. 

And please, follow this advice. Especially for therapy. This unstable and abusive woman has taken a huge toll on you, and you would benefit from additional support as you navigate the next steps.