Katt466 Posted February 7, 2022 Share Posted February 7, 2022 Hey, I'm looking for some advice My bf and I have been together just over 3 years, I'm 24 and he's 25. He is pretty much settled in his career and has been hinting at buying a house for a while. I want a job to do with languages and would love to work abroad (to improve my skills) before committing to buying a house. I communicated this to him in the past but not recently, and he keeps suggesting careers to me that aren't really related. He wants to buy a house soon because he hates living at home.. I have also said before about not being ready to buy because I want to travel. I'm just always very uncomfortable around the subject because I don't want to lose him and do want a future with him. I would also like to buy but just not yet, but I don't want to hold him back. I have wanted to travel for ages but am concerned he won't think I'm serious about our relationship if I want to go off travelling.. the whole situation makes me feel so anxious which is why I avoid talking about it but now I actually want to start looking for jobs. any advice would be appreciated!! Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted February 7, 2022 Share Posted February 7, 2022 He should definitely go ahead and buy a house since he has worked for it and is ready to handle a mortgage. You too should go work abroad if that is what you've dreamed of. If you two were meant to be together then you will be. If you don't do these things you've always dreamed of on your timeline you will forever regret it. I know people who are full of regrets for not following their dreams because of a relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted February 7, 2022 Share Posted February 7, 2022 15 minutes ago, Katt466 said: Hey, I'm looking for some advice My bf and I have been together just over 3 years, I'm 24 and he's 25. He is pretty much settled in his career and has been hinting at buying a house for a while. I want a job to do with languages and would love to work abroad (to improve my skills) before committing to buying a house. I communicated this to him in the past but not recently, and he keeps suggesting careers to me that aren't really related. He wants to buy a house soon because he hates living at home.. I have also said before about not being ready to buy because I want to travel. I'm just always very uncomfortable around the subject because I don't want to lose him and do want a future with him. I would also like to buy but just not yet, but I don't want to hold him back. I have wanted to travel for ages but am concerned he won't think I'm serious about our relationship if I want to go off travelling.. the whole situation makes me feel so anxious which is why I avoid talking about it but now I actually want to start looking for jobs. any advice would be appreciated!! You’ll both have to face this head on and communicate better. Please don’t pretend with your partner. Decide what you want for yourself first and then do it. Be kind to one another and absolutely pursue your dreams. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted February 7, 2022 Share Posted February 7, 2022 40 minutes ago, Katt466 said: He wants to buy a house soon because he hates living at home.. It's his responsibility to work as many jobs and improve his credit to be able to find and afford a place. He's looking for a bank, not a commitment. Follow your dreams and do not get into a house deal with someone who is making no commitment to you whatsoever . Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted February 11, 2022 Share Posted February 11, 2022 (edited) Whoa there. It's absolutely NOT your responsibility to cast away your dreams just because he "hates living at home". If he wants to move out (and he really should, if he's an adult), he has plenty of other options: Save up enough to afford the deposit and mortgage on his own If he can't (which is fairly normal if he's young), he can RENT a place first If he can't even afford to rent a place of his own, he can rent a place with roommates It's kind of bizarre to me that he's putting all of this on you rather than doing what he can to improve his own situation. You are 24, you have your whole life ahead of you. I can 100% guarantee you that if you give up your dreams and buy a house with him (and presumably proceed to get married, "settle down", have kids etc), you are going to regret it. Heck, some women eventually regret settling down in their early 20s even if that's what they thought they wanted at that time... if you already know that's not you want, it'll be a recipe for disaster to go that route. Edited February 11, 2022 by Elswyth Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts