scobro Posted October 22, 2005 Share Posted October 22, 2005 I feel right now that I will never be in a relationship again.Its so frustrating I cannot even think about dating right now I would be a mess yet if I never date someone I will not get in another relationship.I know it takes time but during that time you feel alone and lost with such low self esteem and no confidence at all(what a turn on for females).I am usually out going, can attract women but now since my wife basically ended our marriage and is now even dating l just feel like there is no hope and angry that my wife isn't in pain and going through termoil like me.Its a catch 22 you want a new relationship right away to fill that void but it is the worst thing to possibly do.Does everyone go through this after a separation or break-up? Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted October 22, 2005 Share Posted October 22, 2005 everybody feels the way you do that goes thru a breakup.. It is temporary and all part of grieving.. It will all come back we you are ready for it to. Link to post Share on other sites
helena abadi Posted October 22, 2005 Share Posted October 22, 2005 we all go thru this, feel like ****, run between anger and despair, suffer from low self-esteem and intense loneliness and want someone straight away to fill the void, especially when the ex is dating already. and damn, you want to hurt them back so badly. it's a grieving process and the key word is process. it has to be worked thru. some people take longer than others. be assured, it too shall pass. and be reassured you are not alone. most of us have been there in spades. Link to post Share on other sites
Trimmer Posted October 22, 2005 Share Posted October 22, 2005 scobro - yes, I feel that way, too. After the love of my life decided I wasn't good enough, why in the world would anyone else ever want me again? I decided a couple of things: (1) everyone will get what they deserve, eventually, but for anyone other than me, that's out of my hands. Whether she ends up happy, or in an emotional train-wreck, or anything inbetween, I'm already moving on; (2) the only person I have control over is myself, so my first goal is to make sure that I become the person that I enjoy being. So the seemingly trite advice that we give so often around here: "take this time to work on yourself" is really important - this is the bridge to your future. (3) If I accomplish #2, this will automatically make me much more attractive to potential dates/partners/etc... (as opposed to being, say, a morose, brooding wreck who spends my time imagining my XW miserably regretting what she "did to me"...) So, my thing is, it may take a while to climb out of my hole here, but I'm going to use that time enjoying putting some energy into myself (#2). And the result of that, I hope will be #3, which I accept will be a ways down the road, but that is probably just as well for now. (P.S. XW may well be going through that turmoil you would wish on her, but she would certainly go to any lengths to hide that from you. My thoughts in my situation are, if she's really troubled over this and hiding it, then at least she's burdened with some kind of remorse. If not, then WOW, she's colder than I ever imagined, and that thought is just one more thing that helps me move forward with my "new life.") Link to post Share on other sites
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