Cindee Posted February 12, 2022 Share Posted February 12, 2022 I went on a date with a guy from online that is 8 years younger. He is 47, I am 54. His dating profile said he wants a longterm partner. In public and in pubs he would kiss me, hold my hand. After intimacy, he said he actually doesnt wabt a relationship. He told me we have a passion thats hard to find intimately. After being intimate with him several times,staying overnight with him he then said he wants kids. What the hell! I cant have kids! He said we can "just connect" until one of us finds what we want. Seriously? Most guys who just want a FWB are not kissy kissy and holding hands in public, they usually don't want anyone to know!. He tells me all the time he misses me and asks me to come spend the night with him. Finally I said no its best to cut it off, since you want kids and there is no potential, I don't want to get hurt. Now he's mad! I don't understand. He lied to start with on his profile, and is always online looking...sorry but O am not ok with that. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted February 12, 2022 Share Posted February 12, 2022 4 hours ago, Cindee said: Most guys who just want a FWB are not kissy kissy and holding hands in public, they usually don't want anyone to know!. Eh, not necessarily, no. Lots of people who are FWBs are fine being affectionate wherever, whenever. I had a lovely FWB for a while a few years ago. We spent time with his friends and mine, he was openly affectionate with me. But there was no emotional attachment on either end. Listen to what he's telling you: he doesn't want a relationship with you (but is fine have sex and enjoying your company until he meets the woman he wants to date) Who cares if he's mad? You made the right choice cutting this off. Let him pout all he wants. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted February 12, 2022 Share Posted February 12, 2022 5 hours ago, Cindee said: Most guys who just want a FWB are not kissy kissy and holding hands in public, they usually don't want anyone to know. Sorry this happened. How long have you been dating? He's crystal clear that he doesn't want a relationship, just good sex. It's a misconception that FWB can't be affectionate in public. Either way he's very clear about this being casual. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
dramafreezone Posted February 12, 2022 Share Posted February 12, 2022 13 hours ago, Cindee said: After being intimate with him several times,staying overnight with him he then said he wants kids. What the hell! I cant have kids! He said we can "just connect" until one of us finds what we want. Well there you have it. Ultimately he wants kids and wants you as a FWB. It seems like you already know that this isn't going to go anywhere. Don't make the mistake of thinking that he wants anything more than what he's said or that he'll change his mind. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted February 12, 2022 Share Posted February 12, 2022 13 hours ago, Cindee said: I went on a date with a guy from online that is 8 years younger. He is 47, I am 54. His dating profile said he wants a longterm partner. In public and in pubs he would kiss me, hold my hand. After intimacy, he said he actually doesnt wabt a relationship. He told me we have a passion thats hard to find intimately. After being intimate with him several times,staying overnight with him he then said he wants kids. What the hell! I cant have kids! He said we can "just connect" until one of us finds what we want. Seriously? Most guys who just want a FWB are not kissy kissy and holding hands in public, they usually don't want anyone to know!. He tells me all the time he misses me and asks me to come spend the night with him. Finally I said no its best to cut it off, since you want kids and there is no potential, I don't want to get hurt. Now he's mad! I don't understand. He lied to start with on his profile, and is always online looking...sorry but O am not ok with that. So stick to that. You are not ok with the arrangement. He was simply in it for sex and some PDA. That happens and not that unusual. Unfortunately you had hoped he would want the same thing as you. He turned out to want something different and treats you as a fwb. Block the contact and leave this alone. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cindee Posted February 12, 2022 Author Share Posted February 12, 2022 Yes I agree and have.. He lied on his dating profile saying he wants a LTR. I hate dishonesty Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted February 12, 2022 Share Posted February 12, 2022 4 minutes ago, Cindee said: He lied on his dating profile saying he wants a LTR. I hate dishonesty He may want a LTR just not with you. Pay less attention to profile and more attention to in person interaction and how someone treats you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted February 12, 2022 Share Posted February 12, 2022 10 minutes ago, Cindee said: Yes I agree and have.. He lied on his dating profile saying he wants a LTR. I hate dishonesty It may have been a ruse but it may be the truth too. You may not have been the person he thinks is compatible with him in a longer term relationship. Take your sweet time getting to know someone over a longer period. True colours will come through as is the case here. Don’t hang onto any ill feelings. Be free to pursue other matches with an open heart and clear eyes. Link to post Share on other sites
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