My boyfriend hit me. I want to leave, but we share a lease.

[AshelyB78007]

Hey guys! Really need some advice.

So my bf and I were in a very heated argument (ALL we do is argue) and it ended in him hitting me! Naturally, I was very shocked as he’s never touched me violently before. We’ve been together 4 years and that was my number ONE deal breaker.

Ever since, I haven’t been feeling like myself. I’ve felt helpless, disrespected, violated, and completely drained of any power I thought I had.

I didn’t call the cops because I knew they’d just tell me I can’t put him out, Although I don’t know the exact laws here in Illinois. So I’m REALLY torn about what to do. Don’t get me wrong, I know I need to leave, but I’m in a lease and it’s not up until August & he refuses to leave.

I’m so tired of this situation that I truly have a half-mind to just pack all my things and leave and worry about my broken lease later. Maybe I could talk to the Landlord and work out some kind of arrangement? But I just know I need to leave. I feel stuck!!!

Edited February 15, 2022 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
clarify title, paragraphs

[Wiseman2]

2 hours ago, AshelyB78007 said:

Maybe I could talk to the Landlord and work out some kind of arrangement? 

Talk to your landlord about getting out of the lease. If you had called the police you could get a restraining order and he would have to leave.

Go to a physician for an exam. Explain what happened. You need objective documentation.

[ExpatInItaly]

3 hours ago, AshelyB78007 said:

Maybe I could talk to the Landlord and work out some kind of arrangement?

This is exactly what I would do, today. 

I am really sorry you're in this situation. You are right to be looking for ways to get out immediately. Can you stay with a friend or family member in the meantime, so you don't need to be under the same roof as your boyfriend? 

Edited February 15, 2022 by ExpatInItaly

[glows]

Yes, speak with your landlord in private and arrange to stay with a friend or family member.

Leaving an abusive relationship is hard. Most individuals attempt to leave several times and fail. What you’re describing is violent and abusive. Don’t try to rationalize the abuse. 

[stillafool]

I agree to tell your landlord that you are being physicall abused by your bf and you no longer feel safe staying there.  You need to make arrangements to go home to your parents or somewhere else.  Be forewarned that once they hit you it will happen again.  Especially since you are staying there after it happened is like giving them a green light to go ahead.  I don't care that this is the first time, it now will not be the last time he hits you.   As you can see he won't even honor your request for him to leave.  Can he afford the place on his own?

[FMW]

Talk to your Landlord and see if they will voluntarily remove you from the lease. 

If not, consult an attorney.  Illinois does have a provision for breaking a lease due to domestic violence (765 ILCS 750/5), but again, consult an attorney.  

[AshelyB78007]

3 hours ago, stillafool said:

Can he afford the place on his own?

No! He cannot. If I were to leave, he’d have to leave as well but that would be the only way he would

Edited February 15, 2022 by AshelyB78007

[spiritedaway2003]

1 hour ago, AshelyB78007 said:

No! He cannot. If I were to leave, he’d have to leave as well but that would be the only way he would

That would be the consequences of his action.  Do not stay in a relationship where you were physically hit.  Chances are high that it will happen again.