Chantis Posted August 2, 2021 Share Posted August 2, 2021 (edited) I have been in a relationship for about a few months with this guy and already going crazy for me. When we hung out the first time the chemistry was very high on both ends. He pursued me alot and I decided to go ahead and give it a go. I had been single for about 5 years so this was new to me. Things were goin good for the first month and next thing I know it started going down hill. My intuition about him started to et really bad. However I ignored it smh thats completely my fault. I just thought I was tripping or something. We had little disagreements and absolutely EVERTHING he would make it seem like it was all my fault. When I voiced my concerns he would make it seem like its all me and I was the "crazy" one. Fast foward to what went on this past weekend. We hung out and stayed the night together. I wanted to talk to him about him being on a dating app that I saw in person so I waited to bring it up then. I had my proof that he was active because, he matched with one of my close friends not even knowing (my friend never met him yet or seen a picture). Of course he lied right to my face looking me right in my eyes. He said he was not active on there and that he "didn't know how to delete the bumble app" lol i honestly started laughing because that was such a lie and he actually believed himself when he said it. I wasn't mad and I asjed him in a calm voice and he STILL lied. I try to let it go and enjoy the rest of the evening with him. (BIG MISTAKE). so we are chilling and he is sleeping and I am watching TV. I get up and go to the restroom and his phone is right there on the nightstand. I looked to see the time and BOOM I see a whole lot of notifications. I am not the type to snoop because I feel whats done in the dark will come to light (literally). I was honestly looking at the time because his phone was right there on the nightstand charging and my phone was on the table across the room. So back to the notifications. I saw the names if 3 different women their names are burnt into my head. [ ] What was shocking to me was one girl text 16 times, another 2 times, and another 4 times. He had 17 missed calls and 7 facetimes. I was appalled to say the least. I put his phone back down and went to the restroom. I tried my best to be calm. I went outside to get some fresh air and calm down. I guess me mving around woke him up and he asked where I was going. I played it cool and said I just needed some air. When I came back 10 mins later he locked the door. lol. (maybe to call one of them back who knows) so I knock and he says "he didn't mean to lock the door" smh wow. I really didn't even bring it up to him I was just ready to go home. My head started to ache I just left. My vibe and sprit was off. The next day of course he flips it on me. I'm sure he knows I saw the notifications. I still did not say anything. He starts to try to blame me for leaving, he blamed me for saying he never took me on a real deal date just a bunch of stuff. I even tried to open up to him and he dismissed me and my feelings at this point what should I even do. I dont even look at him the same anymore. I need help. Edited August 10, 2021 by a LoveShack.org Moderator removed user names of people on dating app Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted August 2, 2021 Share Posted August 2, 2021 You’ve been dating for a few months and you’ve found out he’s shady and manipulative. Delete and block his contact. This is someone you barely know and what you know is not worth debating or having a conversation with. He’s a grown man and if he believes his behaviour passes it’s not on you to teach him it doesn’t. Simply remove and move past this. Consider anything physical or items accidentally left at his place for instance a write off. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted August 2, 2021 Share Posted August 2, 2021 You know he's a liar, seeking other women and gaslighting you. End it, period. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted August 2, 2021 Share Posted August 2, 2021 1 hour ago, Chantis said: Things were goin good for the first month and next thing I know it started going down hill End it immediately. There's no reason to tolerate any of these antics and jerk moves. Tell him it's not working then delete and block him from all your social media and messaging apps. Reflect on why you put up with this for this long. 3 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 3, 2021 Share Posted August 3, 2021 The title of your thread doesn't make any sense. What do you mean you don't know what to do? The chemistry may be "crazy" but this man is lying to you, cheating on you & gas lighting you. He also locked you out. How do you not know it's time to dump him? Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted August 5, 2021 Share Posted August 5, 2021 On 8/2/2021 at 2:51 PM, Chantis said: he lied right to my face looking me right in my eyes. He said he was not active on there and that he "didn't know how to delete the bumble app" You like being with a liar? Quote I need help. Dump him and keep move away from him. He's a liar. You don't need that in your life. He will age you and spit you out looking 40 years older than you really are behind his lying. Never give liars a second chance to lie. EVER. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted August 5, 2021 Share Posted August 5, 2021 You need help? It's a no brainer darlin, you need to drop kick him to da curb. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted August 6, 2021 Share Posted August 6, 2021 On 8/2/2021 at 8:51 PM, Chantis said: Things were goin good for the first month and next thing I know it started going down hill. My intuition about him started to et really bad. However I ignored it You have known almost from the beginning that you have a bad boyfriend. He's continued to prove it to you. Start believing the proof. He is not into you and not a good man. Get rid. He will walk sooner or later anyway. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted August 10, 2021 Share Posted August 10, 2021 I find this such a difficult thing, OP. Basically, people are going to have friends from online and most will still keep in touch with them when they have a girlfriend/boyfriend, particularly if they never planned to date them or if they were exs-now-turned-friends. The thing is, when are contacts on a phone a threat and when are they just friends that keep him amused every so often? There is always a threat of an emotional affair, because people get attached. This threat is there in real life too, with friends - again, it is hard to know where the person should be drawing the line. Do they cut off from all their friends and only keep in touch with same-sex friends? There is the threat of a physical affair. I think I would find it less concerning if the messages were less regular and were not video chat requests. Video chat seems a whole other level of intimacy to just writing a message. I think you have cause to worry. Your boyfriend locked the door on you and you don't believe it was an accident. That alone is a reason to split up. It shows you no longer trust him. It shows that he is thoughtless at least and hiding something at most. If you feel your partner's attention is focused more towards his female friends than you, then why are you still with him? Link to post Share on other sites
Caauug Posted August 15, 2021 Share Posted August 15, 2021 On 8/3/2021 at 2:51 AM, Chantis said: I have been in a relationship for about a few months with this guy and already going crazy for me. When we hung out the first time the chemistry was very high on both ends. He pursued me alot and I decided to go ahead and give it a go. I had been single for about 5 years so this was new to me. Things were goin good for the first month and next thing I know it started going down hill. My intuition about him started to et really bad. However I ignored it smh thats completely my fault. I just thought I was tripping or something. Congratulations, it looks like you dated a top 10%er.... Roughly: 80% of the women seek the top 10% of men. He's got no problems getting girls, you or the "Missed call and double texting ones". He doesn't have to settle for one because he has so many choices. The competition for him is too much while he is allowing it. Time to move on, he's not into oneitis at this point in his life. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Chantis Posted February 15, 2022 Author Share Posted February 15, 2022 (edited) I haven’t spoke to my gf in a day and a half and I was was worried about her. I found out that she was in the hospital during that time from her. She did call text and FaceTime me a whole lot the day she went in there telling me that she may have to stay and be admitted she texted me things that were wrong the day she went in. I didn’t get any calls or texts or FaceTime because I was sleep the whole time she was trying to contact me. When I called her back her phone was going right to voicemail. I felt neglected and I sent her some mean things to her phone. I felt ghosted. I even told her I was done in her voicemail. I broke it off with her. So the next day we didn’t talk at all because her phone was going right to voicemail. Then the day after was when I did finally speak to her. I broke it off with her and told her she needed to send me her hospital paperwork. She didn’t do it. So I left her. I get she tried to contact me while she was in there telling me what was going on but I was sleeping so I didn’t know. After all of this I get text from her aunt and sister telling me she is hurt by the break up. I don’t even know what to say back. I want to ask them if she was really in the hospital but I don’t wanna be too much. I don’t want to falsely accuse but still I wanna know. She tried to contact me but still. Am I wrong? Was it insensitive to ask for her hospital paperwork? Edited February 15, 2022 by Chantis Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted February 15, 2022 Share Posted February 15, 2022 17 minutes ago, Chantis said: told her she needed to send me her hospital paperwork. It's hard to believe you asked this. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Chantis Posted February 15, 2022 Author Share Posted February 15, 2022 1 hour ago, Wiseman2 said: It's hard to believe you asked this. I just wanted proof. I wanted to see. Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted February 28, 2022 Share Posted February 28, 2022 On 8/2/2021 at 1:51 PM, Chantis said: I have been in a relationship for about a few months with this guy and already going crazy for me. When we hung out the first time the chemistry was very high on both ends. He pursued me alot and I decided to go ahead and give it a go. he would make it seem like it was all my fault. he would make it seem like its all me 6 months later: On 2/15/2022 at 1:26 PM, Chantis said: I haven’t spoke to my gf in a day and a half and I was was worried about her. I even told her I was done in her voicemail. I broke it off with her. So the next day we didn’t talk at all because her phone was going right to voicemail. Then the day after was when I did finally speak to her. I broke it off with her and told her she needed to send me her hospital paperwork. She didn’t do it. So I left her. Wow, they changed sex and that didn't impact your relationship in any way... that's the real hidden story here. So which is it? Or is this a completely different person you're talking about? Trying to keep your story straight here... Link to post Share on other sites
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