Author Annama Posted March 20, 2022 Author Share Posted March 20, 2022 7 hours ago, stillafool said: This was childish and somewhat mean of him to do this to you. If he knew you guys had plans for the upcoming weekend to celebrate your b-day and then not to unblock you or reach out to you on that day but to wait until Monday was wrong. Had you broken up with him during that argument and you stated you didn't want to see him again I can understand why he did that. Is that what you did? No, absolutely not. But I was not pleasant. I was gutted to learn he found time to go out and eat. I do need to eat too. Couldnt he suggest that we have a quick bite together and continue on the weekend? No. He is not mind reader. Fair enough. I did raise my voice and said that ok good , go I have already made plans anyway. ( my best friend found out we are not meeting so offered we get pizza wine and a cake) when he asked me with whom...I said nevermind. This was it cause I had to go back to the office. My boss waited for me. I lost signal and he took it as I dropped phone on him I was going to call and explain it all after work but I was blocked by then. I wrote message but it wasnt delivered as I was blocked. If he would call me and ask on that Friday when he unblocked me, if we are meeting- we would be ok today. He returned his work project on Friday and was free. His anger and stubbornness didn't allow him to do the right thing Calling me on Monday was for me an insult. After all, it was my birthday weekend. Some time ago it took him 2 - 3 days to get over argument. Last time he extended for a week. Then I did tell him that if he is planning to disappear like that, he may actually just go. He cant check in and out. I am not innocent here. But couldn't' get over this. No apology. Only hey what was that about? You could call you know? You were not blocked all this time. Etc 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted March 20, 2022 Share Posted March 20, 2022 10 hours ago, Annama said: It sad he did not even try to contact me after the break up. Excellent. That means you are beginning to heal in peace without the background noise from an ex. Delete and block him and all his people from ALL your social media and messaging apps so you can continue to feel better. See a physician for an evaluation of your physical and mental health. Discuss the anxiety, depression and ask for a referral to a qualified therapist. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted March 20, 2022 Share Posted March 20, 2022 7 hours ago, Annama said: I am not innocent here. But couldn't' get over this. No apology. Only hey what was that about? You could call you know? You were not blocked all this time. Etc I don't think he treated your fairly. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Annama Posted March 27, 2022 Author Share Posted March 27, 2022 Really missing him. It is hard. It does not getting easier He is probably with someone new and happier Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted March 27, 2022 Share Posted March 27, 2022 1 hour ago, Annama said: Really missing him. It is hard. It does not getting easier He is probably with someone new and happier I don't know why you are missing him. You should be angry at him if anything. You didn't do anything so terrible that he should block you. He has not respect for you and you are here pinning for him. Even if he contacted you he should be met by a permanent Block to show him you have boundaries too. I hope you start caring more for yourself than him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Annama Posted March 27, 2022 Author Share Posted March 27, 2022 (edited) 1 hour ago, stillafool said: I don't know why you are missing him. You should be angry at him if anything. You didn't do anything so terrible that he should block you. He has not respect for you and you are here pinning for him. Even if he contacted you he should be met by a permanent Block to show him you have boundaries too. I hope you start caring more for yourself than him. Thank you Stillafool, but he sees this differently, he thought I dropped phone on him and that I got mad that he went out with his friends on my birthday ( apparently it was meant to be a quick bite and not a night out) In his mind, I acted crazy so he blocked me and later I decided to break up. It is hard. I hope it is just one of these weak days. Edited March 27, 2022 by Annama Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted March 27, 2022 Share Posted March 27, 2022 4 hours ago, Annama said: he thought I dropped phone on him and that I got mad that he went out with his friends on my birthday ( apparently it was meant to be a quick bite and not a night out) I doubt very much this is the reason he blocked you. Blocking you and breaking up was probably already on his mind. A man who actually wants you does not let you go so easily over something that can be cleared up in a couple of hours. He used this as his excuse to exit. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Annama Posted April 4, 2022 Author Share Posted April 4, 2022 I was blocked on whats app and it seems he unblocked me. He blocked me after I collected my stuff from his place and 2 months laters I am unblocked. I am not going to block him as to me this is unnecessary. Did he unblock me cause he is over me and indifferent about me now? Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted April 4, 2022 Share Posted April 4, 2022 We can't tell you why he unblocked you. However the fact that you're spending time thinking about it shows the usefulness of blocking. Had you blocked him, you wouldn't be writing about him now. 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted April 4, 2022 Share Posted April 4, 2022 23 minutes ago, Annama said: Did he unblock me cause he is over me and indifferent about me now? Whenever people upgrade or update devices/apps changes can occur. He is not signaling anything to you. If that were the case, he would contact you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Annama Posted April 4, 2022 Author Share Posted April 4, 2022 6 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: Whenever people upgrade or update devices/apps changes can occur. He is not signaling anything to you. If that were the case, he would contact you. I guess the fact that he is not contacting me, signalling me all I need to know Thank you 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted April 4, 2022 Share Posted April 4, 2022 1 hour ago, Annama said: I guess the fact that he is not contacting me, signalling me all I need to know This is why you need to block him. You say you feel it's unnecessary but you won't do it because you are holding on to hope that he contacts you and tries to make amends. This keeps you holding on and shows him that no matter what he does or how he acts you'll still be around waiting. You need to let him go. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted April 5, 2022 Share Posted April 5, 2022 Do you know that you can simply delete a contact on WhatsApp? You don't need to block them if you don't want to. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted April 5, 2022 Share Posted April 5, 2022 6 hours ago, Annama said: I guess the fact that he is not contacting me, signalling me all I need to know You very much need to work on your self-esteem. This man treated you like an afterthought, and you're still sitting here pining for him. What is wrong with this picture, Annama? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Annama Posted June 15, 2022 Author Share Posted June 15, 2022 Hey everyone, still struggling getting over break up. He told mutual friend what a shame that we ended. That he would consider being with me if I would contact him. Mutual friend had impression he doesnt see anything wrong in his behaviour blocking me etc he even almost forgot he blocked me. Month ago he texted me to remind me to use my bday gift ( beauty treatments) as there were expiring date on it. I thanked him for it. My best friend said that if i will comeback with him from my initiative, it all will be on his terms and 6 months apart will be wasted. I miss him. But he is not in a rush to make any amends Link to post Share on other sites
LeoEnki Posted June 15, 2022 Share Posted June 15, 2022 On 2/15/2022 at 9:48 PM, Annama said: I am over F 40 and my partner M is 50. We were together 3 years. Spending mostly weekends together and speak over the phone a few times a week. I always wanted more of it but for him it was a perfect amount. Passion, friendship and respect was there. I was happy but we didn't talk much about future as he was burned after rship that ended 2 years prior us. Recently was my birthday. 3 days later he had an important project to complete for his work. He was stressed about it. Although he did ask me if I am coming over on my birthday, I said its best he focuses on project and we can celebrate at the weekend. Cool He called to wish me happy birthday. I did say its odd I dont see you but I get it. He didnt comment. Later I called him and he announced he is going to have a bite with a few friends. I was gutted as I would love to have a bite with him on my birthday. We argued. He explained it was meant to be quick bite. I lost signal getting to a train and he thought I dropped phone on him. So he blocked me a moment later...for 4 days. Then contacted me on Monday after my birthday was over. He did not apologise. He was sure we will just carry on as normal. I said this is it. He sent me 2 text messages to reconsider but I did say I couldn't go through days like the ones I just experienced. He accepted. I am gutted. So this is it. In his mind I ended cause he went to eat with his friends. I am frustrated that he doesnt get it. Am I wrong ? From the male perspective, No, he was using you for sex. Thats it tbh. You did the right thing. Find a better guy. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted June 15, 2022 Share Posted June 15, 2022 27 minutes ago, Annama said: He told mutual friend what a shame that we ended. That he would consider being with me if I would contact him. Really? So he would "consider" being with you (how?) if "you" contact him. He will not go out of his way one bit to unblock and contact you, apologize, ask you back but if you contact him he will "consider" letting you back into his life. It's now 2 months later since you last posted and I'm sorry to hear that your self esteem has not risen to the point of never caring to hear from this fool again. Please raise your standards and realize you deserve better for yourself, don't you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Annama Posted June 15, 2022 Author Share Posted June 15, 2022 I was unblocked 2 months ago. Apparently,he also said to our friend, that after arguments mostly it was him who was making amends and I kept breaking up or threatened to break up. He is tired of being the one who always makes amends. I do have to admit that a few arguments across 3 years ended with me saying something along we don't have to be together, we can part ways any time. Its nothing to do with self esteem...I love this man. It hurts he would rather be alone than apologise. He doesnt think apology is required. At the time this was the action he took. Seemed right at the time. Gutted Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted June 15, 2022 Share Posted June 15, 2022 15 minutes ago, Annama said: Its nothing to do with self esteem...I love this man. It has everything to do with self-esteem. If you had healthy, high self-esteem, you wouldn't have accepted the way he treats you to begin with. You'd have hightailed it to find a man who can love you wholly and without reservation. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted June 15, 2022 Share Posted June 15, 2022 21 minutes ago, Annama said: I do have to admit that a few arguments across 3 years ended with me saying something along we don't have to be together, we can part ways any time. If this was going on, reflect and consider that you weren't compatible and are better off apart. Delete and block him and ALL his people from ALL your social media and messaging apps. Don't discuss this with his people are go by their hearsay. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Acacia98 Posted June 15, 2022 Share Posted June 15, 2022 Sounds like it was a low-key emotionally abusive relationship to me. It's worth asking yourself what previous experiences crushed your self-esteem so much that you don't seem to recognize that. Could we take a step back from your relationship with this guy and talk about your previous experiences? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Annama Posted June 15, 2022 Author Share Posted June 15, 2022 16 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said: It has everything to do with self-esteem. If you had healthy, high self-esteem, you wouldn't have accepted the way he treats you to begin with. You'd have hightailed it to find a man who can love you wholly and without reservation. I left because he blocked me after an argument. I left despite being deeply in love. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Annama Posted June 15, 2022 Author Share Posted June 15, 2022 1 minute ago, Acacia98 said: Sounds like it was a low-key emotionally abusive relationship to me. It's worth asking yourself what previous experiences crushed your self-esteem so much that you don't seem to recognize that. Could we take a step back from your relationship with this guy and talk about your previous experiences? Why would you say that? Overall it was a good relationship with deep friendship and a passion. Precious relationships were nothing out of ordinary. Run its course. I struggle with this one cause I love him. He said to me and to our friend he still loves me. But because I broke up he wont contact me. It has to come from me. On many posts here we see that men say, they wont contact their women cause women initiated break ups. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted June 15, 2022 Share Posted June 15, 2022 6 minutes ago, Annama said: He said to me and to our friend he still loves me. But because I broke up he wont contact me. It has to come from me. So why aren't you contacting him rather than questioning it? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Annama Posted June 15, 2022 Author Share Posted June 15, 2022 Cause he never apologised. So whats the point of break up for 6 months...if I will contact him? I may as well straight away forget. In his mind,time resolve everything. Link to post Share on other sites
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