Don't know what his intentions are and I am afraid of becoming just a fling.

[Alana1609_]

I started talking with a guy on December. At first, i was not expecting a lot since i just ended a relationship in November. He lives about 1 hour and half away from my city so at first we were just chatting and watching tv shows from a distance. He was very sweet, texting all the time, saying he was excited to meet me and even joking about marriage, living together and that.

He came to my city on January and we just clicked so much. We spend the  whole afternoon together, we kissed and i ended up going home alone since he told me that he didn't want to give me the impression that he was just looking for sex.

What confuses me is that sometimes he gives me the impression that he is too sexual with his comments but he also has this sweet side, asking me about my day, how i slept or telling me that he wants to get to know me a lot more.

Last week he was jealous about me hanging out with a male friend and then the other day he was at a party and he drunk texted me asking me if i want him because he gets worried.

I don't know what should i do because he says that he is not looking only for sex and i am planning to visit him at his city next week. What is some advice, just go along and see what happens ?

[glows]

Are you staying with friends or staying at a hotel? You’ve only met this person once. 

Where do you see this distance/correspondence situation going?

You’ve recently ended a relationship. Even if the attention is nice or the thought of a rebound is tempting, be a bit more realistic with yourself. Maybe seeing someone from out of town as a distraction from a break up was great in theory but it’s not so great in reality. 

Is he also recently out of a relationship? 

Edited February 17, 2022 by glows

[ExpatInItaly]

Considering you two have had just one meet-up, I don't think you have anywhere near enough information to determine what he's after. 

So yes, go and see him and see what unfolds. Don't do anything you're not comfortable with, and don't stay at his house (if you were planning to stay over) You've been chatting a lot but he's still a stranger for all intents and purposes. Keep some perspective and let him show you where he'd like to see this go. 

[ExpatInItaly]

40 minutes ago, Alana1609_ said:

even joking about marriage, living together and that.

I just caught this. 

In my experience, this is usually not a great sign. I have yet to hear this "jokes" early on from men who were ready for a mature relationship. The ones who joked about things like this right out the gate were either rebounding or very insecure and trying to nail things down way too early (and dressing it up as a joke)

Whatever you do, I would proceed with caution. 

[Alana1609_]

23 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said:

Considering you two have had just one meet-up, I don't think you have anywhere near enough information to determine what he's after. 

So yes, go and see him and see what unfolds. Don't do anything you're not comfortable with, and don't stay at his house (if you were planning to stay over) You've been chatting a lot but he's still a stranger for all intents and purposes. Keep some perspective and let him show you where he'd like to see this go. 

Yes! i am trying to be careful  but i don't know. I was planning to stay with him, he told me that it was up to me but now i am not so sure because i do want to have sex with him but i also want more. 

I really hate this situation now 😞 haha. I just want to see him again.

[ExpatInItaly]

2 minutes ago, Alana1609_ said:

i do want to have sex with him but i also want more

Having sex early on is fine if both parties want to and consent, and you keep your expectations in check. Meaning, if you know get attached quickly when you have sex, it is generally not a good idea so early when you have no clue where things might be headed. If, however, you can enjoy sex without your emotions getting involved, then it shouldn't be an issue. 

Personally, I would not stay overnight at his house though. You don't know him. If something goes sideways or you start to feel uncomfortable for any reason, you're essentially stuck there until morning. I would not put myself in that situation with a dude I've only met once.