WIferret Posted February 19, 2022 Share Posted February 19, 2022 So… I found out my girlfriend and her ex have been talking occasionally. I’ve only noticed it was her ex because her body language changes, and she starts acting “weird” whenever she gets a message from her. She said they’re platonic, and send photos of the pets they shared as updates. Then she also said her ex sends photos of when they were together sometimes. am I overreacting by thinking this is completely disrespectful to our relationship? I’m not against exes being friends, but I think boundaries have been crossed. Link to post Share on other sites
Acacia98 Posted February 19, 2022 Share Posted February 19, 2022 (edited) 1 hour ago, WIferret said: her body language changes, and she starts acting “weird” whenever she gets a message from her. You should certainly be concerned. This suggests there are still feelings there. The fact that the truth of what they discuss is coming out in bits makes me wonder what else she'll reveal next time. It also makes me think your girlfriend is trying too hard to convince you (and herself?) that it's just platonic. You're not overreacting. Personally, I would walk (or start planning to walk) if I observed what you described in my relationship because if you don't have similar understandings of where boundaries lie, you're wasting each other's time. Edited February 19, 2022 by Acacia98 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted February 19, 2022 Share Posted February 19, 2022 4 hours ago, WIferret said: Then she also said her ex sends photos of when they were together sometimes. This is not good. Your girlfriend should have shut that down. The fact that she didn't spells trouble. So no, I don't think you are over-reacting. I'm sorry. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted February 19, 2022 Share Posted February 19, 2022 6 hours ago, WIferret said: She said they’re platonic, and send photos of the pets they shared as updates. Then she also said her ex sends photos of when they were together sometimes. How long have you been dating? How old is she? How long have they been broken up?. Why did they break up? It seems like she would rather be with him and unfortunately you're just filling space until they reconcile. Consider cutting your losses. It's not about being friends with an ex, it's about they're still too involved. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted February 19, 2022 Share Posted February 19, 2022 This is what they call unfinished business. Either firmly set boundaries or dump her. Link to post Share on other sites
aloneagain63 Posted March 1, 2022 Share Posted March 1, 2022 Is he married? in a relationship? I was cheated on quite a bit. Until you answer Wiseman2 questions, I would have trouble deciding on whether you have anything to worry about. In reading your story I did start feeling some alarms but without knowing the answer to many questions, they were low level alarms. Social media makes it too darned easy for people to make plans and make connections easily hidden from the spouse/mate. Sadly, it really doesn't seem to matter how the previous relationship ended. Women/men go back to cheaters, beaters, poor providers, etc I wouldn't advise walking away from this unless you have been together a very short time. This has created some friction and a bit of jealousy in you. That can be a good thing. It can spur you to be more attentive to her, take her out on a date/dinner. Take out the trash more often. I read some years ago that a bit of jealousy inspires you to work on a relationship in which you might have been taking it for granted. Just don't let the jealousy get beyond a bit. Good luck, Link to post Share on other sites
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