Mrs wants to split up after 30 years. Sexless for 3 years.

[Concernedman]

Mrs wants to split up after 30 years. Sexless for 3 years.

Says there's nobody else. I just found out she's started using a vaginally applied oestrogen. 

Does it mean what I think?

Edited February 23, 2022 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Title

[S2B]

So why not divorce her if she doesn’t intend to be married to you anymore,

[basil67]

Vaginally applied oestrogen is a form of HRT.  It helps to manage the discomfort of vaginal dryness, burning and itching. If you think it means she's menopausal, you'd be right.  Even for a woman who's not having sex, vaginal (and resulting vulval) dryness can be very uncomfortable. 

I'm sorry she's looking at leaving.  Tis time of life can be a catalyst for change. 

 

Edited February 22, 2022 by basil67

[Wiseman2]

11 hours ago, Concernedman said:

Mrs wants to split up after 30 years. . I just found out she's started using a vaginally applied oestrogen.

This is a prescription given to women for a host of menopausal problems. However you seem to be implying that she's cheating?

Have you talked to an attorney?  That's the first place to get some advice when the word divorce is mentioned.

What are the marital conflicts? Are the kids grown and out of the house?

Do you both work?

[mark clemson]

18 hours ago, Concernedman said:

Does it mean what I think?

Divorces are often highly emotionally charged situations. Although it's easier said than done, try to avoid making snap judgments and rushing to conclusions/decisions, this will probably only hurt you assuming a divorce proceeds.

The reasons she's leaving likely have more to do with how she feels about her life with you than with anything external. Even if there was someone else (which is what you seem to be implying without substantive evidence) that could easily be the end result of an extended process of emotionally detaching (ie, the whole 3 years without sex thing you mention) which it appears you were unable to address together.

While frustration is understandable, if she really wants to leave and/or be with someone else, you may ultimately have little say in the matter. People can turn corners in life and sometimes it's ultimately that simple, however one may feel about it or try to "fight" the situation.

Edited February 22, 2022 by mark clemson