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My boyfriend will NOT block his ex for some reason even though she harasses him DAILY!

Jennymato29

By Jennymato29,
in Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy

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Wiseman2

Wiseman2

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42 minutes ago, Jennymato29 said:

I’m dealing with a “you secretly love her” aren’t I? 

Yes. You are more focused on her than yourself, your life and your BF. 

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Jennymato29

Jennymato29

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2 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Yes. You are more focused on her than yourself, your life and your BF. 

That’s focusing on does he really love her. I just don’t feel like he has feelings for her. 

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Prudence V

Prudence V

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3 minutes ago, Jennymato29 said:

he has feelings for her

Unfinished business = feelings. If he felt nothing, she’d be ignored and blocked. 

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Jennymato29

Jennymato29

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16 minutes ago, Prudence V said:

Unfinished business = feelings. If he felt nothing, she’d be ignored and blocked. 

She’s ignored just not blocked 😞

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Wiseman2

Wiseman2

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9 minutes ago, Jennymato29 said:

Update: we argued about her. He said “I hid my story from her on Facebook. There you happy?”

And dating 60 days is usually bliss rather than all this and arguing.

Sadly your relationship is about their relationship, rather than the two of you.

Rethink all this. Has jealousy/insecurity been an issue in the past or is his obsession with her the cause of all this angst?

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Jennymato29

Jennymato29

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15 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

And dating 60 days is usually bliss rather than all this and arguing.

Sadly your relationship is about their relationship, rather than the two of you.

Rethink all this. Has jealousy/insecurity been an issue in the past or is his obsession with her the cause of all this angst?

So now he’s obsessed with her? How so? She initiates contact

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smackie9

smackie9

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2 hours ago, Jennymato29 said:

What is? 

He is fully and completely. His behavior, lies, his ex, and his continuation of being in contact with her, he watches her social media, etc. All of that and more is a deal breaker. 

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Jennymato29

Jennymato29

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3 minutes ago, iloya said:

 

you should considere that, is he trying to be polite to her? bec they know each other for 7 years.

Lol that’s the thing, they’re not polite to eachother lol

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smackie9

smackie9

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Being feisty, and mean to each other for some is sexual tension/passion...they been into it for 7 years....must be something there that keeps tuned into each other. 

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poppyfields

poppyfields

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Posted (edited)
4 hours ago, Jennymato29 said:

She’s not around tho.

Yes she IS around.  In his head and mostly like his heart, which is where it counts!

You must be aware of the expression "there is a thin line between love and hate"?    And between and anger and love?

People do not feel THAT level of anger and 'hate' towards their ex's unless something was happening (again in their heads and hearts) and there was still love there even if they're in denial about it.  They just wouldn't.  

They'd be indifferent towards each other, meaning, for him, he would either ignore and immediately send her messages to trash or block her.   

He is not blocking her OR ignoring her, he still engages with her even if it's just to say "please don't contact me again."  It's a way to keep their connection alive, no matter how dysfunctional their connection is

It doesn't matter that she initiated or whatever he tells you she said or does. 

He is still very much emotionally involved with her and since he still reads her stories on SM not to mention she's gorgeous, I would wager any amount of money he is still very much in love with her. 

It's a toxic love on both sides but it's a mistake  to try to justify it by saying she always initiates and he always says "please don't contact me."

If he really wanted no contact, he would NOT be asking her to stop contacting him, he would simply STOP contact himself. 

Not engage in any way, shape or form.

It's your choice OP.  You're a placeholder or rebound, second choice OR perhaps his only choice. 

If that's good enough for you, carry on.   

But my advice is be kinder to yourself, love yourself more.  You deserve so much better than this.

I'm sorry.

 

Edited by poppyfields
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stillafool

stillafool

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3 hours ago, Jennymato29 said:

That’s focusing on does he really love her. I just don’t feel like he has feelings for her. 

okay then why are you here?

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poppyfields

poppyfields

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>>I just don’t feel like he has feelings for her. 

I'm sorry I don't mean to offend, but given his reactions and overall behavior towards her, and towards you, you have much to learn about human nature and love and attraction in general.

Please refer to my previous post and that "thin line between love and hate."

Good luck.

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Jennymato29

Jennymato29

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Ugh I’m so mad! He just showed me where she messaged him “can we have means nothing sex? I just need a release” how degrading? She’s calculating and evil. He didn’t respond 

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smackie9

smackie9

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That means they had some real good make up sex. BTW asking for sex isn't mean or evil...rude maybe. This is music to a man's ears. It's probably giving him an ego boost. He's the one that's mean and evil for letting her still communicate with him don't ya think? A person in love wouldn't want to put their SO though such stress and anxiety. Your BF is letting it happen. He's the bad guy here. 

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Jennymato29

Jennymato29

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2 minutes ago, smackie9 said:

That means they had some real good make up sex. BTW asking for sex isn't mean or evil...rude maybe. This is music to a man's ears. It's probably giving him an ego boost. He's the one that's mean and evil for letting her still communicate with him don't ya think? A person in love wouldn't want to put their SO though such stress and anxiety. Your BF is letting it happen. He's the bad guy here. 

How would you feel if someone asked you to have sex because they had no one else to ask lol?

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Wiseman2

Wiseman2

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17 minutes ago, Jennymato29 said:

He just showed me where she messaged him “can we have means nothing sex? I just need a release” 

Why is he taunting you with all this? Obviously he has the hots for her and wants to throw that in your face. Ditch him.

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stillafool

stillafool

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27 minutes ago, Jennymato29 said:

Ugh I’m so mad! He just showed me where she messaged him “can we have means nothing sex? I just need a release” how degrading? She’s calculating and evil. He didn’t respond 

Yet.  So have you told him that this makes you uncomfortable and you want him to block her?  What did he say?

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Jennymato29

Jennymato29

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7 minutes ago, stillafool said:

Yet.  So have you told him that this makes you uncomfortable and you want him to block her?  What did he say?

He say “I never respond to her. I do only rarely. It’s not that serious”

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poppyfields

poppyfields

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37 minutes ago, Jennymato29 said:

Ugh I’m so mad! He just showed me where she messaged him “can we have means nothing sex? I just need a release” how degrading? She’s calculating and evil. He didn’t respond 

Why in the world is your boyfriend showing you what his ex messaged him?  About having sex with him no less?  WTH!

How utterly disrespectful is that?!   Is he wanting to rile you up?  It sure sounds like it.

Jennymato, no decent man would be showing his current girlfriend messages from an ex, of any nature, let alone a text saying she wants to have sex with him.

Please dump this "person," he's NOT a good boyfriend, he still has feelings for his ex and he is disrespectful to you.

 

 

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stillafool

stillafool

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6 minutes ago, Jennymato29 said:

He say “I never respond to her. I do only rarely. It’s not that serious”

What is his response when you've asked him to block her?

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poppyfields

poppyfields

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Posted (edited)

Did you ask him why the HECK he is showing you text messages from his ex telling him she wants to have sex with him?  That would be my first question.

I would be furious but NOT at her.

At HIM for having the insensitivity and disrespect to show me her messages in the first place and for not blocking her or otherwise getting rid of her.

Clearly, he is attempting to get a reaction from you, and that is just plain MEAN.

Edited by poppyfields
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