Author ILuvSunshine Posted March 3, 2022 Author Share Posted March 3, 2022 7 minutes ago, glows said: Can you express your emotions somewhere? Here or in a private journal? Keeping it in never works quite as well. I think you're doing great. Hang in there. Thank you Glow. I will try to come here every day and record every additional day I stay no contact. I wish there is a crystal ball that could tell me how many more days I need to be at a point when I his name doesn't hurt, I don't miss him anymore and I am finally happy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted March 3, 2022 Share Posted March 3, 2022 6 minutes ago, ILuvSunshine said: Thank you Glow. I will try to come here every day and record every additional day I stay no contact. I wish there is a crystal ball that could tell me how many more days I need to be at a point when I his name doesn't hurt, I don't miss him anymore and I am finally happy. You won't know until you go through it yourself and come out stronger on the other side. Everyone is different. I always found the first few days very difficult and then by the end of two weeks, my usual self. There is no one time line and from time to time it's not unusual to still think of an ex. As long as you realize that you need to move forward, you're on your way. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted March 3, 2022 Share Posted March 3, 2022 9 minutes ago, ILuvSunshine said: I wish there is a crystal ball that could tell me how many more days I need to be at a point when I his name doesn't hurt, I don't miss him anymore and I am finally happy. Shoot for three months. However you need to make significant changes in those three months to replace habits. First focus on your loneliness and frustration staying at home and being a single parent. See how you can improve upon that. Get to a physician for an evaluation of your physical and mental health. Discuss the inertia. Ask for a referral to a therapist for ongoing support. It's ok to have a heartache, but it will heal. Take some classes and courses. Joint some clubs and groups. Get involved in sports and fitness. Make a commitment to yourself to improve your health, diet and fitness. Give up some bad habits. Volunteer. Get in touch with old friends and reach out to family. The best thing to do is replace whatever unfortunate things are going on, rather than trying to stare off into a void. Fill the void.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ILuvSunshine Posted March 3, 2022 Author Share Posted March 3, 2022 13 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: Shoot for three months. However you need to make significant changes in those three months to replace habits. First focus on your loneliness and frustration staying at home and being a single parent. See how you can improve upon that. Get to a physician for an evaluation of your physical and mental health. Discuss the inertia. Ask for a referral to a therapist for ongoing support. It's ok to have a heartache, but it will heal. Take some classes and courses. Joint some clubs and groups. Get involved in sports and fitness. Make a commitment to yourself to improve your health, diet and fitness. Give up some bad habits. Volunteer. Get in touch with old friends and reach out to family. The best thing to do is replace whatever unfortunate things are going on, rather than trying to stare off into a void. Fill the void.. Thank you so much, Wiseman. 3 months feel like eternity. I have been seeing a therapist for almost two years. I love him, but today's session I don't feel was productive, I think it might be my emotions are still too raw. I have been going to gym every day. I feel working out in a crowded gym helps me， but when I am alone at home (I work remotely these days) and after putting my kid to bed, that was the hardest time. Like your advice about find some new habits or things to do fill the void. 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ILuvSunshine Posted March 4, 2022 Author Share Posted March 4, 2022 Yesterday he reached out and asked me if I was ok. I am struggling. He is a good human being with some flaws. Sometime I wish he is just a totally jerk, then it would be so much easier for me to cut him out of my life. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted March 5, 2022 Share Posted March 5, 2022 If he's a good person, ask him to please stop contacting you as it's making it hard for you to let go. He will understand. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted March 5, 2022 Share Posted March 5, 2022 14 hours ago, ILuvSunshine said: Yesterday he reached out and asked me if I was ok. I am struggling. He is a good human being with some flaws. Sometime I wish he is just a totally jerk, then it would be so much easier for me to cut him out of my life. Good or bad, he’s still a person you broke up with so break up protocol applies. Let him know you wish for privacy and space and not to contact you again. Most people understand this very clearly. Hang in there and leave the phone somewhere else if you keep looking at it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ILuvSunshine Posted March 14, 2022 Author Share Posted March 14, 2022 Today is day 5 of no contact. He reached out after I found out I unfriended him on social media. He also asked if I had deleted a picture of us that I told him I was going to delete. I didn't so I ended up telling him that. We haven't had any communication since. I was doing better and started to get use to not have him in my life. Today, I feel very down. I thought he would reach out again today, like normally he would do, but he didn't. It has been 5 days of no contact, the longest period we never had any contact since we met each other. I feel like this time it is it and that he is also done with me. I know it's for the best, but I am very sad and down. Link to post Share on other sites
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