She only texts me when we are arranging to meet.

[princessaurora]

27 minutes ago, AndyLFC26 said:

Do you think putting my hand over her hand is a bit forward? Isn’t that what couples normally do?

The back thing is fairly subtle and a good thing to do. I have been thinking about doing it for a little while now. 
 

What else could I do?

The next time we are out I’ll tell her that I enjoy spending time with her.

 

Not if she's s sitting on the same side of the booth as you and gazing at you. It would tell her you like her, too.It' s a romantic interest thing, not a couples thing. Couples hold hands, not just put 0ne over the other for a second.  You want to give her some kind of romantic notion or you'll eventually get friendzoned. 

[Beachead]

@AndyLFC26

 

1 hour ago, AndyLFC26 said:

What can I do as an activity that is fun for us to do together?
 

Sounds like a good question to ask her tonight. A good topic for conversation.  

If you don't want to ask,  just secure her availability for a plan, and throw out 2 suggestions, and she'll commit to the more desirable one for her. Some suggestions depending on your area, what's open and what's available...skating, axe throwing, mini golf, a hike, board games, museums, aquariums etc.

Sometimes, doing something you both have never done is nice.  This way you can learn it together and if you both suck at it, you can suck at it together.   It'll create an experience, make a memory, and break the ice.

1 hour ago, AndyLFC26 said:

Do you have any ideas on how I can test the waters with regard to physically touching her? 

Touch the small of her back to guide her through a door as @princessaurora suggested.

Touch her hand when you take something she is giving you.

If she has something in her hair or on her face,  lightly brush it off.  

You can also choose an activity that you know how to do better than her, such as darts, and instruct using touch.

Personally, my style was primarily centralized around conversation. I used eye-contact to enhance it amongst other things.  Touch wasn't used to gauge her interest or comfort, but to let her know mine.  

For example, I used to ask questions to get her talking about herself.  I'd listen to what she was saying so I could follow up with another question.  While she talked, I'd hold her gaze, occasionally breaking eye contact.  Once or twice, I'd tease her about something she's said or did and then lean over and bump her shoulder with mine, if I was standing next to her.  

Personally, I think learning to become a better conversationalist is the skill you want.  It's a life skill that applies anywhere.   Learning to listen.  Learning to ask questions.   Learning when to be silent.  When to talk.  Learning to read people better.   

Practice conversing with strangers, acquaintances, friends and family to improve.

- Beach

 

 

Edited February 27, 2022 by Beachead

[AndyLFC26]

1 hour ago, princessaurora said:

Not if she's s sitting on the same side of the booth as you and gazing at you. It would tell her you like her, too.It' s a romantic interest thing, not a couples thing. Couples hold hands, not just put 0ne over the other for a second.  You want to give her some kind of romantic notion or you'll eventually get friendzoned. 

Would it be awkward if I said to her how I’m feeling and making it clear and then saying something along the lines of “is the feeling mutual?” 

[AndyLFC26]

57 minutes ago, Beachead said:

@AndyLFC26

 

Sounds like a good question to ask her tonight. A good topic for conversation.  

If you don't want to ask,  just secure her availability for a plan, and throw out 2 suggestions, and she'll commit to the more desirable one for her. Some suggestions depending on your area, what's open and what's available...skating, axe throwing, mini golf, a hike, board games, museums, aquariums etc.

Sometimes, doing something you both have never done is nice.  This way you can learn it together and if you both suck at it, you can suck at it together.   It'll create an experience, make a memory, and break the ice.

Touch the small of her back to guide her through a door as @princessaurora suggested.

Touch her hand when you take something she is giving you.

If she has something in her hair or on her face,  lightly brush it off.  

You can also choose an activity that you know how to do better than her, such as darts, and instruct using touch.

Personally, my style was primarily centralized around conversation. I used eye-contact to enhance it amongst other things.  Touch wasn't used to gauge her interest or comfort, but to let her know mine.  

For example, I used to ask questions to get her talking about herself.  I'd listen to what she was saying so I could follow up with another question.  While she talked, I'd hold her gaze, occasionally breaking eye contact.  Once or twice, I'd tease her about something she's said or did and then lean over and bump her shoulder with mine, if I was standing next to her.  

Personally, I think learning to become a better conversationalist is the skill you want.  It's a life skill that applies anywhere.   Learning to listen.  Learning to ask questions.   Learning when to be silent.  When to talk.  Learning to read people better.   

Practice conversing with strangers, acquaintances, friends and family to improve.

- Beach

 

 

I’ll ask her to choose the activity as soon as I find out that the feeling is mutual. 
 

I do want to maintain when we are conversing but I at the same time I don’t want to come across as a creep who is staring at all of the time. 
 

I’m not too good at speaking to people because I’m quite shy and I hate the idea of rejection (I doubt anyone likes it) and I don’t want to feel like I’m the only person between us who is making all of the effort.

Considering her lifestyle I am not too bothered about the lack of texts, as long as there’s a mutual feeling and I get to see her frequently in person. I mean, she didn’t have to give me her or number or go out already with me twice.

[princessaurora]

1 hour ago, AndyLFC26 said:

Would it be awkward if I said to her how I’m feeling and making it clear and then saying something along the lines of “is the feeling mutual?” 

It's too soon to be that obvious, in my opinion. If you tell  her you enjoy spending time with her, she' ll know how to read between the lines. You don't want to be declaring feelings when y'all haven't even kissed yet. 

Edited February 27, 2022 by princessaurora
Add

[AndyLFC26]

Hi everyone,

I spoke to her for a bit last night. We’ve arranged to go to a historical event about the history of Liverpool on Saturday. 
 

As far as physical contact went, she had to change a barrel and I went out of my way to help her and I held a door open for her and as she was walking past me I put my hand on the top of her back until she had gone through the door. Also, after my mates and I had finished a few beers she was nearby and I carried three glasses and gave them to her and touched her hands.

[AndyLFC26]

11 hours ago, princessaurora said:

It's too soon to be that obvious, in my opinion. If you tell  her you enjoy spending time with her, she' ll know how to read between the lines. You don't want to be declaring feelings when y'all haven't even kissed yet. 

Does the saying “I want to get to know you better” signify the same message?

[Wiseman2]

1 hour ago, AndyLFC26 said:

 We’ve arranged to go to a historical event about the history of Liverpool on Saturday. 

That's excellent and a good sign she's into you.

However don't flirt with or touch her at work.Save that for dates.

[princessaurora]

8 hours ago, AndyLFC26 said:

Does the saying “I want to get to know you better” signify the same message?

I would stick with telling her you enjoy spending time with her.  But wait to the date to tell her that. 

Edited February 28, 2022 by princessaurora
Grammar

[dramafreezone]

On 2/27/2022 at 1:57 AM, AndyLFC26 said:

I (26M) like this girl (22F) from the local pub I play darts for and she works so I see her a few times a week. In person we speak quite a bit and we’ve been out a couple of times - one time for a meal and one time for drinks. But, when it comes to texting she doesn’t even read my messages (iMessage) for days and when she does respond it’s solely to arrange the time and place we are meeting. She has two jobs, she goes to college twice a week and sometimes I know that she goes out with her friends. I never see her texting people on her phone and when we are out she never uses her phone.

I know that she has a busy life outside of work (the pub where I play darts), but how come she doesn’t want to engage in small talk via text messages?

She sleeps a lot as well because of her general lifestyle, but it doesn’t take that long to send a message to someone!

I’m not a needy person so I would never feel like sending her lots of messages or try to ring her, but in a way it makes me feel slightly unwanted or at least not really a priority. But, on the day we are meeting she’ll send even a couple or a few messages in a row.

Is this normal?

What should I do?

Sounds like my type of woman.  She has a full life, she keeps the small talk texting to a minimum.  She doesn't carry on conversations via text with anyone, so why take it personally?    I use texting for setting up meetings, just like your friend here.

No offense but you are coming across as a little insecure.  This is your issue not hers.  She's taking time out of her schedule to spend time with you.  Believe me, women that do not like you won't make time for you.

Edited March 3, 2022 by dramafreezone

[Ronni_W]

On 2/27/2022 at 4:57 AM, AndyLFC26 said:

...but how come she doesn’t want to engage in small talk via text messages?

Because "small talk via text messages" is kinda useless and boring for people who have full lives and don't rely on external stimuli (like text messages) for their own high self-esteem and sense of importance and belonging???

I read you that you are "not a needy person"...but...even though you know her lifestyle and her schedule, you still can "feel slightly unwanted or at least not really a priority" -- which really, truly kind of suggests that you are a needy-enough person who would serve your own self better if you picked someone who puts the same (high) level of priority on non-essential text messages as you yourself put on them, which this young lady clearly does not. (For some high-self-esteem people, text messages are just a tool, and definitely not to be taken as any indication or evidence of their emotional interest or desire.)

What you "should do", in my very humble experience, is to just not place so much importance on text messages, and rather respond to how she treats you in person. THAT is where you can really 'read the vibration' of how she feels about you.

Edited March 6, 2022 by Ronni_W

[princessaurora]

@AndyLFC26

How did your date go yesterday?