Crush on very good-looking and popular guy in school

[Katie02]

9 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Excellent, follow up on the study/practice and help. 

Yes, I do want to believe that it is a good sign that he himself suggested this, since he said that we could work alone together and seemed to flirt with me back.

Edited March 2, 2022 by Katie02

[poppyfields]

14 hours ago, basil67 said:

"you don't play hard to get with someone who's hard to get."

Lastly, people who are hot get hit on All.The.Time. You likely have a lot of competition out there, and likely from girls who are quite comfortable in being assertive. 

I actually disagree with the expression in italics, why?  See bolded.

Since guys like him get hit on all the time, you need to stand out by NOT hitting on him or being so "easy" to get.

My advice is to flat out ignore him.  Trust me with so many girls flirting and hitting on him, being ignored by an attractive girl will intrigue him, get him wondering which will create or increase his attraction.  He might be thinking "hmmm, why is she ignoring me?" and step up HIS game to find out.

Talk to other guys, give off an air of abundance, show that you don't need his attention, which you actually shouldn't anyway.

If HE attempts to flirt, be friendly but not too much.  Talk briefly and politely excuse yourself.

I speak from experience, in high school and college, I always had the popular guys pursuing me, and that was because honestly, I was NOT interested in them.  I pretty much ignored all of them and they were constantly attempting to get my attention.  

It wasn't even a game for me, I seriously was not interested in those types of guys and I am still not!

Please don't chase guys, especially guys like him.

EDIT:  My long term ex was "that" type of guy, I met him a few years after college.  BUT we both felt a connection since the first night we met NOT based on looks or anything superficial, so it was different.  We dated for six years.

 

Edited March 2, 2022 by poppyfields

[Katie02]

20 minutes ago, poppyfields said:

I actually disagree with the expression in italics, why?  See bolded.

Since guys like him get hit on all the time, you need to stand out by NOT hitting on him or being so "easy" to get.

My advice is to flat out ignore him.  Trust me with so many girls flirting and hitting on him, being ignored by an attractive girl will intrigue him, get him wondering which will create or increase his attraction.  He might be thinking "hmmm, why is she ignoring me?" and step up HIS game to find out.

Talk to other guys, give off an air of abundance, show that you don't need his attention, which you actually shouldn't anyway.

If HE attempts to flirt, be friendly but not too much.  Talk briefly and politely excuse yourself.

I speak from experience, in high school and college, I always had the popular guys pursuing me, and that was because honestly, I was NOT interested in them.  I pretty much ignored all of them and they were constantly attempting to get my attention.  

It wasn't even a game for me, I seriously was not interested in those types of guys and I am still not!

Please don't chase guys, especially guys like him.

EDIT:  My long term ex was "that" type of guy, I met him a few years after college.  BUT we both felt a connection since the first night we met NOT based on looks or anything superficial, so it was different.  We dated for six years.

 

That is true, however he did suggest himself that he and I could study together for ourselves this Friday.
And I felt like we got an intimate connection when I talked to him right before that, where we stood close to each other and gazed silently into each other's eyes and smile to each other for what felt like 15-20 seconds.
So I hope that this means that he might be interested.

[poppyfields]

10 minutes ago, Katie02 said:

That is true, however he did suggest himself that he and I could study together for ourselves this Friday.
And I felt like we got an intimate connection when I talked to him right before that, where we stood close to each other and gazed silently into each other's eyes and smile to each other for what felt like 15-20 seconds.
So I hope that this means that he might be interested.

Yes that would indicate he is interested, so that's very positive! 

Did you accept his invite to study? 

If so, have fun, enjoy!  💛

[SumGuy]

1 hour ago, Katie02 said:

I tried approaching him today, and I am starting to feel hopeful that he might be a bit interested in me. ^-^
I said hi to him right after a math lecture, and we ended up talking about that course for a few minutes, and I said at one moment that it was a pretty hard course, in a lighthearted way with a bit of a laugh.
And he suggested that we could work with it together on Friday, and offered to help me with the things that I found difficult, and I of course thanked him for that, and then we had a moment when we stood close to each other (probably about 7-8 inches away) and just held eye contact with each other for probably at least 15-20 seconds (thats sort of what it felt like), and smiled to each other a bit.
I had to leave for another lecture right after that, but I found myself looking over my shoulder at him when I left, and he continued to gaze at me with a smile until I had left.

I hope that it means something that he himself suggested that we could work together, and I did feel like we got a very intimate connection there.
Or am I getting my hopes up too quickly?
I hope not.

I don't think so.   This sounds very encouraging to me...he has no shortage of interest from women and he is suggesting to help you.  I'm just worried you two won't get any homework done  .

[SumGuy]

13 minutes ago, Katie02 said:

That is true, however he did suggest himself that he and I could study together for ourselves this Friday.
...

Only hint would be to sit on the same side of the table when you start studying.  There is really something to the side by side contact that helps build tension in a delicious way, also makes it easier to kiss.

It being Friday is also positive, no classes the next day, still have time to do the homework in case, you know.

[Katie02]

11 minutes ago, poppyfields said:

Yes that would indicate he is interested, so that's very positive! 

Did you accept his invite to study? 

If so, have fun, enjoy!  💛

Oh yeah, I said yes to it immediately. ^-^

 

7 minutes ago, SumGuy said:

Only hint would be to sit on the same side of the table when you start studying.  There is really something to the side by side contact that helps build tension in a delicious way, also makes it easier to kiss.

It being Friday is also positive, no classes the next day, still have time to do the homework in case, you know.

Ah yeah, I will sit right next to him for sure.

I also suspect that he might have picked Friday on purpose, just so that he and I will have the opportunity for some... ... "private time"... ...  afterwards, haha.
And if we have the same chemistry as we had during our conversation, then I am pretty sure that we will end up kissing and fondling, and I am really excited for that (I feel quite shaky right now, haha).

Edited March 2, 2022 by Katie02

[Johnjohnson2017]

He is definetely attracted to you. He wouldent ask to study with you if he didn't. That's a great sign for you.

Off topic: I am just curious... Do you subconsciously play with your hair when you are attracted to a guy... like moving your hair with your hand to expose more of your face. Did you touch your hair while talking to him?

[Katie02]

3 minutes ago, Johnjohnson2017 said:

He is definetely attracted to you. He wouldent ask to study with you if he didn't. That's a great sign for you.

Off topic: I am just curious... Do you subconsciously play with your hair when you are attracted to a guy... like moving your hair with your hand to expose more of your face. Did you touch your hair while talking to him?

From what I remember, I think I tilted my head and twirled my hair during our whole conversation, and also stuttered a bit, giggled easily, and I also felt that I was probably blushing.
I also believe that I leaned on one leg with my hips pointing to the side, probably as a subconscious way to look "cute" and "sexy" for him.

Edited March 2, 2022 by Katie02

[poppyfields]

8 minutes ago, Katie02 said:

From what I remember, I think I tilted my head and twirled my hair during our whole conversation, and also stuttered a bit, giggled easily, and I also felt that I was probably blushing.

I am like this too when I really like a guy, super nervous, even awkward!

The men I have dated found it endearing and very "cute," and yes I have no doubt he was flattered and may have been the green light he needed to kick this up a notch by asking you to study!

[Katie02]

3 minutes ago, poppyfields said:

I am like this too when I really like a guy, super nervous, even awkward!

The men I have dated found it endearing and very "cute," and yes I have no doubt he was flattered and may have been the green light he needed to kick this up a notch by asking you to study!

Ah yes, he seemed to feel the same way about me, since he looked flattered and delighted.

I could really feel something between us while we talked to each other;
it was a bit of a "love at first sight" experience, even though I had been checking him out before that.
So I am pretty confident that we will really click when we sit by ourselves.

Do you think that this might turn into something more serious?
It feels like that could happen, since we gave each other loving looks while we talked, and seemed to click extremely well.

Edited March 2, 2022 by Katie02

[basil67]

@Katie02 you're getting completely carried away with fantasy.   At this point, there is absolutely nothing to indicate that it might turn into something more serious.   He might just hang out with you as a buddy.  He might have a one night stand with you.  He might use you for FWB until something better comes along.  He might want a relationship.

All of these scenarios are completely possible.   And at this stage, you don't even know the man!  You may find out that he's a total douche.

[Katie02]

3 minutes ago, basil67 said:

@Katie02 you're getting completely carried away with fantasy.   At this point, there is absolutely nothing to indicate that it might turn into something more serious.   He might just hang out with you as a buddy.  He might have a one night stand with you.  He might use you for FWB until something better comes along.  He might want a relationship.

All of these scenarios are completely possible.   And at this stage, you don't even know the man!  You may find out that he's a total douche.

I guess so - but I hope that it will turn out well.

[basil67]

16 minutes ago, Katie02 said:

I guess so - but I hope that it will turn out well.

I strongly suggest you learn to manage your hopes and dreams.  All this desire is based on nothing more than his pretty face - you know absolutely nothing about him.  If you get too excited too early, then you're going to crash to earth if/when the whole thing ends. 

Edited March 2, 2022 by basil67

[poppyfields]

Katie, I agree with lower expectations, in fact it might be best to have NO expectations at this point.  Go with the flow and play it out.

I will tell you that re: the ex I mentioned in my previous post, when we first met, we knew nothing about each other either, but yet there was this somethin somethin going on --  chemistry, energy whatever it was, it was pretty powerful!

We had sex that first night and honestly I had no expectations that anything would develop afterwards, but he called me the following day and we ended up dating six years.

I know it's difficult but try to relax a bit, maybe do some Yoga or go for a run beforehand, that always works for me when I am super nervous.

Keep us posted!

 

Edited March 2, 2022 by poppyfields

[Katie02]

2 minutes ago, poppyfields said:

Katie, I agree with lower expectations, in fact it might be best to have NO expectations at this point.  Go with the flow and play it out.

I will tell you that re: the ex I mentioned in my previous post, when we first met, we knew nothing about each other either, but yet there was this somethin somethin going on --  chemistry, energy whatever it was, it was pretty powerful!

We had sex that first night and honestly I had no expectations that anything would develop but he called me the following day and we ended up dating six years.

I know it's difficult but try to relax a bit, maybe do some Yoga or go for a run beforehand, that always worked for me when I was super nervous.

 

I do realise that, but it is still really exciting to feel that it is a decent chance that it will turn out really well.

[Johnjohnson2017]

I'm curious what does he looks like? which celibraty does he most resemble?

You should watch "Tall Girl" it's on Netflix. This new male student from Sweden goes to an American High School and instantly becomes popular with the girls due to his good looks. Girls flaunt to him. 

[poppyfields]

12 minutes ago, Katie02 said:

I do realise that, but it is still really exciting to feel that it is a decent chance that it will turn out really well.

Seriously Katie, the only thing you should be excited about right now is meeting him to study.  I understand it's easy to get carried away and start envisioning things (like a relationship or even marriage) but a man can sense that energy from you and it could very well turn him off.

Try to remain detached from the outcome and for now focus on having a good time "studying" together and whatever else happens.

One step at a time, enjoy the journey!  

 

Edited March 2, 2022 by poppyfields

[Katie02]

6 minutes ago, Johnjohnson2017 said:

I'm curious what does he looks like? which celibraty does he most resemble?

You should watch "Tall Girl" it's on Netflix. This new male student from Sweden goes to an American High School and instantly becomes popular with the girls due to his good looks. Girls flaunt to him. 

I guess maybe a little bit like a cross between the Swedish model Markus Schenkenberg when he was young, and the Canadian model Nick Bateman.

And even though I don't really know him yet, I did start to find him extra interesting when I felt that we seemed to communicate really well.
 

1 minute ago, poppyfields said:

Seriously Katie, the only thing you should be excited about right now is meeting him to study.  I understand it's easy to get carried away and start envisioning things (like a relationship or even marriage) but a man can sense that energy from you and it could very well turn him off.

Try to remain detached from the outcome and for now focus on having a good time "studying" together and whatever else happens.

One step at a time, enjoy the journey!  

 

That is true;
I guess it is best to enjoy each step at a time for its own sake, without expecting too much at once.

Edited March 2, 2022 by Katie02

[glows]

This sounds like a crush. Good on you, first of all, for speaking to him. See how things go and don’t rush anything. Let him initiate as well. If he doesn’t reciprocate interest move on. 

[Katie02]

6 minutes ago, glows said:

This sounds like a crush. Good on you, first of all, for speaking to him. See how things go and don’t rush anything. Let him initiate as well. If he doesn’t reciprocate interest move on. 

Thaanks.
I feel that it should be a good sign that he invited me on some one-on-one study time with him, and he did flirt with me when I talked to him.
He actually gave me a little gentle nudge with his clenched hand on my left upper arm with a smile while we looked into each other's eyes that time, and that felt like he was hitting on me.
So it seems positive. ^-^

Edited March 2, 2022 by Katie02

[Wiseman2]

Where will you meet for study group/tutoring? Was a time/date set up? Bring snacks/drinks.

Act more dignified and natural. Try not to use "body language" posturing, etc., at the risk of seeming silly. Be yourself , act as you usually do. 

[glows]

1 minute ago, Katie02 said:

Thaanks.
I feel that it should be a good sign that he invited me on some one-on-one study time with him, and he did flirt with me when I talked to him.
He actually gave me a little gentle nudge with his clenched hand on my left upper arm with a smile while we looked into each other's eyes that time, which felt like a bit of a quick tease, and that felt like he was hitting on me.
So it seems positive. ^-^

That’s cute. But focus on your studies. Do you really need help from him? Have a back up and look for reputable tutors in math. 

Have fun with him but keep your homework separate if your grades depend on it.

[Katie02]

6 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Where will you meet for study group/tutoring? Was a time/date set up? Bring snacks/drinks.

Act more dignified and natural. Try not to use "body language" posturing, etc., at the risk of seeming silly. Be yourself , act as you usually do. 

Yes, he suggested 1 PM that day in a part of the school in one of the hallways where there is only one table, and I said yes to that.
It is an area that feels very open and fairly central, but there aren't really too many people who pass there, so we will likely be for ourselves a lot of the time.

I will make sure to act natural;
it would probably come off as strange and forced if I tried to "act sensual" for him, especially if I deliberately dressed in an alluring way just to get his attention;
I am sure that he has already had admirers who have acted just like that, and only found it thrilling the first few times.

Edited March 2, 2022 by Katie02

[Yosemite]

2 hours ago, Katie02 said:

And if we have the same chemistry as we had during our conversation, then I am pretty sure that we will end up kissing and fondling, and I am really excited for that (I feel quite shaky right now, haha).

 

26 minutes ago, Katie02 said:

will make sure to act natural;
it would probably come off as strange and forced if I tried to "act sensual" for him, especially if I deliberately dressed in an alluring way just to get his attention;

Have you ever had a boyfriend?

You shouldn’t be expecting to kiss and make out with fondling after a study date at school in the middle of the afternoon. You sound very inexperienced and caught up in fantasy. Try to be yourself and act natural. Probably the only thing that the two of you will do when you meet up is study math and talk a bit. Probably the most that will happen after that is that he will ask for your number and start texting you. 

Don’t act sensual or wear revealing clothes; there’s a high risk that you will embarrass yourself because of how inexperienced you are. Just be yourself.