Online dating?

[Silverfox22]

What is the best  dating app or websites  you will  recommend to a friend ?

[Wiseman2]

6 hours ago, Silverfox22 said:

What is the best  dating app or websites  you will  recommend to a friend ?

Depends on age, location, goals, etc.

Do you want a free app or a paid app?

Do you want a niche app (age interests religion,etc.) Or a general app?

There's pros and cons to whatever you choose so it's about you and your demographics and preferences.

 

[Gaeta]

There is no answer to this question. Like @Wiseman2 mentionned it depends on many variables. Some app have a good reputation in some part of the world and are considered trash in other places. 

[smackie9]

None.....dating apps used to be a great option. Now it's filled with [people who have a lot of issues] scammers, penpals, married people, attention seekers, players...in turn, you will find a lot of disappointment. You should join a club, find activities that include meeting new people, develop a solid social network.

Edited March 7, 2022 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
ableism

[Gaeta]

 

Here is the list where couples met in 2021. Dating sites and apps are the number 1 place where couples meet nowadays. 

1. Dating Sites & Apps.
2. Local Events & Meetups.
3. Volunteering Opportunities.
4. Adult Classes & Educational Programs.
5. Co-Ed Sports Leagues.
6. Parties, Clubs, Bars, Etc.
7. Social Media.

[Ami1uwant]

15 hours ago, Silverfox22 said:

What is the best  dating app or websites  you will  recommend to a friend ?

It depends……

 

there are many of them out there.

 

if peop,e are looking you are likely to find the same people on multiple sites.  Befire smart phone application ones, peop,e woukd rotate paying to use sites like match, eharmony, p,rent offish, ok Cupid, and others.  Smart phone/ app ones are tinder, bumble, hinge among others.

 

ehaRmony and a few other sites try to match you based on a profile you fill out. Others it’s more of peop,e search fir people and thrn initiate communication based on your home address location. The app ones tied to smart phone geo locate you in your setting and you don’t lock your location they could match you with people who happen to be in the same area as you.

[Trail Blazer]

Dating apps worked fantastic for me.  Your advice might be applicable to some people, for others, though, it's perhaps not the best advice.  However, I appreciate that it's probably been your experience.

The thing is, I have friends, I don't need more.  I don't partake in activities that would yield dates.  I'm not going to start activities which might, either.  It would be just strange to do something just in the hope to meet someone. 

If people meet IRL, that's great.  But as I've gotten older, it's been harder to meet people organically.  My work takes up a lot of my time and I find a lot of people just irritate me anyway.  OLD, in my case, just suits my personality.

Edited March 7, 2022 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
removed quote

[Weezy1973]

These were the sites used back when I was OLD: POF, OKCupid, Tinder, Bumble and eHarmony (paid).

 

A lot of people don’t like OLD because it’s different from meeting people in real life, but once you wrap your head around it, it can be pretty enjoyable. I had many dates, had a few relationships and eventually met my wife all through OLD. 

[Alpacalia]

I feel like with online dating it increases the chances that you'll meet someone you're truly compatible with.

If it doesn't and you're on there for too long then something is off...

[SumGuy]

On 3/6/2022 at 12:40 AM, Silverfox22 said:

What is the best  dating app or websites  you will  recommend to a friend ?

Match worked great for me (live in a large metropolitan area and over 45 at the time) literally got 1000-2000 hits on search criteria within 25 miles or so.  Had no issues garnering interest (and dates) in those who seemed interesting to me.  But I was on the search for LTR, and not just hooking up....but probably could have done the hooking up thing no problem if wanted to.

The free sites tried were awful, and tried e-harmony but did not like how they doled out matches to you, no searching when I was on, but did have some good dates etc. from it.

On both e-harmony and Match every women I messaged (or messaged back) certainly was real, no bots.  Very few dead or locked profiles.

[dramafreezone]

On 3/6/2022 at 6:00 AM, smackie9 said:

None.....dating apps used to be a great option. Now it's filled with socially inadequate, mentally ill, scammers, penpals, married people, attention seekers, players...in turn, you will find a lot of disappointment. You should join a club, find activities that include meeting new people, develop a solid social network.

There is all of that, but there are actually good people too if someone is truly dedicated to finding that person.

I don't like OLD, but I do understand that it is the present and the future of dating.  The majority of people in the future will meet and marry from online dating, and most people will use it at least as a supplement to their in-person dating lives.

I compare it to the advent of the first automobile.  The first cars were pretty dangerous, no one knew how to drive them, they had parts that would catch fire and explode.  As time went on we learned how to make cars safer, we learned how to responsibly use them, and I think that process has to take place for OLD.

OP you just have to invest time and effort and live with the results.  We were talking about this in another thread, you get out of OLD what you put in.

[SumGuy]

I'd say at least 90-95% of the women met were as they portrayed themselves.  Sure some didn't click with but no one I would call "socially inadequate, mentally ill, scammers, penpals, married people, attention seekers, players..etc."   

Lets take them in turn

[ ] 

(3) scammers, nope...not a one of dozens upon dozens interacted with, except there was one woman on a free site I think might have been a prostitute...but never met her.  Heck only 1 flake that i can recall in the whole batch as well.

(4) penpals..never, in fact the opposite, as most women say no or want to meet, but I was quick to ask to meet and no one ever said no on meeting.

(5) married people...of course you never really know until some time goes by but none that I dated...because went to their house, etc.

(6) attention seeker...no in that everyone responded to my messages in a substantive way and always agreed to meet when asked. 

(7) players...I'm a guy so does that even apply to women?  Never felt being taken for a ride or free drinks, many women offered to pay or split on dates and the ones most eager to get me in bed usually paid for the drinks.  My advice, wait until the third date to give into her.    

 

I was personally looking for a unicorn and found her (as was she), but it took years and effort, lots of effort and an open mind...if I had followed knee jerk internet rules meant to protect the insecure never would have responded to her.

Edited March 7, 2022 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
removed discussion of ableist content

[ccas93]

they've also all become hyper competitive, good luck finding what you actually want on there. 

[smackie9]

My observation is from the hundreds of complaints about OLD on this forum. Lots of people are just sick of it by the looks of things. So it's a crap shoot just like anything online...use it wisely. 

[Trail Blazer]

2 hours ago, Alpaca said:

I feel like with online dating it increases the chances that you'll meet someone you're truly compatible with.

If it doesn't and you're on there for too long then something is off...

This could be construed as a pretty harsh/ignorant comment by a lot of guys.  You're a woman - you get swiped right by most guys. 

Going by your profile photo, it wouldn't take you long at all to have many guys lining up for a date.  However, that says more about the dynamic of OLD weighted in favor of women that it ultimately does about you.

Take the 80/20 rule, which has been discussed in depth on previous threads.  If the top 80 percent of women seek the top 20 percent of men, where does that leave most men?

I don't think that the success of males on OLD is a true indication of how much of a failure they are.  It's just that women's SMV (Sexual Marketplace Value) on OLD is so much higher than men's.

[Ami1uwant]

5 hours ago, Weezy1973 said:

These were the sites used back when I was OLD: POF, OKCupid, Tinder, Bumble and eHarmony (paid).

 

A lot of people don’t like OLD because it’s different from meeting people in real life, but once you wrap your head around it, it can be pretty enjoyable. I had many dates, had a few relationships and eventually met my wife all through OLD. 

I used online dating before it was socially acceptable like it is now.

 

iypts why you want to meet in person ASAP.  It’s an online version of a singles party. You at least hope the others are also looking and you start a conversation.

 

over the last 10 years online has gotten more socially acceptable so youare getting more users which means brining in people who aren’t serious about it.

 

15-20 years ago itwas seriously looking users were the ma8n ones using it where they truly wanted to meet someone and not being someone who is just using it to meet someone out of their league/ clas/ other side of the tracks.

[Ami1uwant]

8 minutes ago, Trail Blazer said:

This could be construed as a pretty harsh/ignorant comment by a lot of guys.  You're a woman - you get swiped right by most guys. 

Going by your profile photo, it wouldn't take you long at all to have many guys lining up for a date.  However, that says more about the dynamic of OLD weighted in favor of women that it ultimately does about you.

Take the 80/20 rule, which has been discussed in depth on previous threads.  If the top 80 percent of women seek the top 20 percent of men, where does that leave most men?

I don't think that the success of males on OLD is a true indication of how much of a failure they are.  It's just that women's SMV (Sexual Marketplace Value) on OLD is so much higher than men's.

I’d love to see a site where roles are reversed and women truly understand what it’s like for men.

 

there are other factors in play here in how you choose or decide.  Many research work has shown if you have too many options you freeze up and don’t choose 1.while ifyou have only a few you do choose.

 

another factor is maximizer vs satisfyer decision making. Satisifyer means it satisfies minimum standard of dating. Maximizer want the absolute best deal.  Satisfyer with dating just looks for the good enough with some flaws.  The maximizer wants the 110% thst just doesn’t exist.

 

other research has shown people may pass over people who were good for them after a first date because they have other options online. Had they met without online they probably would have had multiple people dates and maybe e en become a LTR.

 

 

[Ami1uwant]

2 hours ago, SumGuy said:

I'd say at least 90-95% of the women met were as they portrayed themselves.  Sure some didn't click with but no one I would call "socially inadequate, mentally ill, scammers, penpals, married people, attention seekers, players..etc."   

Lets take them in turn

[ ] 

(3) scammers, nope...not a one of dozens upon dozens interacted with, except there was one woman on a free site I think might have been a prostitute...but never met her.  Heck only 1 flake that i can recall in the whole batch as well.

(4) penpals..never, in fact the opposite, as most women say no or want to meet, but I was quick to ask to meet and no one ever said no on meeting.

(5) married people...of course you never really know until some time goes by but none that I dated...because went to their house, etc.

(6) attention seeker...no in that everyone responded to my messages in a substantive way and always agreed to meet when asked. 

(7) players...I'm a guy so does that even apply to women?  Never felt being taken for a ride or free drinks, many women offered to pay or split on dates and the ones most eager to get me in bed usually paid for the drinks.  My advice, wait until the third date to give into her.    

 

I was personally looking for a unicorn and found her (as was she), but it took years and effort, lots of effort and an open mind...if I had followed knee jerk internet rules meant to protect the insecure never would have responded to her.

Over the years of OLD I have my share of

 

scammers… these were people who had an agenda. There were some after to talking said they actually lived in X not near me. I had one person give me a local number that then routed it to an overseas location. That call ended quickly when I saw what happened.

 

are they ready to date?  …these people might have just come out of a relationship or marriage.  If it marriage you don’t know if you are ready to date until youare about to. With relationships there is that rebound get back together thing thst can occur.

 

people who have no experience…these people might have been married fir much of their adult life. They are ready to date but they don’t know what they want or how it works now since their last courtship occured OVer 20 years ago with a high school/ college person thry married.  They don’t know modern adult dating standards or expectations.

 

separate from this are personality types that also play a factor.

 

 

 

 

[Alpacalia]

28 minutes ago, Trail Blazer said:

This could be construed as a pretty harsh/ignorant comment by a lot of guys.  You're a woman - you get swiped right by most guys. 

Going by your profile photo, it wouldn't take you long at all to have many guys lining up for a date.  However, that says more about the dynamic of OLD weighted in favor of women that it ultimately does about you.

Take the 80/20 rule, which has been discussed in depth on previous threads.  If the top 80 percent of women seek the top 20 percent of men, where does that leave most men?

I don't think that the success of males on OLD is a true indication of how much of a failure they are.  It's just that women's SMV (Sexual Marketplace Value) on OLD is so much higher than men's.

That's fine.

My observation stands.

For me, comparing human beings to SMVs or percentages is way off-putting.

In fairness, some people who use online dating the right way are genuinely kind and decent.

[Trail Blazer]

1 minute ago, Alpaca said:

That's fine.

My observation stands.

For me, comparing human beings to SMVs or percentages is way off-putting.

In fairness, some people who use online dating the right way are genuinely kind and decent.

I won't harangue you over your observations, but for mine, your last two sentences read as whataboutism.

I don't think women like to acknowledge just how hard OLD can be more the majority of men, and how it negatively affects them.

Women, of course face their own challenges with OLD, but thise challenges are very, very different.

[NuevoYorko]

On 3/6/2022 at 6:00 AM, smackie9 said:

None.....dating apps used to be a great option. Now it's filled with [people who have a lot of issues] scammers, penpals, married people, attention seekers, players...in turn, you will find a lot of disappointment. You should join a club, find activities that include meeting new people, develop a solid social network.

The generally accepted stat is that about 60% of people who used dating apps reported having success with them.  Whatever their definition of success was - they felt they'd achieved it.   So not necessarily a waste of time.  

[Trail Blazer]

1 hour ago, Ami1uwant said:

I’d love to see a site where roles are reversed and women truly understand what it’s like for men.

 

there are other factors in play here in how you choose or decide.  Many research work has shown if you have too many options you freeze up and don’t choose 1.while ifyou have only a few you do choose.

 

another factor is maximizer vs satisfyer decision making. Satisifyer means it satisfies minimum standard of dating. Maximizer want the absolute best deal.  Satisfyer with dating just looks for the good enough with some flaws.  The maximizer wants the 110% thst just doesn’t exist.

 

other research has shown people may pass over people who were good for them after a first date because they have other options online. Had they met without online they probably would have had multiple people dates and maybe e en become a LTR.

 

 

Bro, that's so true.  My girlfriend is hot  and could get pretty much any guy to go on a date with her when she used OLD. 

She told me that when she used OLD in the past, she'd get so many messages it became totally overwhelming.  She said she used specific techniques to limit traffic to her inbox when using open message sites like PoF.  Among those were using very sedate pictures which undersold herself, and even using main photos as one where her face couldn't be seen clearly.

When I matched with her on Bumble is 2019, I thought she was cute, but nothing out of the ordinary.  When we met I was blown away.  She looked so much hotter IRL.  The rest is history, and we've been happily together ever since.

I, on the other hand, would put my best foot forward.  Post up my best pics.  Having said that, I never bothered filling out profiles.  However, in any case, it goes to show that women have so many more options on-line than men, and men really have to work to keep a girl engaged long enough in the hope that she'll accept an offer for a date.

 

Edited March 7, 2022 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
language

[NuevoYorko]

1 hour ago, Trail Blazer said:

 

Take the 80/20 rule, which has been discussed in depth on previous threads.  If the top 80 percent of women seek the top 20 percent of men, where does that leave most men?

I don't think that the success of males on OLD is a true indication of how much of a failure they are.  It's just that women's SMV (Sexual Marketplace Value) on OLD is so much higher than men's.

I don't think very many people acknowledge this "rule" or approach dating as a "SEXUAL MARKETPLACE."  For crying out loud.  

There actually ARE "sexual marketplaces" and, you're right - the majority of sex workers are women, and the majority of consumers are men.  It's not OLD.   

[Trail Blazer]

1 minute ago, NuevoYorko said:

I don't think very many people acknowledge this "rule" or approach dating as a "SEXUAL MARKETPLACE."  For crying out loud.  

There actually ARE "sexual marketplaces" and, you're right - the majority of sex workers are women, and the majority of consumers are men.  It's not OLD.   

You'd do well to brush up on your understanding of what defines SMV and then apply it to the context of what I said.  Perhaps then my point would make a lot more sense to you.  

[Lisa]

Thread has been locked.  The OP has not returned and after a good start, the thread has now devolved into debating and is no longer on topic.