Kim1507 Posted March 8, 2022 Share Posted March 8, 2022 need advice Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted March 8, 2022 Share Posted March 8, 2022 Post a description of your problem and others will respond. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted March 8, 2022 Share Posted March 8, 2022 6 minutes ago, Kim1507 said: need advice If you recently ended a relationship, distance yourself and take a break from dating. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kim1507 Posted March 8, 2022 Author Share Posted March 8, 2022 I've been dating this guy for 8 months. Everything was great except that he never took initiative. I was the only one making the efforts to see him, to talk to him. He would call me on and off. One day i couldn't take it and told him the way he behaves isn't fair. We didn't talked for 2 days. After that he told me this relationship wont work, because his family wont like me just bc one time i met his friends and i wasn't talking enough with them, ( am a introvert) they found that rude.My boyfriend judged me on the basis on that. He said his family wont like me be if the way i am. He didn't give me a chance. I begged him convince him to stay with me. Tomorrow he is leaving for studies abroad, and we haven't met for one month, we were supposed to meet yesterday he said he is not sure he will be able to meet me, the hurtful thing is he made time to meet all his friends except me. He told me again he is leaving and long distance won't work. Am someone who's been through a lot traumas in my past relationship i always give everything and i get nothing in return. I don't understand why to pretend and why using someone who only had pure intentions for you. I don't deserve this. And it hurts so bad. I struggle with depression and anxiety and lately i feel like my world is collapsing. I’ve been struggling with suicidal thoughts too. Tho we haven’t officially enD things I really want him back in my life. Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted March 8, 2022 Share Posted March 8, 2022 (edited) 5 minutes ago, Kim1507 said: I've been dating this guy for 8 months. Everything was great except that he never took initiative. I was the only one making the efforts to see him, to talk to him. He would call me on and off. One day i couldn't take it and told him the way he behaves isn't fair. We didn't talked for 2 days. After that he told me this relationship wont work, because his family wont like me just bc one time i met his friends and i wasn't talking enough with them, ( am a introvert) they found that rude.My boyfriend judged me on the basis on that. He said his family wont like me be if the way i am. He didn't give me a chance. I begged him convince him to stay with me. Tomorrow he is leaving for studies abroad, and we haven't met for one month, we were supposed to meet yesterday he said he is not sure he will be able to meet me, the hurtful thing is he made time to meet all his friends except me. He told me again he is leaving and long distance won't work. Am someone who's been through a lot traumas in my past relationship i always give everything and i get nothing in return. I don't understand why to pretend and why using someone who only had pure intentions for you. I don't deserve this. And it hurts so bad. I struggle with depression and anxiety and lately i feel like my world is collapsing. I’ve been struggling with suicidal thoughts too. Tho we haven’t officially enD things I really want him back in my life. Were you aware he was moving early on? Are you seeing your doctor about these moods? Book an appointment today and look into your own health. It doesn’t sound like the relationship was going to last and he used his family as a paltry excuse. Edited March 8, 2022 by glows Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kim1507 Posted March 8, 2022 Author Share Posted March 8, 2022 Yeah he told me, he is going to study. But he always assured me he will still be with me. But two days before he said long distance might not work. Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted March 8, 2022 Share Posted March 8, 2022 1 minute ago, Kim1507 said: Yeah he told me, he is going to study. But he always assured me he will still be with me. But two days before he said long distance might not work. Give yourself a few weeks to shake off the withdrawal and panic. This will pass. Is it your first relationship? If you’re in school, get your assignments and exams completed and out of the way. Don’t fall behind. Please book an appointment with your doctor to address your moods and depression. There’s no shame in asking for help. Your boyfriend quite truthfully doesn’t sound like he’s into you. He’s not in love with you. And I’m sorry. Don’t sink to the level where you’re doting on someone who doesn’t care for you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted March 8, 2022 Share Posted March 8, 2022 9 minutes ago, Kim1507 said: I struggle with depression and anxiety and lately.I’ve been struggling with suicidal thoughts . Call a mental health/suicide hotline. Someone will listen empathetically to you and help you get the resources you need. Make an appointment with your physician asap and discuss the suicidal ideation. Alternatively go to an ER and they will help you find the doctors and care you need. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Haydn Posted March 8, 2022 Share Posted March 8, 2022 Hello, Horrible feeling isn't it? But it is you and you are feeling it. Makes you pretty normal. Time to just accept this RS is not for you. He is not for you and you deserve much much better. Obviously it feels like the end of the world, right? It is not. It is the end of this RS. Do seek out help for how you feel and try not to do it alone. Be it friends or someone professional. It is not the end. Keep posting here. You will get support. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted March 8, 2022 Share Posted March 8, 2022 Kim, your ex-boyfriend doesn't sound very nice. You're giving him too much power. Keep anyone out of your life who makes you feel that way. I hope you get the support you need. Things will be okay. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kim1507 Posted March 8, 2022 Author Share Posted March 8, 2022 I want to feel better and move on. But it’s really hard. I can’t do it. My world is collapsing Link to post Share on other sites
vla1120 Posted March 8, 2022 Share Posted March 8, 2022 25 minutes ago, Kim1507 said: I want to feel better and move on. But it’s really hard. I can’t do it. My world is collapsing I understand it feels horrible right now, but time will pass and it WILL get better. Please give yourself some time. Do you have something you can turn to when you start having these feelings of hopelessness? Someone to talk to? Call a suicide hotline if you're feeling suicidal. Hang in there. It WILL get better. Please give yourself some time. Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted March 8, 2022 Share Posted March 8, 2022 (edited) That's good that you say want to feel better and move on. Sincerely, Kim, I know everything is wrong, broken, and messed up right now. It's natural to feel weak, helpless, alone. When you no longer have your beloved. What other traumas have you dealt with in the past? How did you get through those? You got through it, so you can this time too! Edited March 8, 2022 by Alpaca Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kim1507 Posted March 8, 2022 Author Share Posted March 8, 2022 I’ve been in this situation before in my past relationship. And it took me 3 years to get through that. Then after that i got into this relationship. And the same thing is happening. Am completely lost. I badly need help. Link to post Share on other sites
vla1120 Posted March 8, 2022 Share Posted March 8, 2022 1 minute ago, Kim1507 said: I’ve been in this situation before in my past relationship. And it took me 3 years to get through that. Then after that i got into this relationship. And the same thing is happening. Am completely lost. I badly need help. Are you in college now? If you are, there are on campus resources for you. Please call or visit one of your college counselors. If you are not in college, there are other resources you can tap into. Also, you don't have to call the suicide hotline, now you can text if you feel more comfortable doing that. Maybe just talking about it will help you work through it. Everyone heals at their own pace. Ideally, you should talk to a professional about the best way for you to navigate getting over this relationship. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted March 8, 2022 Share Posted March 8, 2022 I've typically not had trouble getting over past relationships except for taking some time off for myself before getting into another one. Except for one. Even though I am happy and living my life it's been years and I still think about it at times. Like vla1120 said, we all heal at different paces. If this is a recurring for you then definitely it is worth talking to someone that can help you navigate these feelings and give you the tools you need to cope. I hope you can do that for yourself. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kim1507 Posted March 8, 2022 Author Share Posted March 8, 2022 Am a student, i dont have the means to pay for counseling. Thats why am here, to get advice from you people. Because i really want to get out of this mess that’s inside in my head. I feel like failure. Link to post Share on other sites
vla1120 Posted March 8, 2022 Share Posted March 8, 2022 2 minutes ago, Kim1507 said: Am a student, i dont have the means to pay for counseling. Thats why am here, to get advice from you people. Because i really want to get out of this mess that’s inside in my head. I feel like failure. If you are a student, then there are resources on campus that can help you. Please feel free to PM me and tell me where you attend and I will find the resources for you! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kim1507 Posted March 8, 2022 Author Share Posted March 8, 2022 Am in mauritius, and i think you guys are from a different region Link to post Share on other sites
vla1120 Posted March 8, 2022 Share Posted March 8, 2022 3 minutes ago, Kim1507 said: to get advice from you people My advice would be to surround yourself with friends and find some activities to fill your down time. I know you said you are an introvert. I'll bet there are some clubs on campus or in your area. What are you hobbies? If you don't have one, maybe you can pick up on a new hobby. Perhaps try a book club? Try to step out of your comfort zone and get to know some more people at your school. These are all things you can do that will take the edge off your loss of this relationship. Also, it doesn't really sound like this guy was a great match for you. Give yourself some time. Down the road you will meet someone who will be better suited to your personality, who will be proud to introduce you to his family and have you meet his circle of friends and you will fit in because you'll be better suited to him. You just need some time. Don't look at this as a reflection on you, look at it as a bullet dodged. You're going to do MUCH better than him. Link to post Share on other sites
vla1120 Posted March 8, 2022 Share Posted March 8, 2022 4 minutes ago, Kim1507 said: Am in mauritius, and i think you guys are from a different region Ah yes. Well, the other things I just suggested will work for you. Is there a website for your college that might list clubs you can join? The best thing you can do is step out of your comfort zone and try to meet some new people. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kim1507 Posted March 8, 2022 Author Share Posted March 8, 2022 I hope i’ll be able to get through this. Thank you 1 Link to post Share on other sites
vla1120 Posted March 8, 2022 Share Posted March 8, 2022 1 minute ago, Kim1507 said: I hope i’ll be able to get through this. Thank you Try to take it one day at a time, or one hour at a time when it is at its worst. Just tell yourself that somewhere down the road, you'll be able to look back on this time and it won't be so painful. You'll get through this. Find ways to distract yourself. When you start thinking about him, pick up a book or do some exercise (those endorphins are a great motivator!) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted March 8, 2022 Share Posted March 8, 2022 2 hours ago, Kim1507 said: Am a student, i dont have the means to pay for counseling. Mental health/suicide hotlines are free. They can also direct to to free resources. You need medical help. Link to post Share on other sites
LynneVicious Posted March 9, 2022 Share Posted March 9, 2022 Keep yourself occupied with new hobbies, friends, reading, studying. You will heal eventually. Time is really the only cure for this. So to pass the time, keep yourself busy. You’ll feel better by being productive and engaging in meaningful activities. Keep reminding yourself that you are the prize and he doesn’t deserve you. Move on from anyone who doesn’t want to be with you. Link to post Share on other sites
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