Wiseman2 Posted March 1, 2022 Share Posted March 1, 2022 On 2/26/2022 at 2:36 AM, John Hesketh said: I met this girl online, she is from another country. she wants me to stop text messaging her. doesnt want me to SMS her. Do not sms internationally. WhatsApp is specifically used for this reason. People use it to message over WiFi for free. The most alarming part of your situation is that she's in another country, you never met and you're searching for her social media. If someone asks you to stop SMS then do so. Also she's not required to communicate with you if she doesn't want to. Link to post Share on other sites
Author John Hesketh Posted March 1, 2022 Author Share Posted March 1, 2022 4 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: Do not sms internationally. WhatsApp is specifically used for this reason. People use it to message over WiFi for free. The most alarming part of your situation is that she's in another country, you never met and you're searching for her social media. If someone asks you to stop SMS then do so. Also she's not required to communicate with you if she doesn't want to. I have been trying so hard to make her like me or love me. But still her priorities are else where. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted March 1, 2022 Share Posted March 1, 2022 32 minutes ago, John Hesketh said: I have been trying so hard to make her like me or love me. Why not get a good profile and pics on quality dating apps and start talking to and meeting local real-life women? You can't make some you never met love you. Stop contacting her. The best chance you have of finding love is in real life with real people in person. Broaden your horizons. Join some groups and clubs, volunteer, get involved in sports and fitness, take some classes and courses. Improve your chances by meeting women in real life in person, either through dating apps or through more social activities. Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted March 1, 2022 Share Posted March 1, 2022 2 hours ago, John Hesketh said: I have been trying so hard to make her like me or love me. But still her priorities are else where. This is probably very glaring and obvious from the way you’re pursuing her. If she doesn’t want to talk to you or seems distant she’s not into you. Don’t pursue her anymore as it seems obsessive. Don’t play into false ideas of intimacy. You have hesitations about your height and meeting women locally. Why hide behind a screen indefinitely? Forget about the height issue. Some women don’t care about that. What other issues are preventing you from meeting women in person? Link to post Share on other sites
Author John Hesketh Posted March 1, 2022 Author Share Posted March 1, 2022 5 hours ago, glows said: This is probably very glaring and obvious from the way you’re pursuing her. If she doesn’t want to talk to you or seems distant she’s not into you. Don’t pursue her anymore as it seems obsessive. Don’t play into false ideas of intimacy. You have hesitations about your height and meeting women locally. Why hide behind a screen indefinitely? Forget about the height issue. Some women don’t care about that. What other issues are preventing you from meeting women in person? No other issues. Yes I think I am obsessed with her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author John Hesketh Posted March 1, 2022 Author Share Posted March 1, 2022 8 hours ago, Wiseman2 said: Do not sms internationally. WhatsApp is specifically used for this reason. People use it to message over WiFi for free. The most alarming part of your situation is that she's in another country, you never met and you're searching for her social media. If someone asks you to stop SMS then do so. Also she's not required to communicate with you if she doesn't want to. When you say she is not required to communicate with me, you mean she is not obligated to chat with me? Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted March 2, 2022 Share Posted March 2, 2022 I noticed that you've put this post in the Long Distance Relationships forum. Do the two of you refer to each other as boyfriend and girlfriend? Or is that something that you're hoping will happen? Link to post Share on other sites
Author John Hesketh Posted March 2, 2022 Author Share Posted March 2, 2022 (edited) 24 minutes ago, basil67 said: I noticed that you've put this post in the Long Distance Relationships forum. Do the two of you refer to each other as boyfriend and girlfriend? Or is that something that you're hoping will happen? well, sometimes i message her that i love her, and then she replies with i love you too..... but not sure if she really mean it or not though last night i messaged her with How you doing babe and she replied with I'm Okay. How about you. Then I messaged her again and she hasnt seen my message yet. Usually there is a long break after she sends me a message. Dont know if this is intentional or she is really busy and not checking her WhatsApp. Edited March 2, 2022 by John Hesketh Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted March 2, 2022 Share Posted March 2, 2022 14 hours ago, John Hesketh said: When you say she is not required to communicate with me, you mean she is not obligated to chat with me? Yes. You never met and you're not dating so some casual flirting isn't something anyone needs to respond to. Link to post Share on other sites
Author John Hesketh Posted March 2, 2022 Author Share Posted March 2, 2022 29 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: Yes. You never met and you're not dating so some casual flirting isn't something anyone needs to respond to. we never met but when i message her I love you she replies with I love you too. so.... Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted March 2, 2022 Share Posted March 2, 2022 17 hours ago, John Hesketh said: No other issues. Yes I think I am obsessed with her. What’s your solution to moving past this obsession? I ask as I’d like to know whether you see this going anywhere or whether you see things differently from what others are saying. You’re spending a great deal of effort and time on a person who doesn’t seem to be there for you all the time. She gives you a small comment here or there that she loves you but you don’t feel important to her and you’ve not met in person so she may not know the real you. What’s your solution to a problem that isn’t changing? Link to post Share on other sites
Author John Hesketh Posted March 2, 2022 Author Share Posted March 2, 2022 5 hours ago, glows said: What’s your solution to moving past this obsession? I ask as I’d like to know whether you see this going anywhere or whether you see things differently from what others are saying. You’re spending a great deal of effort and time on a person who doesn’t seem to be there for you all the time. She gives you a small comment here or there that she loves you but you don’t feel important to her and you’ve not met in person so she may not know the real you. What’s your solution to a problem that isn’t changing? I dont know the solution yet. The prospect of losing her terrifies me. Last night I messaged her about us getting married in the future. Surprisingly she messaged me back a bit later and didnt get offended or angry about me talking about marriage and instead she just said "Dont you think getting married is right at the moment.." Not sure what she meant by that? Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted March 2, 2022 Share Posted March 2, 2022 3 minutes ago, John Hesketh said: I messaged her about us getting married in the future.. she messaged and instead she just said "Dont you think getting married is right at the moment.." Are either of you from a country/culture/religion where there is no "dating" per se, but rather discussions turn straight to suitability for marriage? Link to post Share on other sites
Author John Hesketh Posted March 2, 2022 Author Share Posted March 2, 2022 5 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: Are either of you from a country/culture/religion where there is no "dating" per se, but rather discussions turn straight to suitability for marriage? No not really. But with her reply looks like she didnt mind me talking about marriage. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted March 2, 2022 Share Posted March 2, 2022 1 hour ago, John Hesketh said: Surprisingly she messaged me back a bit later and didnt get offended or angry about me talking about marriage and instead she just said "Dont you think getting married is right at the moment.." Not sure what she meant by that? I don't know what she meant by that either. It doesn't make grammatical sense. I can't work out if she's trying to tell you that it's too early to discuss or if it was meant to be a question. How did you meet this woman? Link to post Share on other sites
Author John Hesketh Posted March 2, 2022 Author Share Posted March 2, 2022 (edited) 6 minutes ago, basil67 said: I don't know what she meant by that either. It doesn't make grammatical sense. I can't work out if she's trying to tell you that it's too early to discuss or if it was meant to be a question. How did you meet this woman? From TikTok Maybe she meant why not marrying now because I said we get married in the future. it makes sense? Edited March 2, 2022 by John Hesketh Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted March 2, 2022 Share Posted March 2, 2022 (edited) How many followers does she have? Is her account a sexy one which would attract many men? Edited March 2, 2022 by basil67 Link to post Share on other sites
Author John Hesketh Posted March 2, 2022 Author Share Posted March 2, 2022 6 minutes ago, basil67 said: How many followers does she have? Is her account a sexy one which would attract many men? She has over 6000 followers. She only has 2 videos posted though. Nothing revealing or over the top. But she does go on Live every week For "Partying with me" "Minichat with me", "Get ready with me". I havent seen what she does on live for "Partying with me" or "Minichat with me", when i checked i just saw those titles when she was last seen on live. But I participated once or twice when she had the title "Get ready with me" which all she does is doing her make up on live which also attracts men too in the chat typing her stuff and asking her questions and she responds back to them on live. She gets a lot of attention on live, getting a lot of likes on live from some men and stuff like that. Actually I told her why she goes on live and stuff, she says she goes on live to make money.... I dont know if she really makes money by going live or how much. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted March 2, 2022 Share Posted March 2, 2022 18 minutes ago, John Hesketh said: She has over 6000 followers. she says she goes on live to make money. Ok, so she's honest about what she wants and why she talks to you. You're one of her fans and she makes money as a TikTok influencer/camworker. Link to post Share on other sites
Author John Hesketh Posted March 3, 2022 Author Share Posted March 3, 2022 5 hours ago, Wiseman2 said: Ok, so she's honest about what she wants and why she talks to you. You're one of her fans and she makes money as a TikTok influencer/camworker. But i want to be more than just a fan to her.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author John Hesketh Posted March 4, 2022 Author Share Posted March 4, 2022 why is no body helping me in here? Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted March 4, 2022 Share Posted March 4, 2022 22 minutes ago, John Hesketh said: why is no body helping me in here? Why don't you go to a physician for an evaluation of your physical and mental health? Ask for a referral to a qualified therapist for ongoing support. As far as this particular situation, you refuse to delete and block her, so the problems continue. Link to post Share on other sites
Author John Hesketh Posted March 4, 2022 Author Share Posted March 4, 2022 19 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: Why don't you go to a physician for an evaluation of your physical and mental health? Ask for a referral to a qualified therapist for ongoing support. As far as this particular situation, you refuse to delete and block her, so the problems continue. I tried to delete her, if i delete her i end up adding her again. I need to make her truly like or love me. Link to post Share on other sites
Lisa Posted March 4, 2022 Senior Moderators Share Posted March 4, 2022 Thread has been closed as it has ceased to be productive . Link to post Share on other sites
Richard Collett Posted March 10, 2022 Share Posted March 10, 2022 (edited) I met a girl online a few months ago. She lives in a different country. At first she was a bit more talkative in terms of online messaging, but over time she became less active in terms of messaging me. She suddenly disappears for days without seeing my message. When she replies here and there, in the middle of my messaging to her, she suddenly disappears for a while without seeing my message. But when she suddenly disappears for days, is this intentional or because she is very busy? if its intentional why would she do that? Edited March 10, 2022 by Richard Collett Link to post Share on other sites
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