I love you still, Dont want to lose you, help me translate

[rscrimo]

My girlfriend and I have dated for 4 years. I'm 21 and she is 19. We have always had a great relationship more than just lovers, best friends that completly understand each other. For the most part she has always been almost overly infatuated with me. In the first year or two she couldnt live with out me. The 3rd year I moved 100 miles away for college and she would always find a way somehow to get someone to drive over to see me, a few occasions it was only for an hour. She eventually got kicked out of her house and came to live with me. We were kind of forced to moved back to our hometown this past year and got a house together.

 

Money was tight so we had to suffer in this small, crappy house. Marriage was certain but we both agreed to wanted to get our degrees and start a career before we made that commitment. I finally got my life together and got my first professional job making a great salary for someone my age. Through my connections I got her a great job at the mall making $700 a week selling phones, I thought we were ready to buy a nice house together to start living nice when she tells me she is moving out to gain her indepence. I'm like what the hell does that mean. So I get the classic "I just need time apart from you to find myself, gain my independence" since I took care of everything.

 

She says she still loves me but just hasnt been happy the past 6 months whenever she was around me. So it was awkward around her for a week or two and then one night she thought I was asleep and I hear her in another room talking to a guy that works by her at the mall talking for about an hour, giggling, talking about how good looking he is and so on. I briefly confront her then leave for the night to cool off and think and I come back in the mourning and I decide to tell her to get out my house. She had nowhere to go so I was kind enough to give her a week to get out.

 

I blame myself a lot for letting this happen, I did gain a lot of weight and binge drank daily but I often asked her if it was a problem and her reply was always no I love you just the way you are. So I took the situation as a positive wake up call and got a gym membership and worked out 1-2 hours every single day pushing myself too far I think. I quit drinking the day before we broke up and havent had a drop since. I started going to church, AA meetings, other activities. I have done everything to make this a good change rather than being depressed about it in hopes that she would realize she made a big mistake. I have done my best to give her space and tried to ignore her as much as possible.

 

I still had some of her animals so I only called her to tell her we needed food for them and she has been calling me for general questions like furniture or papers I still have, or general info on how to do something, since she has no clue how to live on her own even though her parents pay all her bills now and bought her a house.

 

I recently saw her a week ago shopping with the same guy I originally caught her on the phone with. He wasnt very good looking, but I was in the best shape I have ever been in and I think she was a little dumbstruct at first sight of me since I lost 40lbs overall and 20-30lbs since she last saw me. We have been apart for only 3 months, Our anniversary was just a few days ago. I fought myself all day not to call her or send flowers or other gifts. Finally I was going to bed and my heart was pounding and it was still on my mind and I just wanted some closure to how she really felt so I gave in and called her finally. I didnt even think she remembered so I was joking around a little first and then asked her "what is today" and suprisingly she said sadly "our anniversay". So I basically told her how I took this situation as a wake up call and have been doing everything to make myself a better person so that she would either notice it or if she doesnt I still come out a better man with fewer flaws and asked her how she honestly felt about me now. I got another, I will always love you, I never wanted to hurt you, I jus felt like we were drifting apart our last months, I was a different person, I wasnt happy and so on. And I agreed I wasnt happy either but suggested it was because we were in a disguisting house, bad landlord, we both had drinking problems but all of that has changed now and I dont want to be judge for who I was for who I am. She says she is always telling everyone how good I'm doing now. At this point I get the impression to just blow her off, They dont get any better looking than her and I love her a lot but I could probably find a better person out there for me. Then she throws me a curveball as we are getting off the phone, she tells me to call her more and we can take our dog out to the beach or to do something.

 

Now I'm confused, this new guy who lives 40 miles away from her is always driving over and doing stuff together, I figured she forgot about me. I dont know if she is testing me, just being friendly, or just wants me to be the fish on the hook ready to reel in when she wants me. I think if anything she needs to be crawling back to me. I travel so much for work lately it is hard for me to date other girls to get her off my mind. I dated one girl who was great then she told me she was married and has a kid, so I said goodbye, the other was just an immature rich girl who was clueless. I know an outside perspective is usually the best, any advice?

[whereismylifegoing]

you are beat.....she's banging him right now......your girlfriend wants to taste other wieners.....move on with life

[westernxer]

Go back to college already.

 

(Think about all the chicks you're missing out on...)

[downcydeguy]

Time to move on my friend. Take your new confidence and enjoy single life for a while. It doesn't sound like she's done much to improve her life so she may wake up one day realizing she made a mistake. The great part is that you'll be long gone and enjoying somebody else's company, so she'll have to suffer for it.

 

Good luck.

[J dub]

Youre not going to want to hear this, but you are both young and plain and simple? she wants out. You cant change her mind, only support her decision and move on yourself.

 

At least you have a whole new you to present to the world, more to offer someone else