My roommate/friend nearly broke my arm for no good reason and now I am in chronic pain. Don't know how to proceed

[IrinaM]

@firefly11I'm kinda confused about the original story. Why did the two of you need to go together to investigate a possible cat outside the apartment? Why would that even be important? And why would she come get you to check for the cat with her, couldn't she just look outside by herself? Your description of the original incident seems like the presence of a cat at an apartment complex is a big deal. Which really, it isn't, so I don't understand.

I also don't understand why you would try to prank her (or whatever) by saying the cat is right behind her. Why would that startle her? A cat? This makes no sense, so I'm wondering if you are leaving something out?

[firefly11]

17 hours ago, IrinaM said:

@firefly11I'm kinda confused about the original story. Why did the two of you need to go together to investigate a possible cat outside the apartment? Why would that even be important? And why would she come get you to check for the cat with her, couldn't she just look outside by herself? Your description of the original incident seems like the presence of a cat at an apartment complex is a big deal. Which really, it isn't, so I don't understand.

I also don't understand why you would try to prank her (or whatever) by saying the cat is right behind her. Why would that startle her? A cat? This makes no sense, so I'm wondering if you are leaving something out?

Idk why she asked me to go out with her. I also thought a cat's presence outside of the main door wasn't that big of a deal, even thought it is unusual, so I didn't even think about what I said I said it spontaneously as a joke. I didn't even think I was pranking. I'm not a big fan of pranks they can be harmful. I wouldn't say that if it was a harmful animal. Cats aren't even scary that's why I just said what I said it's just a cat. She reacted as if I told her there was a snake behind you or something like that. I had never done jokes or pranks with her, I never bothered her, so it isn't like it was the last drop in the vase. Also our relationship didn't have tensions we were just friendly roomies. We sometimes ordered food together and such. Also a few days before I cooked for her and we ate together. I was very surprised by her reaction. Maybe she was stressed out and took it out on me. I could understand she would push me or hit one or two times from being startled but she did this 4-5 times and with increasing force. If we had a strained relationship and I was bothering or harassing her I would get the violence. Idk, maybe she thought her hits wouldn't have that much of an impact. Even she wouldn't be able to justify the way she reacted because she lied to me the next morning and told me you are dreaming that I hit you. Why would she lie if she wasn't at fault. What else would she say? That she broke my arm for this? 

However my pain didn't subside and I have to pull myself together to go and wash my plates cz I have to mainly use one arm. No more energy to save the relationship, can't pour from an empty cup. I didn't leave any detail out. I am as confused as you are and I'm perplex. She had never told me cats scare her or something she always spoke about them neutrally. Hope that clarified things.

 

Edited March 15, 2022 by firefly11

[IrinaM]

it did thanks. I hate to say this but I think it's a good idea to find a new place to live, and see a physical therapist. they can work wonders.

[firefly11]

1 hour ago, IrinaM said:

it did thanks. I hate to say this but I think it's a good idea to find a new place to live, and see a physical therapist. they can work wonders.

I am seeing one it's good. Also I am moving out soon.

[dramafreezone]

On 3/13/2022 at 3:47 AM, Ha-ha said:

Come on. She was startled. Her reaction might be extreme but you brought it onto yourself by pranking.  Assault is an over reaction from litigious society like the US. 
 

Don’t prank people, you don’t know what would happen. As to your question, lesson learnt, move on. If the pain continues, since you have full insurance coverage, go and see a doctor. 

Yes, I don't condone her really hurting you, but don't prank people if you don't know if they can handle it or not.  I'm sure that there are people that have been accidentally killed because they wanted to prank someone that didn't know they were being pranked.

I don't mean this to "victim blame" but this is for your own safety in the future.  Its about not unnecessarily putting yourself at greater risk for someone to act irrationally towards you. 

She also sounds like a very callous/cruel person, but that's all the more reason not to joke with people that you don't know that well.

[Mrin]

Dude here. From a dude's perspective, we show affection for each other through physical assault and ridicule. Lol. So keep that in mind with what I say below. Yes I realize you are a woman and your roomie is also a woman.

I'm going to take a contrarian opinion. You guys were jacking around with each other. You did the whole "OMG it's right behind you!" thing (which I'll admit I would have done too) and it startled her and she punched you a few times in the arm. I don't think she meant anything malicious by it and I don't think you meant anything malicious by your startle tease. It was just a thing.

If you do incur any medical bills then she should help pay for them if your insurance doesn't already cover it. It's really no different than if you were wrestling and she dislocated your arm. It's just the right thing to do. That being said, you got punched in the arm a few times. It's not like you blew out your ACL and need to go get an MRI or see $500 a visit specialist unless your primary care physicians thinks so. You just need to be made whole financially. It's the right thing to do and she should do it.

I think some of the posters on this thread are WAY over the top with talking about criminal complaints, abuse and personal injury lawsuits. Holylitigation Batman!

[firefly11]

3 hours ago, Mrin said:

Dude here. From a dude's perspective, we show affection for each other through physical assault and ridicule. Lol. So keep that in mind with what I say below. Yes I realize you are a woman and your roomie is also a woman.

I'm going to take a contrarian opinion. You guys were jacking around with each other. You did the whole "OMG it's right behind you!" thing (which I'll admit I would have done too) and it startled her and she punched you a few times in the arm. I don't think she meant anything malicious by it and I don't think you meant anything malicious by your startle tease. It was just a thing.

If you do incur any medical bills then she should help pay for them if your insurance doesn't already cover it. It's really no different than if you were wrestling and she dislocated your arm. It's just the right thing to do. That being said, you got punched in the arm a few times. It's not like you blew out your ACL and need to go get an MRI or see $500 a visit specialist unless your primary care physicians thinks so. You just need to be made whole financially. It's the right thing to do and she should do it.

I think some of the posters on this thread are WAY over the top with talking about criminal complaints, abuse and personal injury lawsuits. Holylitigation Batman!

You are right in everything you said you described it pretty accurately actually.

However I am already seeing a specialist and he said it is likely he will ask for an MRI because it didn't improve that much after physical therapy, especially that the injury was 4 months ago.  Going to him in a couple days. Thankfully it's covered by my university insurance. The insurance expires in 2 months so I have to focus the treatment needed in this time frame.

Edited March 17, 2022 by firefly11

[Wiseman2]

On 3/12/2022 at 2:31 PM, firefly11 said:

 my arm was formerly operated 17 years ago when I was a child

An injury from 17 years ago should be healed by now. In fact an injury from 4 months ago should be better by now as well.

You won't do anything about it legally so all you can do is see what's up with the imaging.  

There's more to this than a broken arm 17 years ago. Or whatever altercation took place 4 months ago.

Ask for a referral to a qualified therapist for ongoing support. This is more than just an arm injury situation.