Hoping for a second chance

[Positive_ID]

Hello LoveShack Users,

I was hoping to get some advice. I met this incredible woman back in the middle of October, the 15th to be exact. Some back story, I'm 41, she's 33. We started things off pretty slowly, but eventually it evolved into a relationship. We got along so well and I have never felt myself wanting to be with another person as long as I have lived. I genuinely fell really hard for her. I myself have 2 kids, 21 and 9. She has 3 kids, 6 and twins that just turned 4. She's been divorced from her ex for 3+ years, I'm currently in the ending stages of my divorce (should be finalized in a month). We both love comedy, and going out together. The only hang-up I had, was she wouldn't allow me to meet anyone close to her, or her kids until my divorce was finalized (a little odd for me, but okay I get it). We have never had a single fight or argument. We got along so incredibly well. Had a healthy intimate life, and were always incredibly close with each other. The only issue that she had, was that we both have two different love languages. Mine are Touch and Words of Affirmation, hers were Acts of Service and Quality Time. Up until this last Monday (03/07/2022) we were always so touchy towards each other. She came over to my place, we kissed and hugged as soon as she arrived, we then went out for Chinese food, had a great dinner with conversation then came back to my place. We sat on the couch and talked for approximately 30 or so minutes before I turned on the TV and we began to watch a series of comedy specials. We both laughed, but I could tell she seemed distant. She usually was into holding hands, rubbing my back, or just touching me in general. She didn't do any of the sort this time. I held her hand but it just didn't feel right. She said she was cold so I grabbed a blanket and covered us both up with it and cuddled close to her. I kept asking her what was wrong and she kept reassuring me that nothing was wrong, she just wasn't feeling well. At the end of the night she got up to leave to go back to her house. I hugged and kissed her and she left. She texted me as soon as she got home letting me know she made it safely and that she was going to lay down since she was tired. We said goodnight and that was that. The next morning when I got up I texted her good morning and she responded with the same, but her responses to my messages became fewer and far between. Now I want to clarify, I don't, nor ever expected her to drop everything to reply to every message I sent. I completely understand if she was busy, or had something else going on, but we're talking about going from a lot of texting throughout the day, to maybe less than 10 total responses in a 24hr span. Something definitely felt off. We were at this point, hanging out at each others places 3 or more times a week, typically every Monday, Wednesday, and either Friday or Saturday (depending on when she had her kids). Wednesday rolls around and I'm excited to see her again that night after work! So our usual good morning conversation happens, but again its feeling quite forced. I'm getting ready to leave work and I text her that I'm heading home. I get home and notice that there's been no response (usually she texts me about 10 to 15 minutes after I let her know I'm home to tell me she's coming over). Again, I thought maybe she was stuck at her work or just got busy doing something. Hours go by with no response. Eventually around 9:30pm (I've been home for about 2 hours at this point), I text her and ask her if I said something or did something that upset her and can we talk about it? I'll now outline her exact responses below. I'll label her texts H: for Her, and M: for Me.

[redacted]

So there it is, I got dumped over text (and to explain that, we only text because the microphone on my phone is broken and nobody can hear me if they call). I'm really wondering if this is salvageable, and if so how do I go about doing so. I've gone NC (no contact) since this text exchange Wednesday night. Any advice that someone might have that's salvaged a relationship is greatly appreciated! Thank you all for reading this, and thank you in advance for any advice that you all may have!

Edited March 16, 2022 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
direct quotes redacted due to breach of privacy of 3rd party

[Wiseman2]

23 minutes ago, Positive_ID said:

She's been divorced from her ex for 3+ years, I'm currently in the ending stages of my divorce (should be finalized in a month). We both love comedy, and going out together. The only hang-up I had, was she wouldn't allow me to meet anyone close to her, or her kids until my divorce was finalized

Sorry this happened. Clearly she was protecting herself and her kids as she should.

You only dated 6 mos. and although there were good times, she is correct that you need to be free and clear legally and emotionally before she invests more.

Yes work on getting the divorce behind you. That is the first step. Adjust to single life  before you start dating again. No on wants to be the rebound or in the shadows of a very recent ex.

Edited March 13, 2022 by Wiseman2

[John Glasby]

Man, I'm sorry. It hurt to read that and see it unfolding. For what it's worth, you handled it like a true gentleman, and should feel good about that. When you reflect on things, you can always know you handled the entire situation with dignity and class - and she will reflect on this too, for sure. 

[glows]

I doubt it has anything to do with love languages.

Do you raise your kids differently? Different parenting? Different attitudes in regards to money management? Differences in family relationships and the way family is involved in decisions? Are you happy with your job and have purpose or job satisfaction? Do you still live in the marital home or do you live with anyone currently? How’s your coparenting with the mother of your kids? Is the mother of your kids bitter or resentful? These topics and more are just the tip of the iceberg.

I think it’s very reasonable not to introduce you to her kids until your divorce is finalized.

You’re much better off focusing on yourself, continuing to be there for your kids and letting her go.

 

Edited March 14, 2022 by glows

[Positive_ID]

I want to thank you all for replying. Even though this was a short lived relationship, it has been one of the hardest breakups I've had to endure. I just feel so absolutely blindsided and confused by the way it all ended. I'll do my best to respond to each of you and answer any questions or comments. 

16 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

Sorry this happened. Clearly she was protecting herself and her kids as she should.

You only dated 6 mos. and although there were good times, she is correct that you need to be free and clear legally and emotionally before she invests more.

Yes work on getting the divorce behind you. That is the first step. Adjust to single life  before you start dating again. No on wants to be the rebound or in the shadows of a very recent ex.

Thank you so very much for the advice. I agree with you about being legally and emotionally before she invests more, but we discussed my situation before our very first date. She admitted it wasn't what she was expecting at the time but she was absolutely okay with it knowing that I was moving forward with the divorce. My (soon to be ex) wife and I have been separated for several years. We co-parent incredibly and ended things on a mutual agreement that we simply didn't work back in 2019. I spent a good amount of time in therapy working on myself before even considering another relationship. Other than legally, I am free and clear from that previous relationship.

10 hours ago, John Glasby said:

Man, I'm sorry. It hurt to read that and see it unfolding. For what it's worth, you handled it like a true gentleman, and should feel good about that. When you reflect on things, you can always know you handled the entire situation with dignity and class - and she will reflect on this too, for sure. 

Thank you so much for the kind words. I absolutely love this woman, so the last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt her or make her feel uncomfortable with the way things were ending. Hopefully with the way I ended things, she can see this possibly in the future see that I am worth giving another chance to!

7 hours ago, glows said:

I doubt it has anything to do with love languages.

Do you raise your kids differently? Different parenting? Different attitudes in regards to money management? Differences in family relationships and the way family is involved in decisions? Are you happy with your job and have purpose or job satisfaction? Do you still live in the marital home or do you live with anyone currently? How’s your coparenting with the mother of your kids? Is the mother of your kids bitter or resentful? These topics and more are just the tip of the iceberg.

I think it’s very reasonable not to introduce you to her kids until your divorce is finalized.

You’re much better off focusing on yourself, continuing to be there for your kids and letting her go.

 

Do you raise your kids differently?

 - We're very much alike in our parental styles. We are very involved in our kids lives and want the absolute best for them. I should also state that early in the relationship we discussed blending our families and before she told me she wanted me to be divorced she told me that one of the twins is autistic. She opened up and told me that she was extremely afraid of judgement being passed on her son due to this and she was afraid I'd not be able to handle her son due to this.

Different parenting?

 - I don't understand what you mean by different parenting? Maybe my answer to the previous question hit on this?

Different attitudes in regards to money management?

 - She does have a bit of savings. She mentioned its close to 20k saved away. Recently due to the divorce, I've had to deplete a good portion of my savings due to the divorce. I had to share half of my savings with my (soon to be ex) wife due to the divorce, plus I've been helping her financially with more than I'm expected because she lost her job. Also add in the cost of my attorney I'm down to nearly no savings at this point. Maybe this is it?

Differences in family relationships and the way family is involved in decisions?

- We are a lot alike in this as well. We both are incredibly involved in our children's lives.

Are you happy with your job and have purpose or job satisfaction? 

- There was a time when I was dissatisfied with my job and I opened up to her about my feelings. I told her maybe I was considering looking for another job because I didn't feel challenged as well as feeling underappreciated at my job. She was totally open to supporting whatever I wanted to do and offered to help me in whichever avenue I choose to explore. In the end after talking with the director at my position I did get the promotion I was hoping for and I am feeling much more satisfied with my job. I was open with her about this and she felt extremely proud of my for handling this and getting what I wanted.

Do you still live in the marital home or do you live with anyone currently?

- I still live in the home, but this was another topic that was discussed before we actually stated dating. She assured me she was okay with it and didn't mind that I was here. The house is currently for sale and I'm searching for a place to move to. She was openly helping me with this and we were discussing location proximity to where she lived. Also I live alone (outside of when my daughter comes to stay during our visit times).

How’s your coparenting with the mother of your kids?

- We get along well. We do whats best for our daughter and make sure she is considered above all else

Is the mother of your kids bitter or resentful? 

- No she is not. We both went through counseling at the end of our relationship to work so that we can both be the best parent for our daughter. There is no animosity towards one another at all.

These topics and more are just the tip of the iceberg.

Thank you so much for the questions and responding. Hopefully my answers shed some light on the situation.

Edited March 14, 2022 by Positive_ID

[glows]

38 minutes ago, Positive_ID said:

I want to thank you all for replying. Even though this was a short lived relationship, it has been one of the hardest breakups I've had to endure. I just feel so absolutely blindsided and confused by the way it all ended. I'll do my best to respond to each of you and answer any questions or comments. 

Thank you so very much for the advice. I agree with you about being legally and emotionally before she invests more, but we discussed my situation before our very first date. She admitted it wasn't what she was expecting at the time but she was absolutely okay with it knowing that I was moving forward with the divorce. My (soon to be ex) wife and I have been separated for several years. We co-parent incredibly and ended things on a mutual agreement that we simply didn't work back in 2019. I spent a good amount of time in therapy working on myself before even considering another relationship. Other than legally, I am free and clear from that previous relationship.

Thank you so much for the kind words. I absolutely love this woman, so the last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt her or make her feel uncomfortable with the way things were ending. Hopefully with the way I ended things, she can see this possibly in the future see that I am worth giving another chance to!

Do you raise your kids differently?

 - We're very much alike in our parental styles. We are very involved in our kids lives and want the absolute best for them. I should also state that early in the relationship we discussed blending our families and before she told me she wanted me to be divorced she told me that one of the twins is autistic. She opened up and told me that she was extremely afraid of judgement being passed on her son due to this and she was afraid I'd not be able to handle her son due to this.

Different parenting?

 - I don't understand what you mean by different parenting? Maybe my answer to the previous question hit on this?

Different attitudes in regards to money management?

 - She does have a bit of savings. She mentioned its close to 20k saved away. Recently due to the divorce, I've had to deplete a good portion of my savings due to the divorce. I had to share half of my savings with my (soon to be ex) wife due to the divorce, plus I've been helping her financially with more than I'm expected because she lost her job. Also add in the cost of my attorney I'm down to nearly no savings at this point. Maybe this is it?

Differences in family relationships and the way family is involved in decisions?

- We are a lot alike in this as well. We both are incredibly involved in our children's lives.

Are you happy with your job and have purpose or job satisfaction? 

- There was a time when I was dissatisfied with my job and I opened up to her about my feelings. I told her maybe I was considering looking for another job because I didn't feel challenged as well as feeling underappreciated at my job. She was totally open to supporting whatever I wanted to do and offered to help me in whichever avenue I choose to explore. In the end after talking with the director at my position I did get the promotion I was hoping for and I am feeling much more satisfied with my job. I was open with her about this and she felt extremely proud of my for handling this and getting what I wanted.

Do you still live in the marital home or do you live with anyone currently?

- I still live in the home, but this was another topic that was discussed before we actually stated dating. She assured me she was okay with it and didn't mind that I was here. The house is currently for sale and I'm searching for a place to move to. She was openly helping me with this and we were discussing location proximity to where she lived. Also I live alone (outside of when my daughter comes to stay during our visit times).

How’s your coparenting with the mother of your kids?

- We get along well. We do whats best for our daughter and make sure she is considered above all else

Is the mother of your kids bitter or resentful? 

- No she is not. We both went through counseling at the end of our relationship to work so that we can both be the best parent for our daughter. There is no animosity towards one another at all.

These topics and more are just the tip of the iceberg.

Thank you so much for the questions and responding. Hopefully my answers shed some light on the situation.

Thanks for sharing these details. I can see why you feel blindsided. What she suggested in not seeing a “long term” with you also suggests that your interpretation of your relationship may greatly differ from hers. I’d consider lifestyle choices and that the divorce is taking a toll on you. 

Looking over and reread your first post again, she did actually cite the love languages being an issue so your need for touch and words of affirmation may exceed what she feels comfortable with. The subtext for this is that she just doesn’t feel the same way about you. When someone is deeply affectionate and feels that spark or passion for someone in a relationship that person will be inspired to touch or express themselves with words. I don’t think she might have felt that with you or this wasn’t want she was searching for. It doesn’t stop someone from being affectionate and supportive as she has been in many instances with you but that spark or chemistry just isn’t there for her.

Naturally when there’s a break up we want to heal or desperately fix the pain or void regardless of who initiated it. It’s painful. Your first thoughts are to salvage the relationship but I think you’re in a state of pain, feeling loss and confused. Give yourself a few more weeks for this to sink in. It’s much more respectful to respect a person’s actions and words than to keep pushing for an outcome that you want. Give yourself more time to adjust to the breakup and get back to a new routine without her.  

Edited March 14, 2022 by glows

[lonelyplanetmoon]

10 hours ago, Positive_ID said:

 

 - She does have a bit of savings. She mentioned its close to 20k saved away. Recently due to the divorce, I've had to deplete a good portion of my savings due to the divorce. I had to share half of my savings with my (soon to be ex) wife due to the divorce, plus I've been helping her financially with more than I'm expected because she lost her job. Also add in the cost of my attorney I'm down to nearly no savings at this point. Maybe this is it?

This is it. You have depleted your savings/ have no savings while giving your ex extra support.  While this is a nice thing to do.  It would make her question whether she would ever be a priority to you.  What would life be like? She sacrifices and saves while you sacrifice and save only to pay the ex?

Hence the see no future comment.

So did you ever find out from her what her definition of quality time was?  I know it is hard to really see things but do you think that perhaps things were a little one sided?  You got what you needed but perhaps she did not?

 

 

[Wiseman2]

Unfortunately as long as you are legally married it will be hard to find someone. 

It doesn't matter what you tell them about how over it is or about how it's just co-parenting.

It makes you unavailable for any commitment and they know that so smart women aren't going to invest in a losing situation.

[Positive_ID]

23 hours ago, lonelyplanetmoon said:

This is it. You have depleted your savings/ have no savings while giving your ex extra support.  While this is a nice thing to do.  It would make her question whether she would ever be a priority to you.  What would life be like? She sacrifices and saves while you sacrifice and save only to pay the ex?

I probably should have worded this better. Me giving money to my ex was not by choice. I was required to pay her X amount through child support, when she lost her job her attorney refiled paperwork and my child support drastically increased, thus me needing to pay more money to her. I appreciate your comment and you very well could be correct. Thank you so much for the kind words.

 

23 hours ago, lonelyplanetmoon said:

So did you ever find out from her what her definition of quality time was?  I know it is hard to really see things but do you think that perhaps things were a little one sided?  You got what you needed but perhaps she did not?

She never would tell me what she meant by quality time. I made it a point to always take her out to dinner at least once a week, always took time to talk and discuss her day and what was going on in her life, as well as always trying to include her in plan making. She always said "I don't care as long as I'm spending time with you" when it came to plans.

[Positive_ID]

11 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

Unfortunately as long as you are legally married it will be hard to find someone. 

It doesn't matter what you tell them about how over it is or about how it's just co-parenting.

It makes you unavailable for any commitment and they know that so smart women aren't going to invest in a losing situation.

I'm learning this now, unfortunately the absolute hard way. Thank you for your comment and talking with me. Discussing this with you all has made this a tiny bit easier.

[poppyfields]

This was a painful read, I'm so sorry OP   glad LS was able to help some.

Yes it does help to talk it out and hope you will continue to do. 

I really don't have anything of value to add except it WILL get better, time heals.

Not sure if you're into hugs, but here's one from me (((hugs))).

[Positive_ID]

On 3/16/2022 at 11:55 AM, poppyfields said:

This was a painful read, I'm so sorry OP   glad LS was able to help some.

Yes it does help to talk it out and hope you will continue to do. 

I really don't have anything of value to add except it WILL get better, time heals.

Not sure if you're into hugs, but here's one from me (((hugs))).

Thank you, I absolutely could use a hug. I feel so lost, so heartbroken, and so incredibly depressed.

[ ] 

 

Edited March 17, 2022 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
removed reference to hidden content.

[Positive_ID]

I suppose I should give an update on this.

I had gone NC since the breakup. Didn't beg her to come back, didn't message her at all. Just complete no contact. This past monday (May 2nd)  my ex contacted me asking if I would be willing to meet up and talk. To say my heart leapt with excitement is an understatement. I tried to remain hopeful, yet cautious but I won't lie.
 

I was extremely hopeful that she wanted to give us another shot. Against my friends advice I agreed, but told her under the condition that it was someplace quiet and during the day.

 

We set the time for 6pm and at a small quiet park. I left extra early, went to a florist and bought her a 2 dozen roses bouquet of flowers. I pulled up and she was already sitting under a patio.

 

I walked up and it felt extremely awkward. I opened with a simple "Hello, how was your day." small talk. After a minute or two of small talk, I asked her why she wanted to meet. She said she felt incredibly guilty about how the breakup happened, and wanted to explain more about what she was feeling. She told me she was sorry about how she basically just told me she didn't think we were right for each other, and how she ghosted me without more explanation.

 

She told me the reason she felt that we weren't going to work out was because she felt I wasn't financially responsible. I must have gotten an extremely confused look on my face because she asked me if I understood what she meant. I told her I had no idea.

 

She told me she was under the impression that I wasn't paying my bills, and just letting things slip by. I looked at her and asked her where she came up with this. She said that back in December I had to ask my parents to borrow money (small backstory, my furnace blew up in the house I owned and I had to shell out a lot for a new furnace in the middle of winter so yeah, I had to borrow a few hundred bucks from my parents to pay bills which I repaid on my following paycheck).

 

I reminded her that my furnace blew up (she knew about this because I stayed with her during the weekend when the new furnace was being installed, and told her that yeah I had to borrow a few hundred bucks from my parents to pay a few bills but I ultimately payed then back on my following paycheck. I even pulled up my bank statement on my phone right in front of her and showed her the proof of this.

 

She then told me that there was a time in Feb when she had to buy me groceries. Again, I had to remind her that this was because my debit card got stolen and I had to request a new one and didn't have funds to buy groceries, but how I paid her back as soon as I got my new card. She knew of all these instances, and when I reminded her of them during this meeting, she would say something along the lines of, oh yeah I forgot. It felt very strange during this meeting.

 

I asked her if there were any other reasons she had left me, then she let me know it was also due to a disparity in our incomes. She makes almost twice as much as I do, and I told her I didn't care about the money and it was never about the money for me. I legitimately only cared about her. I then asked her why she never felt comfortable introducing me to her kids.

 

I told her that this really impacted me, and has bothered me for quite some time. She said that she mentioned in December about us introducing our kids together, but she didn't think I wanted to because again, she thought I had financial issues. I explained that yeah, during that time it would have been difficult to me due to unexpected financial circumstances (furnace blowing up), but that I really wanted to meet them.

 

She said after that, she didn't want me to meet her kids because one of her sons is autistic and she didn't want me judging him unfairly. This threw me for a loop because I am autistic (high functioning) and she knows this. I kind of got a little confused, and asked her to just be honest with me and stop attempting to protect my feelings or whatever was going on. She then started crying, and told me she wasn't sure if she was ready for a serious relationship.

 

She told me that being a mom to 3 young kids, and balancing their lives, their activities, and her work life has been absolutely destroying her for some time now. She said she didn't have time in her life for me currently. I thanked her for being honest, gave her a hug and sort of held her for a bit while she cried into my chest. I told her that I loved her, and I was sorry that she was under such extreme stress. We both sat back down, and talked for another 3+ hours until nightfall.

 

She started to yawn towards the end, and I asked her if she wanted to go home. She said yes, and that she had planned to walk home. I told her that was ridiculous and that I would drive her home since it was starting to get chilly. She thanked me and we both walked towards my car. Up until this moment I had forgotten about the flowers completely. She opened the door and the roses were there in the front seat. She broke down again and began sobbing, I told her I'm sorry and that I forgot about them and told her I got them for her.

 

She began to profusely thank me for the flowers, and got in. She had a huge smile on her face on the ride home and we were still chatting and laughing at this point. I pulled into her driveway and she reached across and gave me another big hug. I thanked her for meeting me and being honest about her feelings. She got out and waved goodbye as she walked up to her house. So that was that.

 

Now for my feelings. I ultimately felt broken leaving that night. I felt a lot of hurt but I had my closure. It didn't work out, and that's completely okay. We've since been texting and chatted on the phone a few times. I'm not ready to date again, I have some healing to do.

 

She told me she's not planning to date anyone anytime soon, and she's not sure if she ever really wants to be in any sort of relationship again. She told me that I'm a great man, and that I should have no issues finding a great woman. In some odd way, I wish things had ended up differently. Her biggest flaw if I've learned anything is communication.

 

She formed all these opinions of me that were ultimately untrue and never attempted to discuss them, but that's not my issues, its hers and I can't make someone do something they aren't willing to do. So yeah, there is is LoveShack users.

 

Ultimately, I wish I had this amazing happy ending to give you, but alas I do not. It's not a bad ending exactly. I want to thank each and everyone of you for listening to my little story.

 

- Joe

Edited May 4, 2022 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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[BrinnM]

I wonder why she made the effort to ask for a meeting. Makes no sense. At least you know now what her alleged reasons were (money?), but still. She could’ve just let it be. 

[John Glasby]

Is it possible she was just feeling out the situation to see if you were still interested?  

I would not be surprised if this is not the last you hear from her.  What do you think?  Did you sense she was done and just wanted to provide closure? The fact that you're still texting and talking by phone indicates to me she's not done with the relationship, and perhaps wanting to keep a lifeline to it. How would you feel about that?

John

[Wiseman2]

Sorry this happened. She ended it because your divorce wasn't final, no?

It was just 6 mos dating. This meeting was weird. Almost like she needed some type of so-called "closure".

Basically you're incompatible and this was more proof of that. Hopefully it provided closure for you as well and you can move forward in peace.

[Positive_ID]

11 hours ago, BrinnM said:

I wonder why she made the effort to ask for a meeting. Makes no sense. At least you know now what her alleged reasons were (money?), but still. She could’ve just let it be. 

As to why she asked for a meeting, I'm not entirely sure. She told me she felt guilty as to why things ended the way they did and wanted to give me proper closure. That being said, I do agree it was a little strange.

7 hours ago, John Glasby said:

Is it possible she was just feeling out the situation to see if you were still interested?  

I would not be surprised if this is not the last you hear from her.  What do you think?  Did you sense she was done and just wanted to provide closure? The fact that you're still texting and talking by phone indicates to me she's not done with the relationship, and perhaps wanting to keep a lifeline to it. How would you feel about that?

John

That very well could be a possibility. I'm not the best at reading into situations, so it could be that she was interested in seeing if I was still interested in her. As to what do I think about it? I feel torn to be honest. My heart obviously wants her, but my head says that her reasoning was really strange and I feel like I sort of dodged a bullet if that makes sense? Maybe she did want closure, I'm not entirely sure. How do I feel that she wants to keep a lifeline to me? Honestly, not very good. I shouldn't be a backup plan or option and what you are saying kind of has me reevaluating the "friendship" at this point. You've definitely given me a new perspective and I think I have to step away from her for a few days and legitimately think is this something I want or am willing to go through.

 

4 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

Sorry this happened. She ended it because your divorce wasn't final, no?

It was just 6 mos dating. This meeting was weird. Almost like she needed some type of so-called "closure".

Basically you're incompatible and this was more proof of that. Hopefully it provided closure for you as well and you can move forward in peace.

I did ask her about the divorce and if that had anything to do with her leaving during our meeting. She told me she didn't have a problem at all with this as it was moving forward and she knew there was an end in sight. It was 6 months of dating and you are right, it did feel weird and after reading a few other comments I'm wondering if she wanted closure for herself. I completely agree, in the end I saw that we were incompatible and it was proof of that. I did get my closure and I felt a huge relief upon finding out her reasons (as strange as I think they were). I can now move on with my life and begin healing.

[S2B]

Is your divorce final now?

 

the OW let you know she doesn’t feel you earn enough money for her standards. That was what she said during your meeting. Unless you can start earning more than she does - she isn’t going to find you as a long term partner.

she needs security. That’s the bottom line.