tanyatheloser Posted October 22, 2005 Share Posted October 22, 2005 i'm not sure if this should be posted here so please forgive me if it isn't well, i haven't been in many relationships, two to be exact. but it is the first one i wish to talk about. yes this is another one of those "was it emotional abuse?" topics, and "does it explain why i am the way i am?" we were together for quite a while, but we hardly saw eachother in the time that we were together (it was last year), he always made excuses for not going to places with me, he never even came over to see me (he was a horrible boyfriend i know, i don't need to be told that, i just don't know if it was actual emotional abuse) he used to get angry over any little thing, he refused to answer phone calls to me, he would disappear for days without telling me and then shout at me when i told him i was worried, he hated me showing my feelings, he put me down a lot, especially related to my looks, he even once suggested cosmetic surgery and there is more but i don't want to post it here on a public board. after the relationship, i felt so beaten inside that i actually thought that i couldn't live without him, i later realised what a fool i had been, but i think it's still affecting me. i still feel extremely insecure about myself and i get emotional over even the smallest of things, i'm much more clingy now too, i can't help it, i found the man of my dreams after i was dumped by the "bad boyfriend" and i blame myself for losing him, he was perfect and understood all that i had been through, he really was amazing and i miss him so so much, i wish that i could have him back. he says he stopped loving me, but said he didn't know why. could what i had in the previous relationship have been abuse? and could it have affected me to the extent that i am now cursing my new relationships before i begin? i know that i'm much more loving and extremely clingy, i worry lots and suffer anxiety attacks of losing people (well at least i did with the perfect boyfriend, i used to panic to my friends about losing him, i loved and still love him so much) and i really feel that it was my fault. was it abuse and has it ruined me? do i need to find help for this? Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted October 22, 2005 Share Posted October 22, 2005 was it abuse and has it ruined me? do i need to find help for this Yes, possibly, and absolutely. Link to post Share on other sites
Tiny Posted October 22, 2005 Share Posted October 22, 2005 Sounds like you deserve a whole lot better, I feel for you Link to post Share on other sites
guest975123900 Posted November 15, 2005 Share Posted November 15, 2005 It was abuse, and you're not a loser - change your name to 'tanyathegreat' and go to a self-esteem/assertiveness workshop! Link to post Share on other sites
JohnJohn Posted November 25, 2005 Share Posted November 25, 2005 Yes it is emotional abuse. He's withdrawing from you, which is a form of abuse. Read the below link about emotional abuse. It made me realize that I wasn't crazy. [COLOR=#800080]Control Freaks[/COLOR] Link to post Share on other sites
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