She got mad/jealous over a message thread when we're not official?

[MrGreenJeans95]

Hi guys, so I’ve been seeing this girl for a few months. And things have been going well, we talk almost everyday on the phone, she calls me most of the time, and, if this matters, we have been hooking up as well.. So I posted a instagram story of my guy friend sending me jokingly/funny sexual messages that I thought were funny, and other people thought so as well, got a lot of laughing emoji responses. I covered my friends name because he didn’t want people to know it was him. Anyways, the girl I’m talking to saw it and she then she unadded on Snapchat and twitter. So I knew something was wrong and I called her to ask if she was okay and she said that what I posted pissed her off, hurt her and made her jealous.. She thought it was a girl and I tried talking to her about it, considering her feelings, reassuring her and telling her it was a guy, I even showed her but she’s like “you could’ve changed the name” and didn’t really want to talk about it so we hung up for the night.  I then called her the next morning and she was real short/not engaging then eventually asked “so why did you call?” I was like what?? And then she ended the conversation shortly after, then we didn’t talk the rest of the day, but then she’s liking my memes on Facebook and sent  me a year ago memory last night and an hour ago (didn’t respond to either one) but  she won’t talk to me? 
 

I don’t know if she’s that upset or if she’s just messing with me at this point, I tried talking to her about it, I don’t know what else to do. It’s like she wants to be mad at me? Trying to make me chase her? Idk that’s what I’m feeling at this point. This has been going on for 3 days

Edited March 15, 2022 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
language

[BaileyB]

I’m sorry, but I’m trying to understand why you thought it would be a good idea to post something like that for everyone to see. 

I say, apologize and then give it some space and time. If she loves you, she will accept your apology. 

In the future, consider how what you post online will be interested by others - your girlfriend, your employer. Sure, your friends thought it was hilarious - at least, that’s what they told you. 

[Alvi]

The casual or FWB arrangements work till at some point they stop working. You are at the point where it is no longer working since she developed more feelings for you. So either make it official with her or let her go by breaking this (whatever you have) off. Obviously, she got upset when she thought that you are talking and/or dating another girl.

P.S. Be very careful about what you choose to post on-line, make sure it doesn't offend anybody. I know one guy who got fired because he posted some lewd sexual jokes about women on the Facebook. In his opinion, this was funny. I rolled my eyes and said ha ha ha to him. But apparently his employer wasn't impressed.

[smackie9]

This should go to show you her true colours. Jealously, acting childish, refusing to listen to you, stonewalling you, being short with you acting like a big crazy baby, playing mind games. Dude run...run for the hills!

[NuevoYorko]

Are you and your guy friend having some kind of bisexual flirtation or relationship?  

[MrGreenJeans95]

3 hours ago, NuevoYorko said:

Are you and your guy friend having some kind of bisexual flirtation or relationship?  

No haha it was just guy stupid talk 

Edited March 15, 2022 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[Uruktopi]

Some years ago I dated a lady and for few months we were in the usual period of mutual dyscovery and some better hopes.

I found she had an habit of sexually charged teasing with others that in her mind had a kind of humour that I didn´t find so funny or tasteful.

When I broke with her she thought I was jealous with no justification.

I told her that I found her style to be within her rights but also not compatible with my expectations.

So in excercise of my own rights I hoped her a good remaining of the XXI century.

As she didn´t understood some part of my choice taking it as ridiculous I ended blocking her in all media.

May be you may find this experience to be alien to you but perhaps useful to understand other also valid views.      

Best wishes.

Edited March 15, 2022 by Uruktopi

[MrGreenJeans95]

38 minutes ago, Uruktopi said:

Some years ago I dated a lady and for few months we were in the usual period of mutual dyscovery and some better hopes.

I found she had an habit of sexually charged teasing with others that in her mind had a kind of humour that I didn´t find so funny or tasteful.

When I broke with her she thought I was jealous with no justification.

I told her that I found her style to be within her rights but also not compatible with my expectations.

So in excercise of my own rights I hoped her a good remaining of the XXI century.

As she didn´t understood some part of my choice taking it as ridiculous I ended blocking her in all media.

May be you may find this experience to be alien to you but perhaps useful to understand other also valid views.      

Best wishes.

But I literally tried talking to her and telling her it was my guy friend just messing around with me and it’s like she doesn’t want to believe me.. I called her three times trying to talk this out but she won’t listen 

Edited March 15, 2022 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[ExpatInItaly]

4 hours ago, AJorquez said:

I called her three times trying to talk this out but she won’t listen 

Then there is nothing more you can do. This might just be done. 

[MrGreenJeans95]

20 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said:

Then there is nothing more you can do. This might just be done. 

I know… I’m preparing for that, it just sucks because I had literally no intention of hurting her and because of the fact that it was my guy friend too. 

[Wiseman2]

11 hours ago, AJorquez said:

 been seeing this girl for a few months.   Trying to make me chase her? Idk that’s what I’m feeling at this point. This has been going on for 3 days

Sounds like you were both never all that interested so this had an expiration date from the beginning.

She's moved on to greener pastures with guys who respect her and want relationships with her.

You need to move on too. Delete and block her from all your social media and messaging apps. 

In the future, don't post immature or embarrassing stuff publicly on social media.

[BaileyB]

It’s a hard lesson to learn, but some women won’t appreciate this kind of thing - in much the same way that you wouldn’t appreciate her posting inappropriate sexual comments online with say, a guy that she knows or used to date. It’s immature and inappropriate. Whether it was intended to be hurtful or not, it reflects poorly on you and she has obviously decided this is not what she wants in her life/her partner. 

 

 

[glows]

9 hours ago, AJorquez said:

But I literally tried talking to her and telling her it was my guy friend just messing around with me and it’s like she doesn’t want to believe me.. I called her three times trying to talk this out but she won’t listen 

Then consider this over. She has decided to be active on your social media but doesn’t want to associate with you in person. To be fair it’s just as childish of her to be avoiding your calls and then liking your posts or attempting to interact with you in 2D. Leave her alone or block/delete her from your social media and move on. She has already unadded you elsewhere on Snapchat. 

The whole thing seems rather silly and unnecessary. Enjoy the company of others and don’t post immature or offensive material online. 

Edited March 15, 2022 by glows

[kendahke]

On 3/14/2022 at 11:03 PM, AJorquez said:

But I literally tried talking to her and telling her it was my guy friend just messing around with me and it’s like she doesn’t want to believe me.. I called her three times trying to talk this out but she won’t listen 

then let her go.

Block her on everything and keep it moving. There is no getting through to chicks like this.

Quote

She got mad/jealous over a message thread when we're not official?  we have been hooking up as well..

Oh, as far as she's concerned, you're official. You had sex with her and she moved in with all of her girlfriend expectations baggage. She just didn't tell you that part.

Unless you have a real clear conversation before getting naked and horizontal about what "this" is/isn't, a lot of chicks (not all, but a lot) are going to assume that because you're having sex with them (more than once), that means you're official/you're in a relationship/she's got skin in your game.

I'd leave her crazy butt alone, but since you won't, you need to have that clear conversation with her about what all "this" is/isn't, because neither of you are on the same page here.

Edited March 24, 2022 by kendahke

[MrGreenJeans95]

On 3/23/2022 at 5:37 PM, kendahke said:

then let her go.

Block her on everything and keep it moving. There is no getting through to chicks like this.

Oh, as far as she's concerned, you're official. You had sex with her and she moved in with all of her girlfriend expectations baggage. She just didn't tell you that part.

Unless you have a real clear conversation before getting naked and horizontal about what "this" is/isn't, a lot of chicks (not all, but a lot) are going to assume that because you're having sex with them (more than once), that means you're official/you're in a relationship/she's got skin in your game.

I'd leave her crazy butt alone, but since you won't, you need to have that clear conversation with her about what all "this" is/isn't, because neither of you are on the same page here.

Well, a couple days after I posted my post, she actually called me 9 times in a row and finally decided to talk about it. So we did and she asked me if she can see us being together and I told that I do. Things were fine for a bit, I guess things were back to 'normal' but I noticed she was going cold again, so I called her one night and she was with her girlfriend, but in the beginning of the call, she was saying she was with her "boothang' named "Kaleb", then eventually told me she was kidding and it was her girlfriend (heard them laughing in the background).

That was the breaking point for me, first her handling the screenshot thing in such an immature manner, her going cold again and then playing with my feelings trying to make me jealous, that was enough for me.. So after that call, I sent her a text stating I don't appreciate her trying to play with my feelings and won't tolerate it, she never responded. After I sent that, I removed her on all my social media, I'm not following her on anything, but she's still following me. (she knows I unfollowed her on everything) So right now it's been a week without talking, it's been hard cause I like her and we've known each other for so long, but I am not reaching out to her at all and moving on as if I'll never see or hear from her again. 

[ExpatInItaly]

Block her on your social media as well. 

This is a dead end.