silverhightlight Posted March 16, 2022 Share Posted March 16, 2022 Hi everyone. I'm not sure I'm reading too much into this but it bothered me enough to post on here. I play at a sports club and have known a girl for about 6 months. We get on well and flirt a bit. I like her. Anyway, I saw her at another sports event recently at a nearby uni she goes to. I was playing on the main floor and she was on the viewing balcony above for a brief moment. Apparently she shouted my name a few times in a friendly way and wanted to get my attention, but I only realised at the last minute once she'd walked off. I heard something but there was other noise in the hall so it was difficult to notice if the person was actually shouting me or if it was general noise from above. My friend who was playing with me had to say it was the girl in question. Afterwards I felt really bad and wondered if she felt I was ignoring her (the complete opposite of what I would want). The balcony was actually quite close as well. She obviously made an effort to say hello and I completely missed it. Anyway, I sent her a text 2 hours later saying sorry I wasn't ignoring her and that I only realised at the last minute. I've had no reply to the text but then again she's busy and can take a while to reply. I'll see her tomorrow anyway hopefully so I can mention it then. Am I just being paranoid and reading way too much into this? I really like her so it bothered me that I didn't notice her and don't want her to feel bad. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted March 16, 2022 Share Posted March 16, 2022 1 minute ago, silverhightlight said: Am I just being paranoid and reading way too much into this? I really like her so it bothered me that I didn't notice her and don't want her to feel bad. At this point, you have a girl who likes you enough to wave at you. She may or may not be interested in more, but I see no need for paranoia or reading more than there is. Your text was fine. Now just don't blow it by overthinking. Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted March 16, 2022 Share Posted March 16, 2022 I’m sure your paths will cross again and she’ll find a way to you if the feeling is mutual. Don’t worry about the balcony Romeo et Juliette-esque greeting. May I ask why you haven’t asked her out yet? Link to post Share on other sites
Author silverhightlight Posted March 16, 2022 Author Share Posted March 16, 2022 20 minutes ago, glows said: I’m sure your paths will cross again and she’ll find a way to you if the feeling is mutual. Don’t worry about the balcony Romeo et Juliette-esque greeting. May I ask why you haven’t asked her out yet? Thanks. Well she plays in my team in a local sports league so I'll see her again quite soon no doubt. Why have I not asked her out? The second time we met around 4-5 months ago, she dropped the "my boyfriend" line into conversations with me and a few other people. She was a newcomer at my club and she mentioned it really casually but since then no mention at all. Even on Valentine's day she played a match and seemed very engaged with me. I've shown some interest in a restrained, friendly way but I haven't escalated anything obviously because of this. I do feel there is a mutual unspoken attraction though. There's a large-ish age gap that may or may not be an issue as well. Me and a friend gave her a lift to a game and we were talking about fave restaurants in the local area, and she happened to say "we should go" to a particular one. I said yes but left it at that. It's confusing because she seems quite warm and then distant at times so it's difficult to read. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted March 16, 2022 Share Posted March 16, 2022 (edited) 29 minutes ago, silverhightlight said: Why have I not asked her out? The second time we met around 4-5 months ago, she dropped the "my boyfriend" line into conversations with me and a few other people. Ok, then she was just being friendly and there's no need to overexplain things. Edited March 16, 2022 by Wiseman2 Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted March 16, 2022 Share Posted March 16, 2022 38 minutes ago, silverhightlight said: Me and a friend gave her a lift to a game and we were talking about fave restaurants in the local area, and she happened to say "we should go" to a particular one. I said yes but left it at that. It's confusing because she seems quite warm and then distant at times so it's difficult to read. I don’t see any harm in inviting her to try a restaurant in a group setting. Open the invitation to her friends and ask her to invite her boyfriend. You’ll really know then if there is a boyfriend. Keep things civil and respectful regardless as you play sports in the same place. How large an age gap is it? Link to post Share on other sites
Author silverhightlight Posted March 16, 2022 Author Share Posted March 16, 2022 22 minutes ago, glows said: I don’t see any harm in inviting her to try a restaurant in a group setting. Open the invitation to her friends and ask her to invite her boyfriend. You’ll really know then if there is a boyfriend. Keep things civil and respectful regardless as you play sports in the same place. How large an age gap is it? Age gap is quite significant. 17 years (I know!). I'm the older one but I'm young for my age both in appearance and in life stage as well, single/never married/no kids, etc. I get lots of attention from younger women probably more so than people my own age tbh. Most people say I look around 10 years younger than I actually am. There's an end of season party coming up soon. I'll ask if she is going to that as it's a group event. Not going to push anything and will be respectful. It does feel like she wants to be friends but has some level of attraction. My thoughts are that if she is happens to be interested in anything further, she will have to let me know or show me. Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted March 16, 2022 Share Posted March 16, 2022 41 minutes ago, silverhightlight said: Age gap is quite significant. 17 years (I know!). I'm the older one but I'm young for my age both in appearance and in life stage as well, single/never married/no kids, etc. I get lots of attention from younger women probably more so than people my own age tbh. Most people say I look around 10 years younger than I actually am. There's an end of season party coming up soon. I'll ask if she is going to that as it's a group event. Not going to push anything and will be respectful. It does feel like she wants to be friends but has some level of attraction. My thoughts are that if she is happens to be interested in anything further, she will have to let me know or show me. 17 years is a significant gap which leads to more questions than answers in the long run. If you’re not willing to ask her out directly or feel self-conscious something is telling you this is off. Get on a dating app or start joining other clubs and date someone closer to your life experiences and age range. Meet new people anyway. You may be physically attracted to a younger woman and end up not challenged or inspired in the long run. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted March 16, 2022 Share Posted March 16, 2022 49 minutes ago, silverhightlight said: Age gap is quite significant. 17 years . I'm the older one. Not going to push anything and will be respectful. Agree. Don't push for anything. She mentioned 'boyfriend' and that means step back no matter how much of a crush you have. Don't make things awkward. Link to post Share on other sites
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