Sadman101 Posted January 28, 2022 Share Posted January 28, 2022 (edited) Wife and I are going through she is going away on vacation and told me that she is going alone and didn’t have to explain anything to me but I didn’t ask she said she does not want me to think anything as if I thought she is going with another guy or to meet a new guy why is this? Thank you Edited January 28, 2022 by a LoveShack.org Moderator clarify title Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted January 28, 2022 Share Posted January 28, 2022 She has no respect for you... You don't talk to your partner that way. If she was going on a "all girls vacation" she would tell you all about it, but this "get away" isn't that. Of course she is meeting a guy, she is "monkey branching" to the next guy and is going to "try him out" on this vacation. I'd have divorce/separation papers prepared while she is away on "her vacation" and serve them to her when she comes back. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sadman101 Posted January 28, 2022 Author Share Posted January 28, 2022 1 minute ago, Happy Lemming said: She has no respect for you... You don't talk to your partner that way. If she was going on a "all girls vacation" she would tell you all about it, but this "get away" isn't that. Of course she is meeting a guy, she is "monkey branching" to the next guy and is going to "try him out" on this vacation. I'd have divorce/separation papers prepared while she is away on "her vacation" and serve them to her when she comes back. She is the one who filed for divorce I haven’t been the best husband I asked her a question about something else she is the one who bought it up without me asking Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sadman101 Posted January 28, 2022 Author Share Posted January 28, 2022 Just now, Sadman101 said: She is the one who filed for divorce I haven’t been the best husband I asked her a question about something else she is the one who bought it up without me asking She is going away to take time for herself she said as well we have pets so I asked her if she can come watch them but she forgot she said she apologized but yes that’s the story we’re already in the divorce process and she mentioned it out of nowhere Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted January 28, 2022 Share Posted January 28, 2022 Just now, Sadman101 said: She is the one who filed for divorce... Well it sounds like the marriage is dissolving. Are you using an arbitrator or lawyers for the divorce proceedings?? I imagine there is a lot to do. Perhaps she just wanted to rub some dirt in your face, that she has someone new and you don't?? Either way if was very childish of her to blurt out about this vacation and the parameters. Think of the plus side, she gets a new guy and she won't be your problem anymore. She'll have less venom and anger towards you, as this new guy will be the sounding board for her vitriol. Be glad you have pets and not children with this woman!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sadman101 Posted January 28, 2022 Author Share Posted January 28, 2022 1 minute ago, Happy Lemming said: Well it sounds like the marriage is dissolving. Are you using an arbitrator or lawyers for the divorce proceedings?? I imagine there is a lot to do. Perhaps she just wanted to rub some dirt in your face, that she has someone new and you don't?? Either way if was very childish of her to blurt out about this vacation and the parameters. Think of the plus side, she gets a new guy and she won't be your problem anymore. She'll have less venom and anger towards you, as this new guy will be the sounding board for her vitriol. Be glad you have pets and not children with this woman!! No lawyers nothing she wants nothing she is actually a very good women I messed up as the husband she does not have anyone new she said she is going to take time for herself in vacation it’s hard on her as well this divorce but there isn’t anyone else she told me she is going alone i didn’t ask about the vacation she told me and told me she is going alone that she does not want me to think anything in other words think there is a new man in the picture Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted January 28, 2022 Share Posted January 28, 2022 1 minute ago, Sadman101 said: I messed up as the husband Stop beating yourself up... that is twice you want to take blame for "whatever". The two of you are divorcing... plain and simple. I would communicate as little as possible. It is my opinion, that you have your own independent lawyer look everything over before you sign it. Divorce can be tricky and complicated, it will be worth a few dollars to have someone advocate for you in this matter to make double sure you are not being taken advantage of. Is everything moving along at a nice pace with the divorce process?? At this point, she is basically a single woman and can do whatever she wants. Go on vacation by herself or go on vacation with 10 guys, its none of your business or worry. Again, she told you this to rub dirt in your face... rather immature if you ask me. It is nice of you to take care of the pets, but don't do it again. If she has pets and wants to go out of town, let her take them to a kennel. The less interaction you have with this woman, the better. Get through your divorce, then heal, then continue on with the rest of your life. Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted January 28, 2022 Share Posted January 28, 2022 She's probably just taking a vacation to relax. She's estranged from you and you "messed up?" I am not sure what that entails, but what are your concerns about her vacationing alone? That she's going with another man or that she's going to meet someone while on vacation? Those are all certainly possibilities. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sadman101 Posted January 28, 2022 Author Share Posted January 28, 2022 1 hour ago, Alpaca said: She's probably just taking a vacation to relax. She's estranged from you and you "messed up?" I am not sure what that entails, but what are your concerns about her vacationing alone? That she's going with another man or that she's going to meet someone while on vacation? Those are all certainly possibilities. There are no concerns she told me she was going on vaction I never asked her about she just told me and made sure to say she is going alone then said so I don’t think anything as in her with another guy if we are in the process of divorce why would she say that for if i didn’t even ask Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted January 28, 2022 Share Posted January 28, 2022 (edited) 6 hours ago, Sadman101 said: 6 hours ago, Sadman101 said: She is the one who filed for divorce I haven’t been the best husband I asked her a question about something else she is the one who bought it up without me asking Ok. Are you legally separated and living apart? Do you have kids? There's no reason to be involved in each other's personal lives. Get friends and neighbors to dog sit. Start learning to be single again. Stay away from topics about each other's love lives. Edited January 28, 2022 by Wiseman2 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sadman101 Posted January 28, 2022 Author Share Posted January 28, 2022 9 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: Ok. Are you legally separated and living apart? Do you have kids? There's no reason to be involved in each other's personal lives. Get friends and neighbors to dog sit. Start learning to be single again. Stay away from topics about each other's love lives. She’s the one who bought it up!!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted January 28, 2022 Share Posted January 28, 2022 2 minutes ago, Sadman101 said: She’s the one who bought it up!!!!!! That's ok. Start readjusting to being single. If she doesn't want to dog sit find others. It doesn't matter who brought what up. Just change the subject. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sadman101 Posted January 28, 2022 Author Share Posted January 28, 2022 The original question is why did she bring it up she is taking this divorce hard as well there is very deep love still there I hurt her with my behavior no cheating no Financial issue I’m working on changing myself maybe I’m just looking too much into it Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted January 28, 2022 Share Posted January 28, 2022 4 minutes ago, Sadman101 said: I’m working on changing myself She doesn't want change. She's done. She ready filed for divorce. It's too late. How were you a bad husband? She wants her freedom from you. Change yourself if you want, but for yourself, not to reconcile. Make sure you have a good attorney. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sadman101 Posted January 28, 2022 Author Share Posted January 28, 2022 12 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: She doesn't want change. She's done. She ready filed for divorce. It's too late. How were you a bad husband? She wants her freedom from you. Change yourself if you want, but for yourself, not to reconcile. Make sure you have a good attorney. Oh ok I guess people never reconcile ???? Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted January 28, 2022 Share Posted January 28, 2022 29 minutes ago, Sadman101 said: Oh ok I guess people never reconcile ???? Is that what you’re hoping for? If so, don’t focus on her vacation plans. Work on yourself. That’s the point of the divorce and needing to reconcile in the first place. She doesn’t want to be with you because you’re the one who messed up, in your own words. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted January 28, 2022 Share Posted January 28, 2022 1 hour ago, Sadman101 said: I guess people never reconcile Not after paying an attorney and filing for divorce. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sadman101 Posted January 28, 2022 Author Share Posted January 28, 2022 8 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: Not after paying an attorney and filing for divorce. Ok maybe you didn’t read or don’t understand there are no attorneys involved and even in cases there were people do reconcile but what do I know instead of replying just to reply read and understand what your replying to Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sadman101 Posted January 28, 2022 Author Share Posted January 28, 2022 58 minutes ago, glows said: Is that what you’re hoping for? If so, don’t focus on her vacation plans. Work on yourself. That’s the point of the divorce and needing to reconcile in the first place. She doesn’t want to be with you because you’re the one who messed up, in your own words. Yes it’s what I am hoping for I really hurt her she was such a good wife I mistreated her and behaved bad and I am getting the help I need to change subconsciously so I can really be a better me I truly miss her I really want to reconcile with her she is very hurt she cries every-time her friends bring me up we have common friends that she introduced me to when we first met Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted January 28, 2022 Share Posted January 28, 2022 If you were abusive, she's right to leave you and not reconcile. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted January 28, 2022 Share Posted January 28, 2022 1 hour ago, Sadman101 said: Oh ok I guess people never reconcile ???? Women very often stay till they have no more to give. So when they are done, they are DONE 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sadman101 Posted January 28, 2022 Author Share Posted January 28, 2022 50 minutes ago, basil67 said: Women very often stay till they have no more to give. So when they are done, they are DONE Absolutely the safety and trust is gone she’s been burned to many times but I realize now the magnitude of what I did I’m changing for me I didn’t see the issues before it’s a shame it took divorce to see it it’s sort of a blessing because I wasn’t someone that’s very pleasant I’m really changing for me and I feel bad regret for the hurt and pain I caused her I hope we can reconcile i am not changing to reconcile but because it’s what I want to do so people are happy around me and want to be around me Link to post Share on other sites
amerikajin Posted January 28, 2022 Share Posted January 28, 2022 3 hours ago, Sadman101 said: She’s the one who bought it up!!!!!! You need to accept that you two are no longer together. She can go on vacations alone. She can see other men. She can do whatever she wants. You need to accept that. The best thing you can do right now is probably find a therapist who can help you understand yourself and the mistakes you've made so that you are better prepared to handle the next relationship. But this relationship is over and you need to accept that. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sadman101 Posted January 28, 2022 Author Share Posted January 28, 2022 3 minutes ago, amerikajin said: You need to accept that you two are no longer together. She can go on vacations alone. She can see other men. She can do whatever she wants. You need to accept that. The best thing you can do right now is probably find a therapist who can help you understand yourself and the mistakes you've made so that you are better prepared to handle the next relationship. But this relationship is over and you need to accept that. Am I not saying this right did any of you see the original question I asked why did she bring it up when I did not say one word about it Link to post Share on other sites
amerikajin Posted January 28, 2022 Share Posted January 28, 2022 16 minutes ago, Sadman101 said: I asked why did she bring it up when I did not say one word about it It doesn't matter why she brought it up. Maybe she wanted to let you know in case you wanted to contact her. Who knows? It doesn't matter. You need to move on. Period. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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