BaileyB Posted March 26, 2022 Share Posted March 26, 2022 On 3/22/2022 at 11:24 AM, FMW said: Most of us have lost someone we loved and with whom we felt a strong bond. At some point you have to decide whether or not the roller coaster of the relationship is worth it. At this point, it would not be worth it anymore for me. This does sound dysfunctional and exhausting. Relationships really shouldn’t be this hard. Link to post Share on other sites
Weezy1973 Posted March 26, 2022 Share Posted March 26, 2022 Being in a small town really limits your options. Dating is a numbers game and there just aren’t many singles in a small town. Link to post Share on other sites
poppyfields Posted March 26, 2022 Share Posted March 26, 2022 (edited) 9 hours ago, Doglover78 said: At my age, it’s hard to meet a nice man in general. I feel it’s hopeless. I agree with some others, having a positive attitude and good positive energy is everything; well not "everything" but plays a huge role in whether you will have successful dating experiences or not. Negative energy like what is written in bold above will almost guarantee that you won't. So a couple of things. Number one, age is a state of mind so please try and rid yourself of believing your age is a hindrance, it's not. 40's, 50's, heck even 60's is not "old", not if you have a great attitude, young in spirit and health, and take pride in your appearance, for starters. Second, with OLDing, there is no such thing as a dead end conversation that goes nowhere. Change that mindset to ALL conversations have value even if they don't result in a meet. Even the negative ones believe it or not. Use every interaction you have as a stepping stone on your path to meeting a great man who is a great fit for you. Detach from the outcome and enjoy the entire process, the journey. Yes, there are unsavory men (and women) out there but take it all in stride. Don't allow anyone to bring you down, simply block, delete, move on. Next. Lastly the ability to be flexible, open minded, patient and resilient will serve you really well in today's dating environment.. And that's true whether meeting on line or off. Re meeting men in person, many men have told me when they try to approach women, they're met with defenses and resistance, don't be "that" woman. Instead, smile, become approachable and open, it will serve you really well, I can almost guarantee it! Like with on line, see every conversation you have as a stepping stone on your path to meeting the right man for you.. A friendly convo (on the checkout line at the supermarket for example) does not always have to result in a date, and that's OK. But it might! Again, it's all about having the right attitude and good positive energy. Good luck! Edited March 26, 2022 by poppyfields 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Doglover78 Posted March 26, 2022 Share Posted March 26, 2022 34 minutes ago, poppyfields said: I agree with some others, having a positive attitude and good positive energy is everything; well not "everything" but plays a huge role in whether you will have successful dating experiences or not. Negative energy like what is written in bold above will almost guarantee that you won't. So a couple of things. Number one, age is a state of mind so please try and rid yourself of believing your age is a hindrance, it's not. 40's, 50's, heck even 60's is not "old", not if you have a great attitude, young in spirit and health, and take pride in your appearance, for starters. Second, with OLDing, there is no such thing as a dead end conversation that goes nowhere. Change that mindset to ALL conversations have value even if they don't result in a meet. Even the negative ones believe it or not. Use every interaction you have as a stepping stone on your path to meeting a great man who is a great fit for you. Detach from the outcome and enjoy the entire process, the journey. Yes, there are unsavory men (and women) out there but take it all in stride. Don't allow anyone to bring you down, simply block, delete, move on. Next. Lastly the ability to be flexible, open minded, patient and resilient will serve you really well in today's dating environment.. And that's true whether meeting on line or off. Re meeting men in person, many men have told me when they try to approach women, they're met with defenses and resistance, don't be "that" woman. Instead, smile, become approachable and open, it will serve you really well, I can almost guarantee it! Like with on line, see every conversation you have as a stepping stone on your path to meeting the right man for you.. A friendly convo (on the checkout line at the supermarket for example) does not always have to result in a date, and that's OK. But it might! Again, it's all about having the right attitude and good positive energy. Good luck! Wow! Thank you! This is excellent advice. Stuff I hadn’t thought of. I just feel tired of being single. It’s time to restart my life. I really love what you said. Being positive outgoing, and open goes such a long way! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted March 26, 2022 Share Posted March 26, 2022 14 hours ago, Lovelorn_lady said: About the book, I can’t just let it go because we’re probably done. I really do need to try and get it back. It’s very sentimental to me and it’s out of print and the only copy I have. Would it really be that terrible of a thing to simply contact him (I have a texting app that I can use to get through), and ask him to return it to me? If it’s very important to you then ask for it back directly and never contact him again. If he ignores you then still move on and don’t hang around waiting or wondering why he is stonewalling you. His actions suggest he just does not care. Don’t you think an upstanding and sincere person would have returned the book ages ago? If I borrowed a book of such value, I’d take a look and return it quickly not hang onto it like that as if it’s nothing and it belongs to me. Needing to think and taking days and days and partially or fully blocking you are all glaring signs he doesn’t want to deal with you. You need him though because he feeds that dysfunction in you, chasing what isn’t available. Maybe he was something nice at one point but things changed. Link to post Share on other sites
dramafreezone Posted March 26, 2022 Share Posted March 26, 2022 (edited) 11 hours ago, Doglover78 said: I’m wanting to enter the dating scene again after a divorce and a couple bad relationships. Last year I moved to a small town. There isn’t a whole lot to do here at night, except go to the bars. I don’t want that scene when it comes to meeting people. You often get a lot of unsavory Individuals. A lot of men in my age group are either married, or have kids. Not that having kids is a deal breaker, I have one myself. I’m looking for someone to have a serious and committed relationship with. I would eventually like to get married again. I would really prefer to stay off dating sites. I feel my options are very limited here. At my age, it’s hard to meet a nice man in general. I feel it’s hopeless. Take up golf as a hobby. Seriously. I'm a man in my early 40s and took up golf a couple of months ago. There is a surplus of men at the driving range and golf course, many of them married but some of the divorced or single, and most of them are probably reasonably well off because golf is not a cheap hobby. It doesn't necessarily have to be golf but this is how you need to be thinking. Where do the types of guys that you want to meet hang out? Figure that out and just go there. If you want better results you have to do what other people are not doing. Edited March 26, 2022 by dramafreezone 1 Link to post Share on other sites
salparadise Posted March 26, 2022 Share Posted March 26, 2022 (edited) 2 hours ago, poppyfields said: A friendly convo (on the checkout line at the supermarket for example) Ha ha, i was just about to suggest the grocery store, but as a place to meet people that you'd never otherwise encounter. Especially for an attractive woman... all you have to do is smile to green-light a nice-looking guy and he'll be on it like a duck on a junebug. If he seems unsure (as if he isn't certain if it was a green light or just a smile), chat him up, bump into his cart, or accost him in the parking lot. There is also the advantage of being able to see what's in his cart, and this can tell you a lot about a person. If I were to be reincarnated as an attractive woman, the grocery store would be my go-to place for picking up men. And as a man, I'm always looking while I'm shopping. I've had a number of instances of women making eye-contact and flashing a big smile. One was so gorgeous that got nervous and couldn't even speak... but I gathered my self up and found her again in the dairy section. I said, man, if you let this one slip away you'll never forgive yourself. She said she had a boyfriend, but she kept sending me signals and I know she wanted something. Maybe she was just confirming her ability to make men fall all over themselves. Wear something sexy and go shopping... I guarantee you'll find opportunities. What you do about it is up to you. Edited March 26, 2022 by salparadise Link to post Share on other sites
dramafreezone Posted March 26, 2022 Share Posted March 26, 2022 (edited) 11 hours ago, smackie9 said: Date a little younger and try that. Your dating pool widens. There are lots of younger guys that are not player/one and done types that are very OK with dating someone in their 40's. Hmm, well it depends on her goals. She can date younger if dating is all she wants, but as far as relationships go I think guys tend to want to look for younger, not older. That's not to say it can't happen for her but I think if she's looking for relationship she'll want to be looking for slightly older, so if she's early 40s maybe look for late 40s men, just my opinion, swim with the current instead of against it. Edited March 26, 2022 by dramafreezone Link to post Share on other sites
SingFish Posted March 26, 2022 Share Posted March 26, 2022 22 hours ago, Lovelorn_lady said: But how do we know this is the reason? This is the problem. I don’t know. He doesn’t have to explain it either. Let it go now. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted March 26, 2022 Share Posted March 26, 2022 3 minutes ago, SingFish said: Let it go now. Yes. You dodged a bullet in the long run. Now you are free to date available sensible men. No one wants to be at the end of someone's yoyo like this 1 Link to post Share on other sites
chillii Posted March 26, 2022 Share Posted March 26, 2022 Yeah , def' agree with above younger will just get you more grief if your looking for something serious and lasting , and many will probably still wanna have kids anyway. But yeah positiveness is huge especially with women as they get older. Try to find your old happy self again and enjoy life just in a natural way l mean not over done or fake just let yourself come out is all. Bc so many become a certain way with the pasts dragging them down and understandably life is hard sometimes l know but the trouble is it really shows to a guy and it's like wearing a big red flag we'll spot at 100 paces. Link to post Share on other sites
6ix Posted March 26, 2022 Senior Moderators Share Posted March 26, 2022 Two threads merged of the same person with multiple accounts. 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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