basil67 Posted March 22, 2022 Share Posted March 22, 2022 No, it doesn't mean that he broke up. It means that he's giving serious consideration as to whether or not to continue with you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lovelorn_lady Posted March 22, 2022 Author Share Posted March 22, 2022 I did actually just respond. All I said was, “I know. I understand and respect that. Take the time you need.” I’m not saying anything more. I shouldn’t have even said that, but I didn’t think it was so terrible. I just thought if anything, it would show him I care. Was that really a bad thing to do? Now, as others have advised, I’m going to try and find something fun to do. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted March 22, 2022 Share Posted March 22, 2022 5 hours ago, Lovelorn_lady said: He didn’t do anything. He did absolutely nothing wrong. In fact, things were going really well for us. What made me send the text is that I was drunk and wrote it when I was feeling bad. I didn’t mean it and it was actually sent by accident. This indicates there's a problem with your drinking. Even if you were drunk you should remember why and what prompted you to send a message to him that you want to break up. How do you send a break up message by accident? You didn't accidentally write the words nor did they accidentally pop in your mind. You said you've done this to him before when drunk but don't remember why, these are huge red flags you're sending. He's probably wondering about your stability. Even if you weren't going to send the break up text, it's the fact that you wrote it and breaking up with him was on your mind. Why was breaking up with him on your mind before you sent the text? 5 hours ago, Lovelorn_lady said: I did one time before and drunk texted him then. I don’t even remember what that was all about. He told me to not drunk text him anymore Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lovelorn_lady Posted March 22, 2022 Author Share Posted March 22, 2022 4 minutes ago, stillafool said: Why was breaking up with him on your mind before you sent the text? Well, that’s the thing. It wasn’t. Things were going really well for us. What happened that night is he as leaving to head out of town to visit his sister. He was at the airport waiting for his flight. I went to a concert here in town that night. I had one drink there. I came home after the concert, he and I texted for a bit. It was very pleasant. I was telling him about the concert. I decided I was going to go to bed. I said goodnight, and he said goodnight and I told him to have a nice flight. It was at that point I decided to have a few drinks at home. I wasn’t even considering breaking up with him. It wasn’t until I was drunk when I wrote that message. Before that, there was no thought of breaking up with him. I told him all this, too. So he knows that it wasn’t on my mind. If I hadn’t been drinking, I never would have sent a message like that. Link to post Share on other sites
SingFish Posted March 22, 2022 Share Posted March 22, 2022 4 minutes ago, Lovelorn_lady said: have a few drinks Let it be a lesson to you?! Drinking problems creep up. Do something else for fun and to chill out. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lovelorn_lady Posted March 22, 2022 Author Share Posted March 22, 2022 8 minutes ago, SingFish said: Let it be a lesson to you?! Yes, lesson learned definitely. Yet, he’s someone who’s had a problem with drinking in the past. He got drunk once and got fired on his day off. He went to his work drunk and started yelling at his co-workers. He also sent me pretty bad drunk texts before. But yes, I have learned my lesson. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lovelorn_lady Posted March 23, 2022 Author Share Posted March 23, 2022 I am going out to another concert here in town tonight. It’ll be fun. But what happens if I run into him? He also goes to a lot of concerts in town. Should I just not go to prevent a problem, or should I go anyway and if I see him, act appropriately. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted March 23, 2022 Share Posted March 23, 2022 34 minutes ago, Lovelorn_lady said: So he knows that it wasn’t on my mind. If I hadn’t been drinking, I never would have sent a message like that. LL this is a problem. You guys said good night and you were going to go to bed but decided to start drinking alone and creating reasons to break up which you don't remember. Maybe it will help you not to keep alcohol in your home. I will be honest with you if I were him I would let you go. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lovelorn_lady Posted March 23, 2022 Author Share Posted March 23, 2022 6 minutes ago, stillafool said: LL this is a problem. You guys said good night and you were going to go to bed but decided to start drinking alone and creating reasons to break up which you don't remember. Maybe it will help you not to keep alcohol in your home. I will be honest with you if I were him I would let you go. No, I haven’t had any alcohol in my house since that night. I don’t plan on having any either. Maybe so, but those reasons weren’t present before that. Also, he has not mentioned anything about the drinking in our text exchanges since this happened. I would have thought that if he’s concerned about it, he would have brought it up, he may though. Not a word about it. He seems more concerned about my accidents break up with him. Link to post Share on other sites
SingFish Posted March 23, 2022 Share Posted March 23, 2022 56 minutes ago, Lovelorn_lady said: act appropriately. I doubt you will meet by accident. But always act appropriately! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lovelorn_lady Posted March 23, 2022 Author Share Posted March 23, 2022 There is one thing I’ve been thinking and wondering about. To me, and perhaps this is only me and I’m a bit naive, but it would seem that breaking up with someone if that’s what he decides to do, would seem like a bit of a drastic move for having one bad night. He may or may not take the incident in November into consideration. Even if he does, we worked that out. I mean, I also don’t have a drinking problem. I drink socially and It’s not something I do regularly, least ways get drunk. Maybe it would be a question of judgement, but even still, there are ways to work it out. He knows I use good judgement on things. It would seem to me that if he does end up breaking up with me, there would have to have been more going on, am I wrong? It would just seem like a minor (in the grand scheme of things) issue to break up with someone over. Link to post Share on other sites
LynneVicious Posted March 23, 2022 Share Posted March 23, 2022 The thing that’s odd is you would even type a message like that out just because you were feeling bad. You said you had a pleasant chat with him and told him to have a good flight. Then you had some drinks and typed in, “leave me alone”, then hit send instead of deleting it. None if that makes any sense and it sounds like there are some holes in there or you’re omitting something. Just doesn’t make any sense. I know if I were in a relationship, and my boyfriend texted me that, i would want some time to think some things over too. And not because he sent it drunkenly. But because he was even thinking that in the first place. If there’s truly nothing more to the story, then it sounds like you are a MAJOR over thinker and made up terrible scenarios in your head or you are unconsciously unhappy with him and you typed out what you were thinking. No matter how you slice it, it’s a big red flag, you sending that text. You need to figure out why you even thought that and he needs to figure out if he wants to deal with that kind of drama. 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SingFish Posted March 23, 2022 Share Posted March 23, 2022 43 minutes ago, Lovelorn_lady said: There is one thing I’ve been thinking and wondering about. You seem to have a problem just chilling out and letting things settle down? Did you go to the concert? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lovelorn_lady Posted March 23, 2022 Author Share Posted March 23, 2022 2 minutes ago, SingFish said: You seem to have a problem just chilling out and letting things settle down? Did you go to the concert? I’m actually just about to leave. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lovelorn_lady Posted March 23, 2022 Author Share Posted March 23, 2022 5 minutes ago, LynneVicious said: f there’s truly nothing more to the story, then it sounds like you are a MAJOR over thinker and made up terrible scenarios in your head or you are unconsciously unhappy with him and you typed out what you were thinking. I do overthink a lot. I have been truthful with my boyfriend and everyone on this thread and haven’t left anything out about this incident. I truly was not thinking about it at all, and it could be a subconscious thing. If I am somehow unhappy and he thinks that, couldn’t he ask me? I am happy with him. There are things he’s done that have deeply hurt me and maybe it’s possible some of that was coming out? Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted March 23, 2022 Share Posted March 23, 2022 51 minutes ago, Lovelorn_lady said: There is one thing I’ve been thinking and wondering about. To me, and perhaps this is only me and I’m a bit naive, but it would seem that breaking up with someone if that’s what he decides to do, would seem like a bit of a drastic move for having one bad night. He may or may not take the incident in November into consideration. Even if he does, we worked that out. I mean, I also don’t have a drinking problem. I drink socially and It’s not something I do regularly, least ways get drunk. Maybe it would be a question of judgement, but even still, there are ways to work it out. He knows I use good judgement on things. It would seem to me that if he does end up breaking up with me, there would have to have been more going on, am I wrong? It would just seem like a minor (in the grand scheme of things) issue to break up with someone over. Kindly, breaking up with a guy twice in 5 months when you don't mean it does not indicate wise judgement on your part. It was very kind of him to give you a second chance after the first time, but he'd be foolish to give you a third chance. Breaking up with someone by accident is not a glitch to be worked through. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
SingFish Posted March 23, 2022 Share Posted March 23, 2022 18 minutes ago, Lovelorn_lady said: I’m actually just about to leave. Have fun and stop worrying ( and don't drink! ) Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lovelorn_lady Posted March 23, 2022 Author Share Posted March 23, 2022 33 minutes ago, basil67 said: he'd be foolish to give you a third chance. Then why doesn’t he just break up with me? What would there be to think about? Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted March 23, 2022 Share Posted March 23, 2022 (edited) 40 minutes ago, Lovelorn_lady said: Then why doesn’t he just break up with me? What would there be to think about? I think he'd be foolish to give it another chance. But apparently he needs more time to think about it. Edited March 23, 2022 by basil67 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lovelorn_lady Posted March 23, 2022 Author Share Posted March 23, 2022 (edited) The concert was good. He wasn’t there. it did occur to me that I didn’t actually dump him this time. I said in my drunk text to him, “I want to be alone. I can’t deal with this eye issue. Leave me alone.” I asked to be alone. That’s different than dumping someone. If I were to have dumped him, I would have said something like, “we’re done. This isn’t working out” or something like that. But I didn’t dump him. That’s why I told him in the message I sent last night, “I didn’t dump you and that wasn’t my intention.” I am not entirely clear on why he thinks I dumped him. Edited March 23, 2022 by Lovelorn_lady Typo Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lovelorn_lady Posted March 23, 2022 Author Share Posted March 23, 2022 Now I just found out he’s blocked me on Instagram. That’s definitely not a good sign. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lovelorn_lady Posted March 23, 2022 Author Share Posted March 23, 2022 Now I am seriously mad. I know I agreed to give him space, but I am going to attempt to text him, if he hasn’t blocked me on my spare phone now, as to why he keeps blocking me! We didn’t even have a chance to talk about things. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted March 23, 2022 Share Posted March 23, 2022 I think you need to brace yourself for a break-up. A real one. Initiated by him. He sounds like he's done with you, I'm sorry to say. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lovelorn_lady Posted March 23, 2022 Author Share Posted March 23, 2022 2 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said: I think you need to brace yourself for a break-up. A real one. Initiated by him. He sounds like he's done with you, I'm sorry to say. I believe you are correct, but couldn’t it be he just wants space as well? Why would he block me before breaking up with me? I haven’t bothered him. I’ve been respectful of his space and haven’t reached out to him. I only texted him when he contacted me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lovelorn_lady Posted March 23, 2022 Author Share Posted March 23, 2022 Just now, Lovelorn_lady said: I believe you are correct, but couldn’t it be he just wants space as well? Why would he block me before breaking up with me? I haven’t bothered him. I’ve been respectful of his space and haven’t reached out to him. I only texted him when he contacted me. And, do I even want a guy like that anyway? If he can’t be straightforward and honest with me, and would pull this stunt as a way of breaking up, then that’s not really someone I want in my life. Link to post Share on other sites
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