Am I guilty for everything or wasn't he really interested?

[stillafool]

9 minutes ago, basil67 said:

Meeting family and friends doesn't necessarily have any deep meaning.  Especially if you still live at home, in which case, it's hard to avoid meeting the parents. 

When my daughter lived at home, it was like we had a revolving door of guys she dated.  I'd have to remind myself of the name of the current guy

This is so true. I remember when my oldest brother lived at home there were different girls coming over all the time.  He would call them all "Baby" to prevent mixing up their names.  This is why I don't place too much importance on meeting the parents.

[Plllover]

1 minute ago, stillafool said:

I too had very strict parents but I wouldn't call them narcissists they were just overly protective.  I demanded my independence and me and 2 of my friends who also had strict parents went in together and rented an apartment so we could be free.  It's good to be on your own working and going to school if you can.  Do you have any close girl friends that you could become roommates with?

My mom has all the personality traits of a narcissist and she made me feel guilty of a lot of things and also she can be manipulative and mean. She told me a couple of times that I’m a bad person, that I’m incapable of loving, that I don’t love her nor my dad. She said disgusting things to me that I can’t forget easily. She once threatened to kill herself if I didn’t call my father (they were separated at that time) and she threatened to kill herself grabbing a knife in front of my sister (I wasn’t there hopefully). She apologized for that, but she never apologized for telling me awful things over nothing. I was heavily bullied by her. It really hurt me that I had to go through all of that and also everything I mentioned in this thread. Now she is behaving normally, and isn’t insulting me, but when she gets upset she is scary and even threatened to hit me multiple times this year. When I was little she used to hit me in the face (physical abuse) until she stopped doing it. I hold a lot of resentment towards her, and sometimes I feel guilty for it. Because she gives me everything, so I feel confused. 

[Plllover]

5 minutes ago, stillafool said:

This is so true. I remember when my oldest brother lived at home there were different girls coming over all the time.  He would call them all "Baby" to prevent mixing up their names.  This is why I don't place too much importance on meeting the parents.

So when can I know if it’s serious? I mean, if it’s really something when I meet his parents brother and friends 

[Plllover]

6 minutes ago, stillafool said:

This is so true. I remember when my oldest brother lived at home there were different girls coming over all the time.  He would call them all "Baby" to prevent mixing up their names.  This is why I don't place too much importance on meeting the parents.

Yesterday my I-don’t-know-what-we-are-because-we-are-on-a-break ex-ish? Boyfriend lol sent me a song and I replied to him and now a day later… nada. He hasn’t even opened it. I don’t understand why he appears out of nowhere and then disappears. I sent him another song for him to listen to but he vanished again. 

[basil67]

9 minutes ago, Plllover said:

So when can I know if it’s serious? I mean, if it’s really something when I meet his parents brother and friends 

You know it's serious when their actions are reliable, loving and consistent. When they aren't afraid of labels, they want monogamy and the relationship continues to develop into further commitment.

And it doesn't count if you only have say, 3 out of all of these things.  It's serious when you have the whole package. 

[Wiseman2]

5 hours ago, Plllover said:

. I don’t understand why he appears out of nowhere and then disappears.

Where is he now? Away at school?  He may be partying with the drugs you mentioned or since he doesn't want labels or long distance, he may be dating others.

If you are unhappy living at home, check with your college about dorms and housing options.  

 

[ExpatInItaly]

8 hours ago, Plllover said:

So when can I know if it’s serious? I mean, if it’s really something when I meet his parents brother and friends 

When the guy doesn't dodge your desire to make the relationship official after a reasonable period of time. When he consistently makes you feel like a valued part of his life and doesn't use the "I don't like labels" excuse to avoid true commitment with you. 

I am sorry for everything you have been through with your parents. Now is the time to start planning a more independent life so you aren't treated like a child. You won't be able to have a real relationship until you are out of their house.