Casual long distance relationship: Is it worth it? Anyone that is\was into one?

[stella]

We met 6 weeks ago, we clicked, but he is moving for good to join a new job. And it is too far and too soon. My gut tells me that he is honestly overwhelmed by the idea of the distance and dealing with a new living situation. I never casual dated anyone, and always thought it was more about just meeting, while this would be actually texting-calling and sounds more intense than just meet someone to have fun (in terms of feelings and emotions involved). 

[Wiseman2]

8 minutes ago, stella said:

he is moving for good to join a new job. My gut tells me that he is honestly overwhelmed by the idea of the distance and dealing with a new living situation.

Consider a fun fling.

But since he's starting a new life elsewhere not only will he be busy with his new job/town/home, he'll want to talk to and date local women.

Just step  back and date local men

[stillafool]

1 hour ago, stella said:

 My gut tells me that he is honestly overwhelmed by the idea of the distance and dealing with a new living situation.

Aren't most people when they move to a new town and new situations?  He'll get over it, adjust and meet new people.  

[stella]

51 minutes ago, stillafool said:

Aren't most people when they move to a new town and new situations?  He'll get over it, adjust and meet new people.  

Yes. I moved myself 3 times already. But wanting or not wanting a ldr is a different thing, or being indecisive about it. I honeslty think it's fair what he told me. 

[stillafool]

1 hour ago, stella said:

Yes. I moved myself 3 times already. But wanting or not wanting a ldr is a different thing, or being indecisive about it. I honeslty think it's fair what he told me. 

It's doubtful he will deal with LDR for long before he meets someone there and naturally will want someone closer to him.   Probably the same thing will happen with you. 

[ExpatInItaly]

7 hours ago, stella said:

Yes. I moved myself 3 times already. But wanting or not wanting a ldr is a different thing, or being indecisive about it. I honeslty think it's fair what he told me. 

And what did he tell you?

I personally would not be interested in a LDR with someone I didn't know well, especially if I were moving far away. It's just not sustainable, and would likely die out anyway. 

[stella]

On 3/27/2022 at 11:30 PM, ExpatInItaly said:

And what did he tell you?

I personally would not be interested in a LDR with someone I didn't know well, especially if I were moving far away. It's just not sustainable, and would likely die out anyway. 

He told me that we'll see how these months apart will feel, and that he wants to see where he is at when he will be settled down. But since he doesn't want an obligation (in addition to the ones he already has), he can't commit now, and want me to have the freedom of dating someone else if I want to. 

[stillafool]

32 minutes ago, stella said:

He told me that we'll see how these months apart will feel, and that he wants to see where he is at when he will be settled down. But since he doesn't want an obligation (in addition to the ones he already has), he can't commit now, and want me to have the freedom of dating someone else if I want to. 

That's fair.  Maybe what you're experiencing now is a nice fling.

[ExpatInItaly]

7 hours ago, stella said:

He told me that we'll see how these months apart will feel, and that he wants to see where he is at when he will be settled down. But since he doesn't want an obligation (in addition to the ones he already has), he can't commit now, and want me to have the freedom of dating someone else if I want to. 

I think that was the mature and respectful approach to take. Kudos to him for being honest. 

Personally, I wouldn't hold my breath though. It doesn't sound like it's going to work out after he moves and he's being clear that he doesn't want to put himself on hold and doesn't want you to do so, either. 

[Wiseman2]

10 hours ago, stella said:

 he can't commit now, and want me to have the freedom of dating someone else if I want to. 

That means he wants his freedom. It's better for both of you to date locally.

[glows]

22 hours ago, stella said:

He told me that we'll see how these months apart will feel, and that he wants to see where he is at when he will be settled down. But since he doesn't want an obligation (in addition to the ones he already has), he can't commit now, and want me to have the freedom of dating someone else if I want to. 

Go your separate ways then. There's nothing much to work with and he's been quite clear with you that he's got no intention to progress or deepen anything that you both have had in the past six weeks. This, to me, is a clear indicator to part ways. There's no option of a long distance relationship and this is not a relationship at all. Where did that come up? Is that something he suggested or did you think that it was a possibility? 

[Els]

"Casual" and "LDR" are two completely diametrically-opposed concepts. There is no possible overlap. The whole point of a LDR is that it's an investment - the two people involved want to be with each other so much that they will put up with being apart temporarily so that they can be together in the future. That's... not what a casual relationship is like.