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Reaching Out to Avoidant Ex Girlfriend


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My avoidant ex girlfriend broke up with me out of the blue and on good terms about six months ago in order to focus on her full time schooling and full time work. I've reached out a couple of times in the past six months to see how she was doing and the conversations never really took off anywhere. I notice every story I have posted on snapchat has been viewed by her and I've really been trying my best to not reach out to her. I've done good work on myself in the past six months learning new skills and starting a small business. It's been close to three months since last reaching out to her and I want to know if there was any advice or tips on whether I should reach out again or what I should say. Our relationship lasted 7 months and we never argued until the night she broke up with me. She told me the night she broke up with me that "It's not like I never want to talk to you again." I just wanted to know if there are any tips on how to reach out and begin talking to her again or if I should just totally give up on the hope and forget her. Thanks. 

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Happy Lemming

She is your ex-girlfriend. Stop contacting her, leave her alone!!

I never contacted any of my ex-girlfriends.  I didn't block them, but I did delete them out of my phone list so I didn't drunk text/call them.

The quicker you go "no contact" the quicker you'll forget about her and find someone new and better!!

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You need to stop "reaching out" to her at all.  I'm not sure why you keep doing this and what you hope to accomplish by repeatedly contacting her.  It's usually not a good idea to stay friends after a breakup.  Nothing good can come of it, and it's just awkward.  The fact that the last couple of times you tried to talk to her, the conversation "never went anywhere" kind of should tell you that she is not interested in being friends with you.  Leave her alone and move on with your life.

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This sounds like you need closure because there was no reason in your opinion for a break up. Where are you getting the idea that she’s “avoidant” ? How did she react when you reached out the past few times? 

Did she break up with you because you’re not going to school or don’t work? Consider different goals, lifestyles, interests, hobbies. Why did she end the relationship? Do you really not know? Think about the things you both talked about or where your lives are headed. 

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ExpatInItaly

I don't think reaching out yet again is going to accomplish much. 

She hasn't shown any interest in getting back together, so it's better for you to accept that and consider this chapter closed. Looking at your stories on social media is her being curious, but that's all. There doesn't seem to be anything left to work with here. 

If you are having trouble letting go, remove her from your socials so you're not tempted to keep checking if she's following you and watching you. 

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5 hours ago, Stfrg said:

 in order to focus on her full time schooling and full time work.  . Our relationship lasted 7 months and we never argued until the night she broke up with me. 

Are you trying to get her back?  Her departure statement about "let's stay friends" is rather common.

She's working And going to school full time. It would be best to move forward for your own sake.

Even if those get-your-ex-back sites recommend what you've been doing, the best thing you can do is let go and delete and block her from all your social media and messaging apps.

Why not get a good profile and pics on quality dating apps and start talking to and meeting women?

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12 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

Are you trying to get her back?  Her departure statement about "let's stay friends" is rather common.

She's working And going to school full time. It would be best to move forward for your own sake.

Even if those get-your-ex-back sites recommend what you've been doing, the best thing you can do is let go and delete and block her from all your social media and messaging apps.

Why not get a good profile and pics on quality dating apps and start talking to and meeting women?

Basically this, she was letting you down gently. My ex said we should 'take a break' for a year because she needs to get her things together, sort out childhood/father of kids issues etc. and 'lets reconnect in the future'. 

I think she was just letting me down gently. It will give you an opportunity to acquire new skills and become independent and happy without a partner. When you are ready for relationship again, a partner will be a bonus

Edited by hopper90
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