So many questions. months later

[Neverendingquestions]

He was another poor decision, It was a short relationship, he wasn't a nice person had a lot of childhood trauma, and chose alcohol at every opportunity. He wasn't consistent or stable. It was a rebound relationship but I am delighted to have my kid from it.

We did the legal system and custody etc and he had full access to see his kid, he stopped availing of this about 1.5 years ago. We have no contact and I don't have any emotions towards him. He is not good for my kid in anyway.

He exposed my affair publically on social media as he took pics and videos including AP during kid interactions  it used them to try manipulate me. When it didn't work, he published them asking who my AP was(he had investigated and found out he was married) safe to say this was the talk of town in early 2020.

AP wife or family did not get awareness of this, even though many people locally did. My family etc did, I dealt with that fallout. 

I am aware I choose emotionally unavailable men, it's something stemming from my own fathers ways. Chasing, want to fix, trying to "save" whilst sabotaging myself in the process.

I am aware of this now and it's something I need to work intensely on. I need to work towards a more secure person and partners

Edited March 31, 2022 by Neverendingquestions

[stillafool]

1 hour ago, Neverendingquestions said:

I am aware I choose emotionally unavailable men, it's something stemming from my own fathers ways. Chasing, want to fix, trying to "save" whilst sabotaging myself in the process.

I am aware of this now and it's something I need to work intensely on. I need to work towards a more secure person and partners

I hope you do get therapy for this so your daughter won't repeat those actions in her future.  It takes time but you can do it.

[Wiseman2]

12 hours ago, Neverendingquestions said:

 We have no contact and I don't have any emotions towards him. He is not good for my kid in anyway.

Child support is mandatory. If your child's father doesn't want visitation that's ok, it's not mandatory.

Try not to blame this married creep for anything other than the typical lies. 

When you do this, you fail to take responsibility, and as you can see, make continually bad decisions.

Focus on your own and your child's physical and mental health. 

Get a good profile and pics on quality dating apps and start talking to and meeting single men for a low-key coffee ☕. 

Consider single dads and men you have something in common with.

Edited April 1, 2022 by Wiseman2

[glows]

17 hours ago, Neverendingquestions said:

Yes very much the torment comment. In denial and running from many things. So much going on internally, but only he can resolve it.

Yes I am a great mom, have a nice home, work/ life balance, we do lots of fun stuff as a twosome and I love our little life. But I do miss him AP dearly, well the person I encountered in the good times, 

I feel I was just robbed of so many years, for nothing. I went through emotional torture with zero gain and a loss of some many dreams of a family and a normal relationship whilst he just slips back into his life and I've to pick up the pieces of mine and start over. 

It’s natural to have some regret and misgivings. I have some choice words myself about certain periods of my life on a bad day but with time that eases and we also take the lessons along with it.

Give yourself a bit more time to adjust back to life and find meaning again without this person.

It’s ok to miss someone. As long as you know history is never repeating itself cut yourself some slack and cry your heart out and grieve, feel bad for getting into this. Then pick yourself back up and do great things.