Unauthorised leave today

[goldengirl11]

I had booked a half day leave (for this afternoon) a few weeks ago, but regrettably I didn’t go in this morning. I had had a bad night and was feeling extremely tired, so I had taken this morning off without contacting work and went back to bed to switch off.

I have now woken up to a missed call and email from work forwarding the email which authorised half a day’s leave, saying that I was supposed to be in work this morning and asked if I was taking the whole day...

I just replied and made out that I had thought had booked the whole day off, and would make sure it wouldn’t happen again. I signed off saying see you at 9:30 tomorrow morning.

I am already being monitored by HR for my sickness absences. Although it had started to improve recently.

I feel such a fool!!

 

Edited April 4, 2022 by goldengirl11

[glows]

Are there underlying health issues affecting your sleep? Why not book an appointment with your doctor for a check up? 

I’m not going to address the not going into work. You seem to feel bad enough as it is and know you shouldn’t have done that.

[Wiseman2]

Make an appointment with your physician for an evaluation for your physical and mental health. Make sure everything is in order. Mention that you have frequent work absences and frequently do not feel well. 

What is the reason for the frequent sick days? Do you have a set amount of personal days or vacation days you can use? 

It's better to have some sort of evaluation/reason for the frequent sick time than simply not showing up for work, no?

[goldengirl11]

Hi glows,

I recently had blood tests, so should be having a follow up soon. The results were clear, apart from being low on vitamin D which I was recently prescribed.

 

Edited April 4, 2022 by goldengirl11

[goldengirl11]

Hi Wiseman,

The reasons I have usually been off sick for are depression/anxiety-related.  Yes I do have a set amount of leave days to use and have next week off as it happens. Mainly because I am going away for a few days with family.

I am now worried re tomorrow and looking like I was lying, or just scatty maybe?! I wouldn’t be surprised if it gets a mention in the next meeting with HR later this month. 

[FMW]

Seek help for the depression and anxiety, whether it's just counseling, or also possibly medication if it's warranted.  

Your fatigue and lack of motivation to make the effort required for going to work are probably not going to go away on their own, they are the symptoms of a problem you need to treat.  

Edit:  I see from a previous post that you are on medication.  If you haven't already, talk to your doctor about your excessive absences.  Your current medication isn't managing your issues.  

Edited April 4, 2022 by FMW

[glows]

9 minutes ago, goldengirl11 said:

I am now worried re tomorrow and looking like I was lying, or just scatty maybe?! I wouldn’t be surprised if it gets a mention in the next meeting with HR later this month. 

You know you’re dealing with depression so holding down a job may be a challenge unless you seek treatment and that may not be a guarantee until you find something that works for you. Be humble at work and do your duties but the real issue is your health. Try to stay focussed on improving your health regardless of what happens with this job. Do you live with family or have support? 

[goldengirl11]

21 minutes ago, glows said:

You know you’re dealing with depression so holding down a job may be a challenge unless you seek treatment and that may not be a guarantee until you find something that works for you. Be humble at work and do your duties but the real issue is your health. Try to stay focussed on improving your health regardless of what happens with this job. Do you live with family or have support? 

I live alone, but my parents live in the same town. They know I struggle and I usually get an (extra) alarm call from my Dad incase I oversleep! I am considering moving back in with them, even though my sister (who lives an hour and a half away with own family) thinks I should appreciate having a nice flat. She has never lived alone though, except for at uni where she met her now husband for last 20 years! I don’t have any visitors anymore except for my Dad due to the ongoing mess (washing, cleaning etc), hence why I think could be why I am forever single! I also find it a struggle financially. I work full time, but it is low pay considering.

I needed to vent obviously!

Edited April 4, 2022 by goldengirl11

[vla1120]

23 minutes ago, goldengirl11 said:

Hi Wiseman,

The reasons I have usually been off sick for are depression/anxiety-related.  Yes I do have a set amount of leave days to use and have next week off as it happens. Mainly because I am going away for a few days with family.

I am now worried re tomorrow and looking like I was lying, or just scatty maybe?! I wouldn’t be surprised if it gets a mention in the next meeting with HR later this month. 

Are you in the U.S.? My daughter went through a similar situation a few years ago. She was under the care of a doctor and a therapist. Her doctor signed an FMLA form stating she was under his care for anxiety/depression and it kept her from being fired or having disciplinary action taken against her while she was sorting out her mental health with medication and therapy. Perhaps you could talk to your doctor about this possibility. Best wishes to you. I feel for you and hope you find yourself on a path to feeling better about everything. 

[vla1120]

3 minutes ago, goldengirl11 said:

I live alone, but my parents live in the same town. They know I struggle and I usually get an (extra) alarm call from my Dad incase I oversleep! I am considering moving back in with them, even though my sister (who lives an hour and a half away with own family) thinks I should appreciate having a nice flat. She has never lived alone though, except for at uni where she met her now husband. I also find it a struggle financially. I work full time, but it is low pay considering.

Oops. You just mentioned your sister at uni, so I suspect you are not in the U.S. I don't know if your area has something similar to our FMLA laws to help protect you during a bout with mental health issues. Best of luck to you. ❤️

[glows]

7 minutes ago, goldengirl11 said:

I live alone, but my parents live in the same town. They know I struggle and I usually get an (extra) alarm call from my Dad incase I oversleep! I am considering moving back in with them, even though my sister (who lives an hour and a half away with own family) thinks I should appreciate having a nice flat. She has never lived alone though, except for at uni where she met her now husband. I also find it a struggle financially. I work full time, but it is low pay considering.

Don’t worry about your sister. Do what’s best for your health and try to get your health back on track. It’s good that you have family close by but they also cannot solve your health issues.

Were you diagnosed and are you being treated for depression? 

Edited April 4, 2022 by glows

[goldengirl11]

7 minutes ago, glows said:

Don’t worry about your sister. Do what’s best for your health and try to get your health back on track. It’s good that you have family close by but they also cannot solve your health issues.

Were you diagnosed and are you being treated for depression? 

Yes, I have been taking medication for some time. I have been in this NHS job for just over 2 years.

Edited April 4, 2022 by goldengirl11

[goldengirl11]

8 minutes ago, vla1120 said:

Oops. You just mentioned your sister at uni, so I suspect you are not in the U.S. I don't know if your area has something similar to our FMLA laws to help protect you during a bout with mental health issues. Best of luck to you. ❤️

Hi,

I’m in the U.K. I’m not sure tbh if there is a similar law here, but thanks for the info and best wishes. 🙏

[vla1120]

21 minutes ago, goldengirl11 said:

Hi,

I’m in the U.K. I’m not sure tbh if there is a similar law here, but thanks for the info and best wishes. 🙏

From the little research I just did, it looks like you do have a similar act in the U.K. Maybe you could discuss this with your doctor, if you are afraid it to adversely affect your work. Also, hang in there, it DOES get better. It took almost two years for my daughter to find the right therapist and right medication to help her. Maybe you could move back with your family to help you get through this difficult time. It's always good to have a solid support system!

[dramafreezone]

1 hour ago, goldengirl11 said:

Hi Wiseman,

The reasons I have usually been off sick for are depression/anxiety-related.  Yes I do have a set amount of leave days to use and have next week off as it happens. Mainly because I am going away for a few days with family.

I am now worried re tomorrow and looking like I was lying, or just scatty maybe?! I wouldn’t be surprised if it gets a mention in the next meeting with HR later this month. 

From their viewpoint it probably doesn't really matter if you are lying or not.  Most employers value reliability and availability above everything else.  Even if they believe you're being truthful there comes a point where they determine if you're worth holding on to or not.  They have to also consider the morale of the other employees, who may have to take on more work due to the absence of others.

It's of the utmost importance that you address any mental health issues as those can tear down your professional life now and for the future.  Though technically your personal life is not their business, it may help you to be transparent with your company as they may be willing to work with you to get through a tough time.

Edited April 4, 2022 by dramafreezone

[poppyfields]

1 hour ago, goldengirl11 said:

I just replied and made out that I had thought had booked the whole day off, and would make sure it wouldn’t happen again. I signed off saying see you at 9:30 tomorrow morning.

Moving forward, something I've learned is to always be 100% honest with employers and OWN when you make a mistake or screw up. 

In this case, you were not and did not, you made up a story you thought sounded plausible but it doesn't and makes you appear flakey and irresponsible.

Next time, best to apologize, you woke up not feeling well and was planning on calling in. 

They cannot hold it against you for being ill, but they can hold it against you for being flakey and irresponsible.

Do your employers know you suffer from depression and anxiety and that's why all the sick days? 

If you're in the US, there is an accommodation for that, get a note from your doctor and your employer is required to allow for this accommodation, it's the law.  

But most importantly always always be honest and own your * (mistakes or when you screw up).

I'm sorry this happened, I used to suffer from same so I know how it goes. 

I hope you feel better soon, and good luck moving forward. 

 

[goldengirl11]

6 minutes ago, poppyfields said:

Moving forward, something I've learned is to always be 100% honest with employers and OWN when you make a mistake or screw up. 

In this case, you were not and did not, you made up a story you thought sounded plausible but it doesn't and makes you appear flakey and irresponsible.

Next time, best to apologize, you woke up not feeling well and was planning on calling in. 

They cannot hold it against you for being ill, but they can hold it against you for being flakey and irresponsible.

Do your employers know you suffer from depression and anxiety and that's why all the sick days? 

If you're in the US, there is an accommodation for that, get a note from your doctor and your employer is required to allow for this accommodation, it's the law.  

But most importantly always always be honest and own your * (mistakes or when you screw up).

I'm sorry this happened, I used to suffer from same so I know how it goes. 

I hope you feel better soon, and good luck moving forward. 

 

I take all this on board, but.... Shall I say that I realised I’d made a mistake earlier today/this morning but was embarrassed? This is awful, I wasn’t thinking straight. I realise that I should’ve rang them this morning to sort, or just gone in!

Edited April 4, 2022 by goldengirl11

[Wiseman2]

1 hour ago, goldengirl11 said:

I’m in the U.K. I’m not sure tbh if there is a similar law here

Yes see if your physicians can direct you to help with your workload/hours employer.

Not sure of the labor laws where you are but intuitively, documentation from your physician, therapist etc. usually helps when someone is struggling.

It applies in physical health such as "light duty" etc., so see what's what with your healthcare providers.

[goldengirl11]

14 minutes ago, poppyfields said:

Moving forward, something I've learned is to always be 100% honest with employers and OWN when you make a mistake or screw up. 

In this case, you were not and did not, you made up a story you thought sounded plausible but it doesn't and makes you appear flakey and irresponsible.

Next time, best to apologize, you woke up not feeling well and was planning on calling in. 

They cannot hold it against you for being ill, but they can hold it against you for being flakey and irresponsible.

Do your employers know you suffer from depression and anxiety and that's why all the sick days? 

If you're in the US, there is an accommodation for that, get a note from your doctor and your employer is required to allow for this accommodation, it's the law.  

But most importantly always always be honest and own your * (mistakes or when you screw up).

I'm sorry this happened, I used to suffer from same so I know how it goes. 

I hope you feel better soon, and good luck moving forward. 

 

Yes my employers do know my health background re depression & anxiety, hence why all sick days.

[goldengirl11]

Shall I say that I realised I’d made a mistake earlier today/this morning (before they contacted) but was embarrassed? This is awful, I wasn’t thinking straight. I realise that I should’ve rang them this morning to sort, or just gone in!

[goldengirl11]

I cannot face going in tomorrow, but I know that I will get another ‘return to work.’ No doubt manager will want to talk to me when I go in tomorrow. If I could, I would just resign. I cannot stand this pressure.

[poppyfields]

17 minutes ago, goldengirl11 said:

I cannot face going in tomorrow, but I know that I will get another ‘return to work.’ No doubt manager will want to talk to me when I go in tomorrow. If I could, I would just resign. I cannot stand this pressure.

Based on my own experience, I can almost promise you it won't be as bad as you're anticipating.

When I struggled with GAD, I would drive myself into such an emotional state sometimes over stuff like this, but it turned out to never be as bad as I imagined it would be. 

It will be OK, IF they question you about it, be truthful and apologize.  Own it, that's all you can do. 

I think it will be OK, can you go for  a run to calm down?  

I do Yoga and Pilates, eat the right foods and now drink something called Sportea, and together it's helped me more than any medication ever did!  

 

Edited April 4, 2022 by poppyfields

[Els]

2 hours ago, dramafreezone said:

From their viewpoint it probably doesn't really matter if you are lying or not.  Most employers value reliability and availability above everything else.  Even if they believe you're being truthful there comes a point where they determine if you're worth holding on to or not. 

It's not that easy to fire a permanent employee in the UK, AFAIK. Especially if they can prove that there were mental health issues.

I don't live in the UK, but it's fairly easily googled. https://citrushr.com/blog/hr-headaches/dismiss-employee/:
 

Quote

Be sure that you’re not discriminating against someone with a protected characteristic, such as age, religion, sexual orientation, disability etc.

If someone’s performance is suffering because of a disability, you’ll need to first make reasonable adjustments to help improve their performance. Remember, mental health problems such as depression and anxiety can amount to a disability.

Only employees with over 2 years of employment with you have a right to challenge a dismissal as unfair on a number of grounds. For instance, they could challenge that you didn’t follow your disciplinary procedure correctly, or that the reason for the dismissal was unfair. However, if your reason for dismissing someone is discriminatory, it will be considered ‘automatically unfair’. An individual can challenge a dismissal of this sort, regardless of their length of employment.

 

 

Edited April 4, 2022 by Elswyth

[glows]

52 minutes ago, goldengirl11 said:

I cannot face going in tomorrow, but I know that I will get another ‘return to work.’ No doubt manager will want to talk to me when I go in tomorrow. If I could, I would just resign. I cannot stand this pressure.

If you resign what are your options?

[stillafool]

1 hour ago, Elswyth said:

If someone’s performance is suffering because of a disability, you’ll need to first make reasonable adjustments to help improve their performance. Remember, mental health problems such as depression and anxiety can amount to a disability.

Does this also apply in the hiring phase? LIke if you know someone has mental health issues is it okay not to hire them?  Just curious.