Should I contact her?

[Iser137]

To try and make this brief but apologies if it gets a little long. There’s a girl I like who I’ve known my entire life but haven’t seen her in years although I do regularly check out her Instagram stories and so she must know I have some interest in her.

I’ve kissed her on three separate occasions as I’m definitely attracted to her and she obviously likes me enough although I will admit she’s a solid 7 maybe even an 8 with make up on and much taller than I am (our significant height difference is also a contributing factor as to why I feel low confidence in contacting her).

Anyway, I was literally thinking of messaging her and saying the following:

Me: Hey … how are you? It’s been a while :). 

Her: 

Me: Are you up to anything? 

Her: 

Me: Would you like to come over? 

And then see what happens…

I don’t think she’s got a partner as there’s been no pictures or any hints that I can tell of and do a part of me thinks eff it. I may aswell just try and see… 

Or is it weird and ammi setting myself up for rejection to just randomly contact her out of the blue after so many years just to come over? I’ve liked a few of her photos so it won’t be completely random. I just wanner sleep with her and then just move on really. 
 

 

 

Edited April 6, 2022 by Iser137

[Alpacalia]

28 minutes ago, Iser137 said:

Me: Would you like to come over? 

🤨

I would skip that part.

 

[Iser137]

7 minutes ago, Alpacalia said:

🤨

I would skip that part.

 

OK I get why. I think your saying that that’s way too soon to be asking that but as I said I’m just looking for a hook up nothing more. She seems like she might be down for it as I know she’s done it in the past albeit with a famous celebrity but as I said we have a history so I’ve got that going in my favour. 
 

We’d look too silly if I took her out unless it was somewhere like the cinema I suppose. 

[Alpacalia]

26 minutes ago, Iser137 said:

OK I get why. I think your saying that that’s way too soon to be asking that but as I said I’m just looking for a hook up nothing more. She seems like she might be down for it as I know she’s done it in the past albeit with a famous celebrity but as I said we have a history so I’ve got that going in my favour. 
 

We’d look too silly if I took her out unless it was somewhere like the cinema I suppose. 

Oh, missed that part.

Well, try it.

See if she's receptive.

Good-luck!

 

Edited April 6, 2022 by Alpacalia

[Iser137]

6 minutes ago, Alpacalia said:

Oh, missed that part.

Well, try it.

See if she's receptive.

Good-luck!

 

Do you think it’s too sudden to ask her over just like that? 

[Iser137]

Just now, Alpacalia said:

Have you actually dated her in the past?

No, just kissed three separate times. We went to the cinema once when we were younger but I barely remember it and other people were there so definitely not a date. 
 

I mean, girls like s** too and loads of girls have guys they contact just for that so I’m thinking she might be up for it. I would take her out but as I said because  if the height thing I thing I don’t think we’d be compatible. 

[Alpacalia]

3 minutes ago, Iser137 said:

No, just kissed three separate times. We went to the cinema once when we were younger but I barely remember it and other people were there so definitely not a date. 
 

I mean, girls like s** too and loads of girls have guys they contact just for that so I’m thinking she might be up for it. I would take her out but as I said because  if the height thing I thing I don’t think we’d be compatible. 

Find out if she's even single first since all this may be moot.

Every relationship-even one night stands-involves a delicate dance of determining intentions. 

Just be honest.

"I am attracted to you physically, I am not interested in dating or a relationship, however, I would love to meet you."

You could also try to get a feel for what she's looking for.

[Iser137]

22 minutes ago, Alpacalia said:

Find out if she's even single first since all this may be moot.

Every relationship-even one night stands-involves a delicate dance of determining intentions. 

Just be honest.

"I am attracted to you physically, I am not interested in dating or a relationship, however, I would love to meet you."

You could also try to get a feel for what she's looking for.

Yeh, I agree. I mean There’s no evidence to suggest so. I guess I should just ask.

Just thinking about contacting her to ask her over seems so blunt. Usually I’d like to atleast talk to her for a while you know. Catch up with her. Yea it seems so sudden and quick to just ask her over and to also ask her like third question in whether she has a boyfriend. 
 

That’s the thing about talking via social media it lacks the  natural flow you have when speaking face to face vs behind a screen. 
 

Then again tbh my main interest is purely s**ual anyway so… 

When you say: 

 

“You could also try to get a feel for what she's looking for.”

 

I was thinking of doing that buy saying: 

 

“Is that something that sounds good to you?”

 

Would that be a good way of finding out what she’s looking for or is there another way you’d put it? 

Thanks for the feedback btw :). 

Edited April 6, 2022 by Iser137

[Alpacalia]

15 minutes ago, Iser137 said:

Yeh, I agree. I mean There’s no evidence to suggest so. I guess I should just ask.

Just thinking about contacting her to ask her over seems so blunt. Usually I’d like to atleast talk to her for a while you know. Catch up with her. Yea it seems so sudden and quick to just ask her over and to also ask her like third question in whether she has a boyfriend. 
 

That’s the thing about talking via social media it lacks the  natural flow you have when speaking face to face vs behind a screen. 
 

Then again tbh my main interest is purely s**ual anyway so… 

When you say: 

 

“You could also try to get a feel for what she's looking for.”

 

I was thinking of doing that buy saying: 

 

“Is that something that sounds good to you?”

 

Would that be a good way of finding out what she’s looking for or is there another way you’d put it? 

Thanks for the feedback btw :). 

Alternatively.

You can just ask her out for a drink.

Then just let the conversation flow from there. 🍹

[Noproblem]

Why would she come over. I am sorry but this is horrible way to reconnect with someone.

Just tell her you've been thinking about her and wonder how has she been doing and you'd like to meet in coffee shop or somewhere fun!

 

[Iser137]

5 minutes ago, Noproblem said:

Why would she come over. I am sorry but this is horrible way to reconnect with someone.

Just tell her you've been thinking about her and wonder how has she been doing and you'd like to meet in coffee shop or somewhere fun!

 

I’d love to. But as I mentioned above I think Becuase of the significant height difference I’d kinda feel embarrassed. 

Atleast when your lying down height is kne a irrelevant… 

When she comes over we’ll have some fun first and a drink at mine that way I don’t have to feel embarrassed about being so much shorter than her since sir will be only be the two of us.

 

 

[Noproblem]

5 minutes ago, Iser137 said:

I’d love to. But as I mentioned above I think Becuase of the significant height difference I’d kinda feel embarrassed. 

Atleast when your lying down height is kne a irrelevant… 

When she comes over we’ll have some fun first and a drink at mine that way I don’t have to feel embarrassed about being so much shorter than her since sir will be only be the two of us.

 

 

then what? will you ever be embarssed about what makes you you, people gonna look if you care, people always look

I look at flowers, I look at cats, I look at couples, who cares.

Just embrace what you have and own it.

Don't let embarssment steal your life away from you, also you can always wear some high heals for guys ( forgot what they call it) 

Just fake confidence and you'll be fine..

 

Edited April 6, 2022 by Noproblem

[Alpacalia]

Given that you've already met previously, she's fully aware of your height.

[Iser137]

I’m glad to be receiving replies from girls as this is more relaxant to you and I want to know what you women think rather from a males perspective :). 

What’s funny about the last time I kissed her was we just bumped into each other during a night out and there was no none around which I liked and so she bent down to kiss me. It was so long ago I barely remember it but yea I definitely feel bad about the idea if not taking her somewhere first which is not the right way to go about it. 

I think cinema would be a better idea than coffee or a drink as atleast no one will see us lol. 

Then again I could just find a girl somewhere else.

I’ve even thought about approaching girls in the street believe it or not I read how some girls actually like it abs don’t find it sleezy or creepy as it makes them feel good about themselves that a guy finds them attractive enough to approach them. 

 

 

[Alpacalia]

11 minutes ago, Iser137 said:

I’m glad to be receiving replies from girls as this is more relaxant to you and I want to know what you women think rather from a males perspective :). 

We've got lots of secrets. 😉

[Wiseman2]

7 hours ago, Iser137 said:

 but haven’t seen her in years 

It's ok to have a crush and fantasize, but you haven't seen her in years.

Don't send this message. It's a bit creepy and she may block you.

Instead get a good profile and pics on quality dating apps and start talking to and meeting women in real life. 

Don't ask women to come over. It's creepy unless you are already dating.

 

[Iser137]

I totally get what yours saying but I think she'd definitely be up for it because I know her from way back. This chick is a lot less effort than meeting someone knew plus she's hot. 

At the same time, she's seen me checking out her social media and hasn't messaged me so perhaps she isn't interested or has a partner and just doesn't never includes him in any of her posts/stories even though she posts regularly. 

I've been showing an interest in her social media for a long time but haven't summoned the courage to message her even just to chat. I mean, another long time mate of mine messaged her out of the blue as far as I can tell and she was totally fine with it but he was just asking her whether she was attending an event...

I know her and I do think if i play my cards right I could have her easily. Might have to bring a mate along with me as I remember she was posting insta stories of her with a friend where it was just the two of them almost waiting for me and a mate to come down. We've done it before with another two girls who also went to the same school as this girl you see.

I'll never be serious about using dating apps as i just think they are sad for several reasons. Also, I read online that tinder chicks just mostly use it to try an attract guys over to their Instagram or even just to make themselves feel better about their appearance which isn't right but I guess most guys wouldn't fall for that. Plus I read that they get flooded with messages and likes so they have alot to choose from. I'm the kinda person that likes to simply see chicks in real life and go from there. Much simpler and natural. 

 

 

 

[Wiseman2]

2 minutes ago, Iser137 said:

. This chick is a lot less effort than meeting someone knew plus she's hot. 

How creepy is that? Ok if you want to risk losing the friendship send that creepy message.

If you want "easy" and sex delivered to your house, you may end up paying for that.

[Iser137]

Yeh, your right. Who knows then maybe I'll randomly bump into her like I did before which I ended up kissing her...

The only way I'd pay for sex is if I felt i had slept with enough women that I got on my own without having to pay. 

You do know that girls like sex though too right. I'm going to test the waters so to speak whilst chatting with her to see whether she'd be interested in coming over for a drink, a chat and then whatever happens from there. Might just be some heavy petting and kissing first time... 

[blueletters]

You're doing an awful lot of deliberating for a mere casual encounter with this woman. What makes her special, besides being a lot less effort? 🙂

[Iser137]

9 hours ago, Alpacalia said:

We've got lots of secrets. 😉

As I mentioned above, she’s hot like a solid 7. She’s modelled and even slept with a famous celebrity (one night stand) as it made the news. 
 

fear of rejection from her as I’ve always thought we had a thing albeit just kissing so would hurt more than being rejected by a new women I met.

 

there’s one other major reason but too private to mention. 

 

 

Edited April 6, 2022 by Iser137

[mark clemson]

If you're interested in hookups, isn't that what Tinder is for?

Seems a lot of trouble and it seems to me that you really "want more" but lack confidence and/or assume it won't work out because she is tall.

Not sure what to advise you, but remember that some of women's attraction triggers are more psychological, confidence being a particularly prominent one. I certainly concede height is a factor, but Tom Cruise, Michael J Fox, and Bruno Mars are all "short" but have been sex symbols in their day and no doubt there are many others.

[glows]

10 hours ago, Iser137 said:

I’d love to. But as I mentioned above I think Becuase of the significant height difference I’d kinda feel embarrassed. 

Atleast when your lying down height is kne a irrelevant… 

When she comes over we’ll have some fun first and a drink at mine that way I don’t have to feel embarrassed about being so much shorter than her since sir will be only be the two of us.

 

 

You’ll still have to greet her at the door if she comes over. Or will you remain horizontal on the bed and leave a rose petal trail to the bedroom? How do you expect to hide your height when her feet stick out way past yours in bed too? 

If you’re just concerned about what strangers think don’t worry about it. She’s with you, you’re with her and enjoy the company and see where it leads. Meeting for coffee is an easy way to break the ice and you can get rid of that insecurity too.

[Iser137]

15 hours ago, mark clemson said:

If you're interested in hookups, isn't that what Tinder is for?

Seems a lot of trouble and it seems to me that you really "want more" but lack confidence and/or assume it won't work out because she is tall.

Not sure what to advise you, but remember that some of women's attraction triggers are more psychological, confidence being a particularly prominent one. I certainly concede height is a factor, but Tom Cruise, Michael J Fox, and Bruno Mars are all "short" but have been sex symbols in their day and no doubt there are many others.

As I already mentioned, I'd ideally like to hit it and quit it lol. She seems like she may be down for that as I know her.

As for the confidence thing yea it sucks being short and has no doubt limited the kind of chicks i can go for but yea i agree about girls liking confidence. 

[ ] 

 

Edited April 7, 2022 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
off topic

[Iser137]

12 minutes ago, glows said:

You’ll still have to greet her at the door if she comes over. Or will you remain horizontal on the bed and leave a rose petal trail to the bedroom? How do you expect to hide your height when her feet stick out way past yours in bed too? 

If you’re just concerned about what strangers think don’t worry about it. She’s with you, you’re with her and enjoy the company and see where it leads. Meeting for coffee is an easy way to break the ice and you can get rid of that insecurity too.

Yea I feel bad at the thought of messaging her directly to come over but we'd have a drink at mine, chat and then go from there as I said above. I'm not interested in taking her out even though I know that's the polite way to go about it. I'm going to greet her at the door and well be standing for a while.

Know I'm thinking if we ever bump into each other like we have in the past perhaps I'll test the waters with her then and for now just move on.