Wedding Bells Are Ringing?

[RoroHare]

How would you know that she's the right one?

I woke up in the middle of the night last night thinking about strange things that make me upset, like how not so normal my life has been. I feel that I've wasted so much time for things that didn't make me happy.

I am now 34 years old so I feel pressured by parents that I should now marry. 

I couldn't sleep after waking up in the middle of the night, worrying if my current girlfriend is the 'one.' I opened my messenger and read a happy message from her that made me think that, yeah, she is the one.

Hours later, while bathing, I kept thinking about the possibility that wedding bells might already be ringing. I feel it. She might be the one. 15 minutes into meeting her for the first time ever, I already felt that way.

She understands everything about me, even my weirdnesses and [ ] she still loves me.

She likes the same kinds of fetishes that I enjoy --- I work out a lot and have muscles --- so she loves muscle worship the same way I do. She's into working out as well. We kind of click in many ways.

Of course, there are some imperfections here and there, including the fact that she's not too pretty, and the fact that she lives far away, and so on and so forth. But who is perfect, any way?

And, oh I forgot, we both wanted to go to Barcelona next year. How funny is that???

But how would I know that she's the one? What are the tell-tale signs?

Edited April 7, 2022 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
removed personal information

[Wiseman2]

25 minutes ago, RoroHare said:

 she's not too pretty, and the fact that she lives far away, and so on and so forth. 

How long have you been dating? How far away is she? How did you meet? How often do you see each other in person?

If you two were to get together would one of you have to move, change jobs, be away from friends and family?

 

[RoroHare]

How long have you been dating?

The reason I'm posting this is that everything's happening so, so fast. We first dated last November. On our second date, in February this year, we became officially in a relationship. We date every now and then. She lives far away. There were three consecutive weeks when we dated each other. Every day that she's here, we date.

How far away is she?

4-5 hours away 😐 But she's moving to a town 2 hours away in June this year.

How did you meet?

Through a webinar.

If you two were to get together would one of you have to move, change jobs, be away from friends and family?

She's moving here. She likes my city.

[Wiseman2]

36 minutes ago, RoroHare said:

. We first dated last November. We date every now and then. . There were three consecutive weeks when we dated each other. 4-5 hours away . 

Way too much way too soon. Slow way down. This is just casual dating.

See a physician for an evaluation of your physical and mental health. Make sure you are being treated regularly for the bipolar disorder.

Ask for a referral to a qualified therapist for ongoing support. Make sure you get regular care and your healthcare providers can detect manic episodes before problems arise.

[RoroHare]

Thanks, buddy. I think it's still too early to tell... but my mum wants me to get married already. At 67, she's still got no grandchild.

 

[Els]

Dude, you can't marry someone just because your mum wants you to. That's unfair to you and unfair to her (the woman you are marrying, not your mum).

You know that you want to marry someone by... just knowing. If you don't feel that way, then you shouldn't.

[Lauriebell82]

I understand the pressure to get married by family or friends (in this case your mom). But please don't let that cloud your judgement! I felt pressured because I was "getting older" when I got married (I was only 28 though, I still had time) but my parents CONSTANTLY talked about grandkids and marriage when I was dating my ex husband. Now I am divorced so I think I may have gotten married partly because it was expected of me and less because it's what I actually wanted (or who I even wanted to marry!) Don't make the same mistake I did. Marriage is a very serious commitment. You will know when it's "right for you." Give it to time. 

[Atwood]

Slow down. 

You are talking about marrying somebody you hardly know, who you think isn't too pretty, and who you have described only in a series of ways she serves and mirrors you. You've said nothing actually that positive about her and it's all about how she matches you and fits into your life. Forgive me, but it reads like "yeah this person isn't pretty, doesn't live near me, but she reminds me so much of me I think I should marry her". 

Marriage is a life-long commitment. You could end up having kids with whoever you marry (which really is a life-long committment). You should not be rushing to satisfy mom and dad, even though I know what it feels like to want to make them happy in this way. I'm late twenties with no marriage or babies in sight just yet, even though my parents badly want it, and we just have to go at our own pace. People who love us will understand. And I can guarantee they'd rather you wait for someone you actually really like instead of a stand-in.