Why do women use images with Snapchat filters on dating sites?

[Alpacalia]

No, no guns... 

It's share, not scare.

😆

Edited April 10, 2022 by Alpacalia

[Trail Blazer]

4 minutes ago, basil67 said:

I'd be happy with a guy who would take me fishing but do all the dirty work for me... 

Okay, so the guy is starting to sound like a real catch!  But why won't women reply?

I told him to ease up on the platitudes.  Don't lead with, "hey darlin', don't you look absolutely stunning"

 

[poppyfields]

3 hours ago, Trail Blazer said:

Poppy, are you aware of just how much Snapchat filters alter the way someone looks?

[snip]

Snapchat filters completely alter your facial structure, everything...

Actually no I didn't know that, especially what's in bold, I didn't use snapchat when OLDing.

So fair enough. 

3 hours ago, Trail Blazer said:

As for the fish photos, would you swipe right on a mid-40s man who's a spitting image of Zach Galifinakis, wearing a flannel shirt whilst ankle deep in the Colorado River brandishing his freshly caught trout?

Lol, you completely missed my point TB.  No I doubt I would respond or swipe right BUT I would never write on my profile what that woman did either.

I think it sounds arrogant and entitled.

I'm curious did reading that not bother you?  A woman's profile telling a man what NOT to send otherwise he gets no response?   

Just ignore or swipe left if not her cup of tea, which is what I always did.  We're not a match, next.

I dunno, maybe I'm missing something but I can't even imagine writing something like that on a dating profile.  It just sounds, well, wrong.  

Anyway, hope you now understand the point I was trying to make with that. 😄

 

Edited April 10, 2022 by poppyfields

[basil67]

2 hours ago, Trail Blazer said:

Okay, so the guy is starting to sound like a real catch!  But why won't women reply?

I see what you did there  

2 hours ago, Trail Blazer said:

I told him to ease up on the platitudes.  Don't lead with, "hey darlin', don't you look absolutely stunning"

Yeah, that's gonna get him nowhere fast.  

 

[Trail Blazer]

5 minutes ago, basil67 said:

I see what you did there  

Yeah, that's gonna get him nowhere fast.  

 

Mild pun intended! 😅

[Trail Blazer]

1 hour ago, poppyfields said:

Actually no I didn't know that, especially what's in bold, I didn't use snapchat when OLDing.

So fair enough. 

Neither does a lot of people, especially those in the 40+ age bracket who are less inclined to have used Snapchat.  

I actually demonstrated how Snapchat filters work, with before and after.  He was amazed by the difference. 

Now he's got this huge thing against Snapchat filters and has told me on a number of occasions how he (somewhat proudly) swiped left on an account using them.

1 hour ago, poppyfields said:

Lol, you completely missed my point TB.  No I doubt I would respond or swipe right BUT I would never write on my profile what that woman did either.

I think it sounds arrogant and entitled.

I'm curious did reading that not bother you?  A woman's profile telling a man what NOT to send otherwise he gets no response?   

Just ignore or swipe left if not her cup of tea, which is what I always did.  We're not a match, next.

I dunno, maybe I'm missing something but I can't even imagine writing something like that on a dating profile.  It just sounds, well, wrong.  

Anyway, hope you now understand the point I was trying to make with that. 😄

 

I may have missed your point, however, in the grand scheme of things it's not actually that offensive. 

Sure, it says a lot about that woman, and not great things, either!  But, in my experience half of women on dating sites seem to have a big list of ridiculous demands on their bio.

There are so many things that bothered me, which is why I swiped left so often back when I was OLDing.  It's par for the course when chase women on these apps like thirsty animals!

I'm not going to single out certain demographics.  But what I will say is there's a whole subset of women I simply will not go near.

If only I could remember half of the instant red flag comments or statements that women have posted on their bios.  It's crazy!

[Wiseman2]

Help your friend get the best profile and recent flattering pics he can on the dating sites.  

Suggest he exchange a few messages and arrange meeting for a low-key coffee asap.

Misrepresentation has been a problem for a long time. Blurry pics, old pics, doctored pics, etc.

That's why meeting up in person asap is the best way to rule out photoshopped or SC or whatever fake pics may be there.

If someone stalls meeting in person its a red flag 🚩.

Also your friend needs to be himself. Not a generic version of himself. That way, he'll meet the kind of women who are into him.

[introverted1]

Assuming the goal is to not just generate matches but matches that are actually compatible, the trout pic is fine.  Personally, I would swipe left on that, but men tell me that there are plenty of women with pics of the fish they've caught, and as you've seen by some responses here, there are women who would appreciate that.  If this guy's lifestyle is one where fishing plays a significant role, then having the pic makes sense. The best pics give a sense of who we are, so we can attract others who are similar (or at least would enjoy us).

I'm with poppy on being turned off by profiles that list what the person won't accept:  If you like X, don't contact me; if you voted Y don't contact me, etc.  It's not that those things shouldn't be important to someone, it's something in the presentation that's a turn-off.  It also assumes there is no nuance to X or Y (or Z or...) and I like people who can consider shades of grey and nuances.  Again, this is a personal preference and there's no absolute right/wrong here, just degrees of compatibility.

Denver is a big place.  Hopefully your pal with strike gold soon enough.

ETA:  re filters, I think some women have become so accustomed to using them that they've lost sight of the fact that this is not how they actually look.  I think some are actually out to deceive, similar to angling the cameras in ways to obscure bodyweight, etc.

Edited April 10, 2022 by introverted1

[vla1120]

This is probably why I have had no luck with OLD. I post recent untouched/unfiltered photos, sometimes in less than flattering situations (hiking, after a 5K color run, working in the garden) because I WANT to portray myself as "what you see is what you get." I would have no problem responding to a photo of a man holding a trout (I like fishing) or working on a farm. I'd much rather see those pictures than a picture of him all dressed up just to try to impress the women online when that's not really him. (The MAGA had would be a hard pass for me, though, but probably not for some other women. LOL) 

I've always wondered what men and women are thinking when they filter their photos or post photos that are a decade or more old. Do they not realize if they meet in person, they're going to be caught? Why would you want to start off on a lie? I see a lot of men using filters and/or photoshopping as well, and not particularly well. I just don't get it. 

I'd tell your friend to post real pictures of what he likes to do and how he feels comfortable. That way, when he does start conversing with a woman, at least he knows she likes him for him!

[Alpacalia]

6 hours ago, Trail Blazer said:

Well, no.  He's had about three replies in a week of PoF.  Aaaaand, he put his trout photo up!  At least he didn't put up the one in his MAGA cap! 😳

He just told about five minutes ago as we took a meal break on the graveyard shift, "if some broad don't [sic] like me for who I am then I'd rather just spend the night in with my dogs."

Okay.

Well then it sounds like he's getting matches just not able to transition to meeting in person?

Hard to say without knowing what his message exchanges are.

In contrast to some of the generic information available online these days, I would suggest accepting a more flexible approach based on the fact that everyone is different. Connecting is the goal, isn't it? This means being fluid and open.

Edited April 10, 2022 by Alpacalia

[princessaurora]

Some of the filter apps  people use these days are ridiculous, There's a big difference between trying to camoflauge a blemish or sunburn, (something temporary) than making your nose, eyes, and lips look totally different than they actually do. And people do this craziness. I know one girl who is pretty heavy set and she uses the filters that thin her face and body out., and on her social media she gets tons of likes for it! Apparently when you're looking at pics on fb, snap, insta, this is what people enjoy and will validate you for, but it's not real. So many of them look totally different in person to the point where you can barely recognize them. And if they do this for OLD, the guy/girl is going to be pretty disappointed or taken aback when someone he barely recognizes walks in the door. Then they get pi$$ed and think the person is a  jerk when they walk out or takes no interest, but they bring it on themselves for not being honest.  

[ ]

 

Edited April 10, 2022 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
doesn't address first post

[glows]

6 hours ago, Trail Blazer said:

Am I right to ward him off photos where he's posing with his truck and guns?  That like, a tad too redneck, yeah?  Or do women find that sexy, too? 🤔

 

Truck, yes. Guns, no. 

[Daisy2013]

6 hours ago, Trail Blazer said:

Am I right to ward him off photos where he's posing with his truck and guns?  That like, a tad too redneck, yeah?  Or do women find that sexy, too? 🤔

 

It wouldn’t turn me off, it would pique my interest because I like to shoot.  I even say so on my own profile.  And dogs would be good, also.

[chillii]

Yeah right thanks Tb but yeah, l'm afraid l'm like your friend to, know nothing about snap chat but it's making more sense now.

[poppyfields]

13 hours ago, Trail Blazer said:

I may have missed your point, however, in the grand scheme of things it's not actually that offensive. 

I don't think it's offensive either. There's nothing a man should feel offended by. 

What I DO think is that it's rude [ ]  and gives off an air of entitlement.

Like a man (your friend) shouldn't portray himself genuinely so as to please and gain the attention of some random woman on a dating app?  Catering to her "don't send this, or don't say that" list?  Ugh. 

He should be himself, own who he is, be proud of who he is, and refrain from messaging those woman who don't like it, even if it results in less matches. My opinion.

Not to mention, can you imagine such woman in real life?  If they were to ever start dating?  The hoops she'd expect him to jump through?

Anyway, I'm really sorry as you can see, women and their "lists" which my boyfriend experienced too before he met me, is a real issue for me. 

Such women do a real disservice to the non-entitled women out there and also why there are groups like MGTOW and why many men believe women to be entitled, self-absorbed and hypergamous which makes it harder for the rest of us.

OK, rant over.  And I wish your friend the best of luck!

 

Edited April 10, 2022 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
language

[Weezy1973]

I'd imagine the reason for using the photo filters for a woman is similar to a man lying about his height on his profile, people lying about their age, or women lying about their body type. And likely has a similar result, that is disappointment by the other person when they meet, and practically never a second date. The reason is obvious enough - these folks probably aren't getting any opportunities with people they're attracted to, and therefore "modify" their profile or pics to get that opportunity.

[Lisa]

This thread has had a clean up to remove berating of people who have certain political beliefs/hobbies and off topic commentary.  

As a reminder, this thread seeks to understand why women use snapchat filters on dating app thoughts on dating advice given to Trail Blazer's mate.  

[basil67]

15 hours ago, Trail Blazer said:

Am I right to ward him off photos where he's posing with his truck and guns?  That like, a tad too redneck, yeah?  Or do women find that sexy, too? 🤔

I'm a firm believer in being who we are.  Yes, he could omit the truck and guns in the photos, but then he'll meet women who aren't OK with that and it's a waste of everyone's time.   Given that your mate would rather be single and hang out with his dogs than have a woman who doesn't accept him as is, he may as well present himself authentically. 

There is also the argument that one's photos and wording can be an effective filter.   His truck and guns photos will filter out women who aren't interested in that. But conversely, if a woman sees them and is still interested, the odds of it working out are higher.  

[Trail Blazer]

13 minutes ago, basil67 said:

I'm a firm believer in being who we are.  Yes, he could omit the truck and guns in the photos, but then he'll meet women who aren't OK with that and it's a waste of everyone's time.   Given that your mate would rather be single and hang out with his dogs than have a woman who doesn't accept him as is, he may as well present himself authentically. 

There is also the argument that one's photos and wording can be an effective filter.   His truck and guns photos will filter out women who aren't interested in that. But conversely, if a woman sees them and is still interested, the odds of it working out are higher.  

I have always had the view that in isolation, ones hobbies alone wouldn't preclude someone else from liking them if they otherwise possess positive traits for that person.

However, when someone specifically posts photos based upon a participation in said hobby, it all of a sudden goes from being a hobby to an activity which is centered around a person's existence.

Now, I know that the world isn't black or white like that, but in the nuance of OLD, it's the small things that can ultimately be the tipping point between someone replying or not.

Women seems so fickle on-line because they receive so many messages.  I think women look for any reason to filter out guys because they simply have too many options.

This is by no means berating women because I understand this reality.  When there's a surplus to requirements, anybody will look for any small reason to cull.  Like going for a job interview; the smallest detail can be the difference between being hired or not.

My issues with OLD have never been so much about women's deal-breakers, but rather their misrepresentation of their appearance.  Hence, my bemusement about so much usage of Snapchat filters.

[Alpacalia]

10 minutes ago, Trail Blazer said:

My issues with OLD have never been so much about women's deal-breakers, but rather their misrepresentation of their appearance.  Hence, my bemusement about so much usage of Snapchat filters.

If someone is able to detect said snapchat filters, why not just pass over these women?

It seems like the more logical approach, no?

If your friend prefers someone with a more natural appearance then why can't your friend just connect and reach out/respond to said women?

 

Edited April 10, 2022 by Alpacalia

[Trail Blazer]

56 minutes ago, Alpacalia said:

If someone is able to detect said snapchat filters, why not just pass over these women?

It seems like the more logical approach, no?

If your friend prefers someone with a more natural appearance then why can't your friend just connect and reach out/respond to said women?

 

More logical approach as opposed to?  That's exactly what I've always done in the past, is pass over women with Snapchat filters!  And that's exactly what I've instructed my friend to do, as well.

You've asked *if someone is able to detect Snapchat filters* without considering those whk cannot.  As clearly evidenced by how many posters in here are unfamiliar with the Snapchat filters and how they alter appearances, clearly many cannot.

Snapchat filters are obvious to anyone who knows what they're looking at.  However, if you're unfamiliar, you may assume that yes, theres some kind of filtration with the image, but in no way, shape or form would anyone who's never seen a Snapchat filter used be reasonably expected to understand just how altering they are.

I think you're missing the point.  Why should it go unasked?  Why is it acceptable that someone alter the way they look and misrepresent themselves.  But furthermore, my curiosity extends to the mentality of why.  That is the real illogical thing here.  What are people thinking when they use only these filtered images?

[Alpacalia]

7 minutes ago, Trail Blazer said:

But furthermore, my curiosity extends to the mentality of why.  That is the real illogical thing here.  What are people thinking when they use only these filtered images?

Probably for the same reason, the use of cosmetics and beauty treatments by women dates back to ancient times. For aesthetic or social reasons. 

[Just A Man]

17 hours ago, basil67 said:

I also discussed the fish photo with daughter  🤔  She says, and I agree, that a trout photo is fine as long as he doesn't lead with it.  He should lead with a photo where he's dressed really nice and put the trout near the end.  But I'm sure you're on top of this 😉

 

BUT, what if you found out that he photoshopped a larger trout, or that the trout photo wasn't even a fish he ever caught?  

[Trail Blazer]

1 hour ago, Alpacalia said:

Probably for the same reason, the use of cosmetics and beauty treatments by women dates back to ancient times. For aesthetic or social reasons. 

Therein lies the problem in that case.  Thinking that Snapchat filters are the same as wearing make-up.  They are completely different.

[poppyfields]

1 hour ago, Trail Blazer said:

Therein lies the problem in that case.  Thinking that Snapchat filters are the same as wearing make-up.  They are completely different.

So a snapchat filter can give you a different nose, different eyes for example?

Make your eyes appear bigger, your nose smaller? 

Alter your facial features to make you look like a different person? 

I've heard of that actually and not just with snapchat.

I've also seen such pics and agree they look totally FAKE.  Like a perfectly manufactured toy doll.

I don't know why people do this, my guess would be they are trolls seeking attention and validation (even if it's only in their minds since their pics are fake) and have no intention of meeting anyone IRL.. 

Edited April 11, 2022 by poppyfields