stillafool Posted April 15, 2022 Share Posted April 15, 2022 2 hours ago, Lewis321 said: But I feel like I am being fussy. No you aren't, I'm a woman and I'm the same way. I would want someone I'm very attracted to and that is why I chose my husband. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted April 15, 2022 Share Posted April 15, 2022 3 hours ago, Lewis321 said: I want a FWB situation but with women that I have high attraction for, these women don't exite me atol. But I feel like I am being fussy. Well, you feel how you feel. It's certainly true that 30+ moms tend to not be quite as attractive as 20-somethings, but c'est la vie. I'm not particularly fussy, but some men are. At any rate, if something is holding you back there's really nothing wrong with avoiding starting something. If you think you'll regret missing out one day, then perhaps "try out" the best among your current prospects and see how it goes. That's not a recommendation or anything, just something you could do if you wanted. Consider that (among other possibilities discussed above) it may be that you haven't truly fully emotionally processed your divorce OR that you sense some dysfunction from some of these women and (unconsciously) your gut is "warning" you to stay away from them. Or you're uncomfortable at the prospect of dealing with their kids if things intensify, etc, etc. There are really all sorts of possibilities and certainly nothing inherently wrong with avoiding starting stuff up if you're not sure. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted April 15, 2022 Share Posted April 15, 2022 6 hours ago, Lewis321 said: But I feel like I am being fussy Why, because your friends will apparently sleep with anyone who is offering? Link to post Share on other sites
chillii Posted April 15, 2022 Share Posted April 15, 2022 Happens all the time. Unfortunately not everyone that likes us is someone we might like back in that way. Don't worry about it just feel nice that they have been interested and wait for someone where your interested back. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lewis321 Posted April 15, 2022 Author Share Posted April 15, 2022 4 hours ago, ExpatInItaly said: Why, because your friends will apparently sleep with anyone who is offering? Partly I guess yes. Like I said I've only ever been in ltr so this is the first time in my life that I've had the freedom to 'sleep around' so to speak. Link to post Share on other sites
Weezy1973 Posted April 15, 2022 Share Posted April 15, 2022 9 hours ago, Lewis321 said: Like I said I've only ever been in ltr so this is the first time in my life that I've had the freedom to 'sleep around' so to speak. So as a general rule, men can get more attractive women for a long term relationship than they can for casual / FWB type situations. And for women it's the opposite. So basically if you want something casual with no strings attached, you may indeed have to "settle" for a less attractive woman. And if that doesn't interest you, you might just have to wait until you're ready to be in a relationship again. Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted April 15, 2022 Share Posted April 15, 2022 23 hours ago, Lewis321 said: Yes she is still physically attractive to me, it would be fair to say I don't look at other women the same way I looked at her. Perhaps that's one reason you are not interested in reciprocating interest with the women that have shown interest in you? I feel as we mature and experience long-term relationships, we begin to appreciate people's qualities that are not always readily apparent and admire those qualities in them. There's nothing stopping you from talking to these women without necessarily needing to date (or have sex with) them. Focus on what you like rather than what you dislike, and appreciate what you dislike. More often, people find it difficult to connect with others that inspire them. There are really only a few people in our lifetime who can potentially turn out to be a fit. So it's not all that uncommon to feel attracted (truly) only every once in a while to someone. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Aventra Posted April 15, 2022 Share Posted April 15, 2022 (edited) After my ex dumped me I've had similar and perhaps for the first time ended it with a girl. I haven't found the connection I had with my ex and I'm weary of using someone but also sex is less important now. It's actually really hard finding someone where sparks fly... but worth the wait. Better than being with the wrong person... And I did have sex with a girl and felt nothing. Sex can be overrated. You think you want it and you want a distraction/something to take the loneliness away and then find you'd rather be single . Grass is greener syndrome. Also remember how exhausting relationships can be. There's a lot said for putting yourself first for a bit and finding you're comfortable with yourself. Keep becoming more interesting and I reckon things will fall into place Edited April 15, 2022 by Aventra 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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