Girl always says she's busy but hates when I stop taking to her.

[dramafreezone]

On 4/15/2022 at 7:12 PM, Rico3 said:

I work with this really pretty Indian girl. I want to date her and see where it goes. Been asking her to hangout for a long time but she always says she’s busy. 
 

Every time she does I start ignoring her so I can get over the attraction but it really bothers her and every time she hassles me a lot and asks me why I stopped talking to her. We literally argue every time. 
 

is she playing games or is she really not understanding that I like her and want to be with her?

She is a woman that wants you around for the free attention and validation, and that's it.

She very much understands that you like her and want to date her.  She does not like you in that same capacity, but she very much likes the attention you give her because it costs her nothing.  So she'll try to keep you around for that free attention.

If she's very attractive, chances are that she has friends (with benefits) that are fulfilling what you want from her (a sexual relationship) but those guys probably don't provide the emotional support that you do.  If they did she wouldn't need it from you.

Best thing you could do (to keep your job) is move on, date other women, and keep it professional with her.  You don't have to be a jerk or ignore her, that's only going to show her that she can get under your skin. 

If you are dead set on attracting her, I would advise you to do the same thing, move on, date other women.  I don't condone this but she's someone that would probably be more attracted to you once she sees you with another woman. 

She sounds like trouble though.  You must be young so I do understand what it's like to want someone like this in your life.  It's not healthy, but sometimes you need to get stuff out of your system, figuratively touch the hot stove to know that hot stoves burn you.

Edited May 29, 2022 by dramafreezone

[Rico3]

On 5/29/2022 at 10:52 AM, dramafreezone said:

She is a woman that wants you around for the free attention and validation, and that's it.

She very much understands that you like her and want to date her.  She does not like you in that same capacity, but she very much likes the attention you give her because it costs her nothing.  So she'll try to keep you around for that free attention.

If she's very attractive, chances are that she has friends (with benefits) that are fulfilling what you want from her (a sexual relationship) but those guys probably don't provide the emotional support that you do.  If they did she wouldn't need it from you.

Best thing you could do (to keep your job) is move on, date other women, and keep it professional with her.  You don't have to be a jerk or ignore her, that's only going to show her that she can get under your skin. 

If you are dead set on attracting her, I would advise you to do the same thing, move on, date other women.  I don't condone this but she's someone that would probably be more attracted to you once she sees you with another woman. 

She sounds like trouble though.  You must be young so I do understand what it's like to want someone like this in your life.  It's not healthy, but sometimes you need to get stuff out of your system, figuratively touch the hot stove to know that hot stoves burn you.

Yeah, I've been trying to move on. But can't believe she's throwing these attention tantrums but doesn't even want to be with me. That makes no sense to me.

[basil67]

It makes sense to me: Withdrawing friendship in an office situation rarely ends well.  

[ExpatInItaly]

7 hours ago, Rico3 said:

Yeah, I've been trying to move on. But can't believe she's throwing these attention tantrums but doesn't even want to be with me. That makes no sense to me.

And it doesn't need to make sense, does it?

Let her react however she wants. Focus on yourself and your job, and remain professional. She will get over it. 

[JRabbit]

On 4/16/2022 at 4:06 PM, Rico3 said:

When she's nice to me it gets my hopes and I start asking her to hangout again

Please, use this as a lesson in life. A woman being nice to you does not mean she wants to date you. Women should be allowed to be nice without opening themselves up to being hit on.

[JRabbit]

On 5/29/2022 at 11:52 AM, dramafreezone said:

She is a woman that wants you around for the free attention and validation, and that's it.

She very much understands that you like her and want to date her.  She does not like you in that same capacity, but she very much likes the attention you give her because it costs her nothing.  So she'll try to keep you around for that free attention.

Why all the assumptions she wants attention?

Maybe she just doesn't want the guy she sits next to not talking to her but talking to everyone else in the office. I would be weirded out by that too.  So can women only have 2 places, want to date you or using you for attention?

He said they sit beside each other at work. She probably is just sick of sitting beside someone who won't talk to her. it's not her fault the OP can only go between wanting to date her or not talking at all.  Quite an assumption to assume she is upset over "attention".  

 

[Rico3]

She’s flirting with me again. 
 

Yesterday I was at the office. I don’t see her everyday. And I sat at my cubicle. Talked to my team for a while and she eventually said, “hello. You forgot to say hi to me.”  Out loud randomly. I was like oh. Hello.  
 

Then today she asked me to fix her phone. And I was like I’ll have time tomorrow to look at it. And she kept flirting/teasing the rest of the day. Asking tomorrow right? With the big smile. A few times. She was going to the bathroom and she starred at me with a smile and moved her lips saying tomorrow?  😍
 

why would she act like this knowing I like her. She knows I would easily take it the wrong way. 
 

she even touched my shoulder. When she asked to fix her phone. She was dressed really pretty today with tight clothes and looked like she had a lot of makeup cause her face was silky smooth. 

Edited July 13, 2022 by Rico3

[basil67]

Some people are flirty or very friendly.  Some people are quite touchy.  Some people like to dress up nice and wear make up.  It doesn't mean that they are interested in dating us.

As I advised earlier, just continue being professional.

 

 

Edited July 13, 2022 by basil67

[petee]

On 7/13/2022 at 3:54 AM, Rico3 said:

She’s flirting with me again. 
 

Yesterday I was at the office. I don’t see her everyday. And I sat at my cubicle. Talked to my team for a while and she eventually said, “hello. You forgot to say hi to me.”  Out loud randomly. I was like oh. Hello.  
 

Then today she asked me to fix her phone. And I was like I’ll have time tomorrow to look at it. And she kept flirting/teasing the rest of the day. Asking tomorrow right? With the big smile. A few times. She was going to the bathroom and she starred at me with a smile and moved her lips saying tomorrow?  😍
 

why would she act like this knowing I like her. She knows I would easily take it the wrong way. 
 

she even touched my shoulder. When she asked to fix her phone. She was dressed really pretty today with tight clothes and looked like she had a lot of makeup cause her face was silky smooth. 

Ask he out again, but keep it light hearted and let her know that there’s no pressure either way.

some would have you build a wall so that you don’t see her, but that rarely works and makes you look rather odd.

Interact!!