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Marriage falling apart after in laws got custody


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I wish he would lose weight. I don’t know how to bring this up.

 

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Happy Lemming

Perhaps you could explain to him the benefits of living healthy (not overweight).  Diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol/heart disease can all be avoided with proper diet and exercise.  Stress to him that you care deeply for him and want him around for a long, long time.

How would he feel about taking a daily walk with you.  Start out with a short walk and slowly extend it each day.  Possibly go on a hike??  Are there any nature trails near where you live??

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Quoting your previous post, your marriage is a sh*tshow .    Another post says you've been arguing 24/7 for years.  Honestly, his weight is the least of the problems the two of you have.  And given the mess that the relationship is, I can't see him losing weight because you want him to.

Focus on what's important:  Either sort out your marriage or end it.  And keep working on getting custody of your child.

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7 hours ago, Sugarkane2 said:

I wish he would lose weight. I don’t know how to bring this up.

Why bring it up? He knows he's overweight and if he wants to see a physician for an evaluation of his health and assistance in a healthier life, he'll do so. Nagging never helps.

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dramafreezone
14 hours ago, Sugarkane2 said:

I wish he would lose weight. I don’t know how to bring this up.

Don't take this the wrong way but what's your fitness level?  Do you work on your diet, exercise, all of that, the things that he would need to do to get his weight under control?

Even if you are not overweight if you're not practicing good diet and workout habits it's a bit hypocritical to ask him to do that, JMO.

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Are you the one who cooks most of the meals in the home?  Do you eat together as couple, or do you each go off and eat takeout or separately?

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On 2/12/2022 at 7:15 PM, Sugarkane2 said:

I wish he would lose weight. I don’t know how to bring this up.

In the office of a marriage counselor, where you will be able to start to work on the serious issues you have in your marriage and general family life.  

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  • 1 month later...
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Ever since I had my son, she has been constantly bossing me around. Sometimes with smart comments. Mind you she is younger than me and has no kids. Really had enough. Find myself avoiding her.

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Are you still living with your parents and she lives there as well? She can't boss you around if you're not living under the same roof as her. How are you doing as far as making strides to get out on your own and prove to children and family services that you and your husband can take care of your children on your own? If you live in your own place, you wouldn't have to deal with these issues. 

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3 hours ago, Sugarkane2 said:

Ever since I had my son, she has been constantly bossing me around. 

Do you live in the same household? If not attend to yourself, your child and your family. 

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4 hours ago, Sugarkane2 said:

Ever since I had my son, she has been constantly bossing me around. Sometimes with smart comments. Mind you she is younger than me and has no kids. Really had enough. Find myself avoiding her.

How large is the age difference between you two? Tell her to leave or distract her with other tasks. She may be acting bratty because she thinks you need help. 

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Happy Lemming

Just because she is your sister doesn't mean you have to associate with her.  I haven't talked to my sister in over 25 years.  I hit my wall and cut her out of my life, for good.

If your sister is causing you angst, remove her from your life.  There is no reason to put up with anything or anyone that causes stress in our lives.  You have enough to deal with (raising your young son), you don't need your sister adding any difficulties to your life.

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CPS still wants me to live at my parents so I’m stuck here. She doesn’t live with my parents, but stays over frequently.

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Happy Lemming
1 hour ago, Sugarkane2 said:

She doesn’t live with my parents, but stays over frequently.

I guess you are left just telling her... "When I want your opinion, I'll ask for it... until that time, there is no need to volunteer it."

Try to leave the room & take your son with you.  Perhaps sit outside and enjoy the fresh air, while your sister visits your parents.

Don't engage with her... avoid her... (until such time you are allowed to leave your parents' home)

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Happy Lemming
10 minutes ago, stillafool said:

Maybe your sister has an issue with your parenting skills as don CPS and she's trying to help you.

CPS is the authority in this matter, not the sister.  I'm sure the OP hears enough of it from the CPS representatives; she doesn't need to hear any extra from her sister.

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7 minutes ago, Happy Lemming said:

I'm sure the OP hears enough of it from the CPS representatives; she doesn't need to hear any extra from her sister.

I'm sure she does also but if her sister sees her nieces and nephews in danger she has a right to speak up.  It depends on the circumstance.  There's a reason for CPS being involved and her sister knows more about the reason than this forum.

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Happy Lemming
1 minute ago, stillafool said:

I'm sure she does also but if her sister sees her nieces and nephews in danger she has a right to speak up.

I think you are jumping to conclusions, the OP is living with her parents.  If something were horribly wrong, the OP's parents are there to step in to prevent anything dangerous.  

Nope the sister is just being a "know it all" - busybody that can't mind her own business.  I've seen the type too many times.  The sister is just piling on, probably to make herself look like the better daughter to the parents. 

Again, CPS is the authority figure in this situation, the sister needs to butt out.

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  • 2 weeks later...
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On 4/11/2022 at 10:35 AM, stillafool said:

I'm sure she does also but if her sister sees her nieces and nephews in danger she has a right to speak up.  It depends on the circumstance.  There's a reason for CPS being involved and her sister knows more about the reason than this forum.

My child isn’t in danger and even if they were my mum is here always.

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On 4/10/2022 at 11:56 PM, glows said:

How large is the age difference between you two? Tell her to leave or distract her with other tasks. She may be acting bratty because she thinks you need help. 

The age difference is 4 years

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Happy Lemming

Are you able to regain custody??  If so, how about you and your husband focus on those steps/actions instead of arguing about things you can't control.

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7 hours ago, Happy Lemming said:

Are you able to regain custody??  If so, how about you and your husband focus on those steps/actions instead of arguing about things you can't control.

I don’t know if that’s possible sometimes. Because Of the endless arguing. It’s a huge turn off to have a grown man with such controlling parents. 

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14 hours ago, Sugarkane2 said:

The age difference is 4 years

She probably enjoys getting a rise out of you. Try completely ignoring her. If she's not getting the response she wants, she'll probably back off. How close are you to regaining full custody of your child and moving out on your own? Put all your time and energy into accomplishing that goal and everything else will take a back burner, including your sister's interference. 

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