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Marriage falling apart after in laws got custody


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Considering that CPS is involved, I'm sure there is a lot more to this story.  I don't think we even have enough information to fairly comment.

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16 hours ago, Sugarkane2 said:

His autism makes this marriage very difficult

Your husband has autism? If so, then yes. Even if he is high-functioning, that would make the marriage very difficult and you would need extra support from someone who is well-versed in how his autism is affecting your marriage. It would also take a boatload of patience and understanding from you. If he has autism and his parents have been dealing with his issues from childhood, that puts a bit of a different twist on why you consider them controlling. Have you done research on the topic of adult autism and parenting? Just one quick Google search brought me to this article. https://www.verywellhealth.com/autistic-adults-as-parents-4147325 Here's another article for women in relationships with autistic partners:  https://www.iidc.indiana.edu/irca/articles/tips-for-women-in-relationships.html

Or maybe I am completely off base and it is not your husband who has autism?

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On 4/21/2022 at 11:57 AM, ShyViolet said:

Considering that CPS is involved, I'm sure there is a lot more to this story.  I don't think we even have enough information to fairly comment.

My old threads can be read under “sugarkane”

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On 4/20/2022 at 6:57 PM, ShyViolet said:

Considering that CPS is involved, I'm sure there is a lot more to this story.  I don't think we even have enough information to 

 

It has been endless arguing for years, ever since this happened. 

 

And parents straight up don’t care that I don’t have custody 

 

A lot of views but not many answers, why?

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Happy Lemming
23 minutes ago, Sugarkane2 said:

A lot of views but not many answers, why?

I don't think any of us have any answers...  Your situation is quite complex.

I understand why you are arguing, both of you are despondent at the loss of custody of your children.

I assume you both desperately want your children back.  Step 1 -  is to stop arguing as it isn't doing any good, what is done is done.  Step 2 - Find out what CPS wants you to do in order to regain custody of the children. I imagine it is a long involved process with quite a few steps and goals you must complete.  Step 3 - Start chipping away at the list of steps that need to be completed.

 

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4 minutes ago, Happy Lemming said:

I don't think any of us have any answers...  Your situation is quite complex.

I understand why you are arguing, both of you are despondent at the loss of custody of your children.

I assume you both desperately want your children back.  Step 1 -  is to stop arguing as it isn't doing any good, what is done is done.  Step 2 - Find out what CPS wants you to do in order to regain custody of the children. I imagine it is a long involved process with quite a few steps and goals you must complete.  Step 3 - Start chipping away at the list of steps that need to be completed.

 

Thank you 

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Happy Lemming
Just now, Sugarkane2 said:

Thank you 

Have you been in contact with CPS??  Is there some expectation for you and your husband to regain custody?? Do they issue updates?? Have hearings??  Do you know their procedures for these matters??

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4 minutes ago, Happy Lemming said:

Have you been in contact with CPS??  Is there some expectation for you and your husband to regain custody?? Do they issue updates?? Have hearings??  Do you know their procedures for these matters??

CPS isn’t involved with my daughters case. I need money for a good lawyer for more info.

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41 minutes ago, Sugarkane2 said:

A lot of views but not many answers, why?

I'm guessing that it's because a lot of us have spent a lot of time with you previously (mostly under your old username) trying to help you but nothing changes.   When you start actively trying to get custody instead of complaining about family, I'm sure you'll get more responses.  

 

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Just now, basil67 said:

I'm guessing that it's because a lot of us have spent a lot of time with you previously (mostly under your old username) trying to help you but nothing changes.   When you start actively trying to get custody instead of complaining about family, I'm sure you'll get more responses.  

 

They’re the reason why I lost. They just didn’t care 

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3 minutes ago, Sugarkane2 said:

They’re the reason why I lost. They just didn’t care 

You previously told us that you lost custody because you had PND

And your post has just underscored my point.   You ask why we don't respond but your reaction to that is to further blame your family.

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Happy Lemming
2 minutes ago, Sugarkane2 said:

I need money for a good lawyer for more info.

When you start getting into the complexities of the law and custody, etc.; it goes well beyond the scope of what the average individual/poster can tell you or assist you with. 

Unless there is a poster that is familiar with the laws in your state and how the process works, there isn't much any of us can post or write. 

Is there any legal aid services in your area that can help??  Legal students that would be willing to help you navigate through the red tape??

If not, my only suggestion would be to work a 2nd and 3rd job in order to earn the funds necessary to hire a lawyer to advocate for you. 

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Happy Lemming
2 minutes ago, Sugarkane2 said:

I don’t know what to do with the endless amount of arguing between my husband and I 

Can you leave the home for a day or two??  Can he leave for a day or two??  I think you both need some time apart in order to digest the situation and come back together as a united front.

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6 minutes ago, Happy Lemming said:

Can you leave the home for a day or two??  Can he leave for a day or two??  I think you both need some time apart in order to digest the situation and come back together as a united front.

We’ve been living separately as CPS wouldn’t let us live together 

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8 minutes ago, Sugarkane2 said:

I don’t know what to do with the endless amount of arguing between my husband and I 

There has been extensive discussion about this on your other threads under @Sugarkane    Was any of the advice helpful?  

 

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9 minutes ago, basil67 said:

There has been extensive discussion about this on your other threads under @Sugarkane    Was any of the advice helpful?  

 

It still ends up in arguing about each other and each other’s parents

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Happy Lemming
21 minutes ago, Sugarkane2 said:

We’ve been living separately as CPS wouldn’t let us live together 

So don't answer his calls or open your door -- if all he wants to do is argue.  It takes two people to argue.

If your husband isn't willing to work with you as a united front to regain custody of your children/daughter, it may be time to think about a divorce...

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LynneVicious

I believe I read in one of your past posts that you were diagnosed as schizoid, though you didn’t agree with it. 

I say this kindly.. Your previous posts show someone with a mental illness that affects your thoughts, words, thinking patterns and actions. Are you being treated with medication? Are you seeing a doctor regularly?

Maybe that could be your ground zero starting point. Get full and complete treatment for your mental health. When you have a healthy mind, you’ll be able to make more sound decisions. 

Mental illness no longer has the negative social stigma as it did years ago. It’s an illness just the same as a brain tumor, asthma, cancer etc. there have been great strides in medications over the last 25 years as mental illnesses have been studied more and researched. 

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6 hours ago, LynneVicious said:

I believe I read in one of your past posts that you were diagnosed as schizoid, though you didn’t agree with it. 

I say this kindly.. Your previous posts show someone with a mental illness that affects your thoughts, words, thinking patterns and actions. Are you being treated with medication? Are you seeing a doctor regularly?

Maybe that could be your ground zero starting point. Get full and complete treatment for your mental health. When you have a healthy mind, you’ll be able to make more sound decisions. 

Mental illness no longer has the negative social stigma as it did years ago. It’s an illness just the same as a brain tumor, asthma, cancer etc. there have been great strides in medications over the last 25 years as mental illnesses have been studied more and researched. 

Why do you say that? Yes I’m on medication and see a doctor. Although there’s No real treatment for being schizoid apparently.

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On 4/26/2022 at 8:44 PM, Sugarkane2 said:

I don’t know what to do with the endless amount of arguing between my husband and I 

Divorce.

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