confused _one Posted October 23, 2005 Share Posted October 23, 2005 Im in a similar kind of problem.. except im living with my mom who my dad just left her for someone else. Shes overbearing, overprotective, not to mention hates my b.f. Shes done everything screaming at me to leave him, she thinks he treats me badly because she saw me crying because I will admit im a sensitive person. But besides the point, she has done everything to get me away from him. I love him with all my heart weve been together nearly a year coming this november, shes tried to bring other men into the house and get them to come into my bedroom while im sleeping trying to get them to pressure me to leave my bf and make a huge mistake by sleeping with them because then he would leave me. Im 18 coming this February and I just dont know how to handle it anymore not to mention I have a sister whos just like her. Im so different from everyone in my family always wanting to do the right thing, never cheating, loving with all I can give. Sigh I just need some advice I dont know how to handle thier b.s anymore they also tell me Im to stupid to become a Pediatrician its really got me down the only one thats encouraging me is the love of my life. Does anyone have some advice for me should I move out? Link to post Share on other sites
wanda1974 Posted October 23, 2005 Share Posted October 23, 2005 [ But besides the point, she has done everything to get me away from him. I love him with all my heart weve been together nearly a year coming this november, shes tried to bring other men into the house and get them to come into my bedroom while im sleeping trying to get them to pressure me to leave my bf and make a huge mistake by sleeping with them because then he would leave me. What kind of mother would send buys in her daughters room to sleep with one of them??? Kind of makes me sick. I think you should stay with your boyfriend, if he is really good to you. If things don't chill out with your mom, plan on moving out when you turn 18. I had a similair situation, and moved out ON MY 18th birthday. Good luck, and always follow your heart. Link to post Share on other sites
Author confused _one Posted October 23, 2005 Author Share Posted October 23, 2005 Thanks for your advice im just worried in taking the step to move out. Iget no respect my opinions dont matter and what I want doesnt matter its kind of sad Link to post Share on other sites
wanda1974 Posted October 23, 2005 Share Posted October 23, 2005 Just worry about you, and only you. You're at the age now that you have to start to do that anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
Author confused _one Posted October 27, 2005 Author Share Posted October 27, 2005 Well now sinse Ive decided to go off to colledge for a year, then transfer to University things have gotten worse. My mom tells me how much she hates me boyfriend, and never wants him in this house again. Hes thinking of coming over for 6 days aka. he lives in calgary I live on Vancouver Island weve known eachother for 6 years, and have been together a year now. I just dont know what to do. I asked her if she wanted me to come back and visit her and the answer I got was no she doesnt want me to, its unbelievable everything she has said to me lately. Telling me why cant I be like her and my sister. Im so different from them I dont drink, and have parties at all I usually go to my room and talk on the phone. I dont know I guess I just need someone to give me advice and how to deal with a mother who hates your boyfriend and your boyfriend who hates your mother because she has treated me horribly, hes very overprotective and just loves me so much, but I dont know how to deal with the hate between them. My boyfriend wants me to not go back and visit because of what shes said and done and wants me to be safe and loved and protected with him. I just wish the hate they have for eachother would stop its got me in the middle of it. Help Link to post Share on other sites
curiousnycgirl Posted October 27, 2005 Share Posted October 27, 2005 I lived through the very same hell 20 years ago - it's amazing how things don't change! Reality is there is no point in asking her now, especially when she's angry, if she wants you to come visit - it doesn't sound like she has any clue what she will want later. Sounds to me like you need to do what's best for YOU. College and University would DEFINITELY by good for you. Getting out of that abusive house will be good for you. Running to your b/f and artificially accelerating a relationship (ie getting married or whatnot) would probably not be the best idea - you need to grow on your own and become the amazing woman you are going to be! A quick view of my story - just so you know, I really know what I'm talking about - when I was your age my parents told me not to bother coming home again (I was at work) - so I didn't. I disappeared. I came back 2 weeks later to collect my things (which they had already packed and put in storage) and my cat. I had absolutely no contact with them for 6 months - they did not have any clue where I was AT ALL. After 6 months I felt I had gotten myself back on my feet enough to call. I had a job (ok 3 jobs), my own place (ok with roommates) and was in school, which I had fully paid for myself! When I called it was on my terms - NOT theirs. This continued on and off for a few years (no it was not an easy road). Finally they learned that I had set limits and when they cross the line, I walk away. Here's the amazing kicker - now, 20 years later - I am the one everyone turns to when anything goes wrong. I have a faily high power job on wall street and even subsidize my parents' absurd lifestyle. So all that time they may have wished I was more like them, I am sure they think otherwise now - although they'll never admit it. I hope this helped. Feel free to private message me if you would like more direct correspondence, etc. I'm here for you and I am very, VERY proud of you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author confused _one Posted October 27, 2005 Author Share Posted October 27, 2005 Thank you for your advice, and your encouragment that your proud of me only have heard that from 2 people so far my b.f and my school councellor helping me with my career options. Heh sry I cant private message you it doesnt work heh. But yes I have been going through this for a year now. And am just fed up with it, I really want to do the right thing constantly, with me im such a forgiving person even when I get treated abusivly. Btw did your parents help you pay for your education or did you take out a loan, or did you have money saved up? Link to post Share on other sites
Author confused _one Posted October 27, 2005 Author Share Posted October 27, 2005 Sigh Any one reply to my post Link to post Share on other sites
curiousnycgirl Posted November 1, 2005 Share Posted November 1, 2005 Sorry it took so long for me to get back to you - been a bit sick. I paid my own way working 3 jobs and taking an overload of credits. You see my parents were still claiming me as a dependent on their taxes, so I did not qualify for any financial aid or even student loans. I chose a state school, which made it cheaper - but I assure you it was NOT easy. On the other hand I can definitely say it was worth it! Link to post Share on other sites
Author confused _one Posted November 14, 2005 Author Share Posted November 14, 2005 Yeah! Im thinking its not gonna be easy. An update so far its been the same drunk guyz have still been coming over, just going upstairs to get a drink of water trying to make my way back downstairs. But get stopped moved into a corner, and then having them be verbally assalting me, having to walk home from work late at night on the highway because my mom was at the bar with my sister. So far my loving boyfriend has decided to put a stop to it all, he cant stand it. Hes desided to pull my dad into the whole situation which I guarentee you Im scared Ive told him not to because If my sister and my mom fine out Il be crusified, raked over the coals for tatling on them of how horrible they have been and wasting money on drinking and having men and partys over at our house. Im afraid that If my mom finds out iit will leave me worse off in the end. My boyfriend has told me that he wont let anything bad happen to me and I know I can trust him. Im just so unsure. my above situations are the type of things im dealing with. My boyfriend tells me he wants to get me out of the situation im in because Im having no respect for myself dealing with them. I want him to stay out of it and just let me deal with it till I can move out is he right about not having any respect for myself and dealing with them. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts